Clapham Junction Page #3

Don't you worry.

Come here.

- My mobile.

- Oh, what?

- I want to see you again.

- You can't.

- Call me.

- No.

- You will, you know.

- You're sure of yourself, aren't you?

Bye then.

You've gotta lovely arse.

And you've gotta lovely husband.

- Where the hell have you been?

- I'm sorry.

I was running out of excuses,

what have you been up to?

Oh, for christ's sake, give me some.

I've been twisting with the vicar.

- Very pure, don't overdue it.

- I was beginning to thing you'd had second thoughts.

- Where's the ring?

- It's in my wallet, kept slipping off.

- I know I gave him the right measurements.

- It's allright, I'll take it in tomorrow.

A pint please.

- Hot, innit?

- Yeah.

- I think you'd gone.

- Nah I ain't gone. - Good.

- I'm Alfie, by the way.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.

- You don't meet many Alfies.

Let me introduce you to...

No, it's OK.

My mun rang just before I left. I told her

I was doing a wedding, but I didn't tell her it was gay.

- She wouldn't have minded it, would she?

- I don't know. She probably knows everything anyway.

Yeah, mums usually do.

- Nice.

- Yeah, if you like that sort of thing.

- Pissed all down my trousers.

- Oh, yeah?

Still, you won't mind that, will you?

I said it don't go there.

But he don't listen, know what I mean?

He's a knob.

He kept pushing. And I kept telling him

and then the f***ing thing snapped.

- A right knob.

- About 30 quids worth.

- He should get the boot.

- I've been f***ing saying that.

- Hello, Rog.

- Hey, Robin.

- How are you?

- Oh, I'm OK.

- How are you?

- F***ing knackered.

Come on and have a drink.

What can I get you?

- Robin!

- Fancy one of these?

You're looking so well, isn't he, Roger?

- Greatful clients sent me a couple of cases of that.

- Oh, I've got you this.

- You shouldn't have.

- And I must say, it's bloddy nice. Here you are.

- And you've put on a little bit of weight.

- Do you think? - Yeah, it's good.

- See what you think.

- Thanks, cheers.

F***ing...

See how I trust my lovely

Shropshire lad! You've got to call me now.

Silly bastard!

- Something about summer, isn't there?

- Yeah.

Gets the old sap rising. Ever get the feeling

sometimes that you're missing out.

- That the party is going on without you.

- You don't feel that, do you?

It's all a bit aimless, you know.

Sort of chugging along.

Something about the kids going to university.

I feel a bit itchy in the foot department.

I want to play the field again.

Well, I've been playing the field since I

was 15, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

I need women.

I just love them, you know?

Well, you've got one.

It's not the same though, is it?

So what's your name then?

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