Clerks Page #6

SILENT BOB nods.

JAY:

Tonight, you and me are going off

that f***er's head, and take out his

f***ing soul! Remind me if he tries

to buy something from us, to cut it

with leafs and twigs... or f***ing

sh*t in the motherf***er's bag!

Some girls walk past. JAY smiles at them.

JAY:

Wa sup sluts?

(to SILENT BOB)

Damn Silent Bob! You one rude

motherf***er! But you're cute as

hell.

(slowly drops to knees)

I wanna go down on you, and suckle

you.

(makes blow job neck-

jerks)

And then, I wanna line up three more

guys, and make like a circus seal...

JAY makes blow job faces down an imaginary line of guys,

looking quite like a performing seal. He throws a little

humming sound behind each nod. He then hops up quickly.

JAY:

Ewwww! You f***ing f*ggot! I f***ing

hate guys!

(yelling)

I LOVE WOMEN!

(calmer)

Neh.

A GUY comes up to them.

GUY:

You selling?

JAY:

(all business)

I got hits, hash, weed, and later on

I'll have 'shrooms. We take cash, or

stolen MasterCard and Visa.

CUT TO:

INT:
CONVENIENCE STORE. DAY

A SMALL CROWD gathers around the ACTIVIST as he orates. It

has become something of a rally.

ACTIVIST:

You're spending what? Twenty, thirty

dollars a week on cigarettes.

LISTENER 1

Forty.

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