City Slickers Page #3

another chin. The music gets too loud.

An old girlfriend from high school

becomes a grandmother.

50s, you have a minor surgery. You'll

call it a "procedure", but it's a surgery.

60s, you'll have a major surgery.

The music is still loud...

...but you can't hear it anyway.

70s, you and the wife

retire to Fort Lauderdale.

You eat dinner at two in the afternoon...

...lunch around ten,

breakfast the night before.

You spend most of your time in malls

looking for the ultimate soft yoghurt...

...and muttering

"How come the kids don't call?"

The 80s, you'll have a major stroke. You

end up babbling to a Jamaican nurse...

...that your wife can't stand

but who you call "Momma".

Any questions?

Danny was embarrassed

to tell the class what my job is.

They're nine! They get excited about the

guy who gives them change at the arcade.

You just happen to have one

of those jobs that's difficult to...

Believe that a grown man

does without losing his mind.

Well, what is my job?

I sell advertising time on the radio.

Basically, I sell air.

At least my father was an upholsterer.

He made a sofa, coach you can sit on it.

Something tangible.

What can I point to?

Where's my work? It's air. I sell air.

So what are you saying?

You wanna quit?

How can I quit?

I'm trapped.

- You're trapped?

- Yeah. You want to send Holly...

...to a performing arts school.

- She's got talent.

Talent? She was in one play,

and she fell off the stage.

That's not talent, that's gravity.

And that school costs money.

- Bye.

- Bye.

- Where are you going?

- I'm sleeping at Gwen's.

Again?

Are you paying rent there?

- Dad.

- We're having a birthday party.

- I don't wanna hang out with your friends.

- I told her it'd be all right.

We'll have a family party tomorrow.

- Bye, Dad. Happy birthday.

- Thank you.

Let me show you

how I pop my shoulder.

Danny. Dan.

Come on.

He's in the gifted programme at school.

Come on, go to sleep.

Kim, you poor thing. What has married

life done to you? You look like hell!

Six months. Admit it. You didn't

think Ed would ever get married.

He met the right woman.

- How often are you meeting that woman?

- You're lucky it's your birthday, pal.

Excuse me, I see one

of the guests is stealing.

Your husband is so cute.

You must laugh all day.

Yeah.

My sides hurt.

We saw a picture of you

in a newspaper in your underwear.

Oh, that was an advertisement.

I sometimes model ladies' underwear.

- You looked great.

- Mom...

...you said "Let's see how

she looks after having two kids."

Daniel, time to go to bed.

We'll wake you for your wedding.

Phil. Psst.

Hello.

You're pretending

to sleep at my birthday party.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote