Christmas Vacation Page #4

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- When did I last overdo anything?

Come on, unravel these.

You have to check every bulb.

Got a little knot here. You work on that.

I'll get the other box.

- I hope he falls and breaks his neck.

- I'm sure he'll fall.

I don't think we're lucky enough

to have him break his neck.

Let's go.

These winds appear

to be playing havoc with that giant float.

These winds appear

to be playing havoc with that giant float.

At this point I can't even see the nuts.

They must have blown away.

But nothing is going to dampen the spirit

of this holiday crowd, I can tell you that.

Oh, here they are. Here come the nuts.

These look like giant nuts to me.

Yeah, I'm reminded of a couple years

ago, the winds were so high here...

...we almost lost Santa's reindeer.

Rudolph's red nose took out a third floor

window at Marshall Field's.

Rudolph's red nose took out a third floor

window at Marshall Field's.

They better keep their eyes out

on their nuts before someone gets hurt.

Would it be indecent to ask

the grandparents to stay at a hotel?

Audrey.

Well, can we at least forbid them

to answer the phone?

Alex called this morning. Grandpa Clark

told him I couldn't come to the phone...

- ...because I was going to the bathroom.

- We're all making sacrifices, Audrey.

Everybody? Do you sleep

with your f***ing brother?

Do you know how f***ing sick and twisted

that is, Mom?

Well, I'm sleeping with your father.

Don't be so dramatic.

I have f***ing nightmares about

what he does in his bed...

...when I'm not f***ing lying right next to him.

Well, I don't know what to say except

it's Christmas and we're all in misery.

Ellen, are you smoking again?

No!

Ow!

Hey, Dad, where do you want

these reindeer?

Just put them down there on the lawn,

Russ.

I can't find the Santa Claus.

It's in the basement. We'll get it later.

- Clark. Dinner's ready.

- Okay, honey. I'm starving.

- Clark. Dinner's ready.

- Okay, honey. I'm starving.

Obviously something

had to break the window!

Something had to hit the stereo!

- And why is the carpet all wet, Todd?

- I don't know, Margo.

- And why is the carpet all wet, Todd?

- I don't know, Margo.

You want to hurry this up?

I'm freezing my baguettes off.

Two hundred and fifty strands

of light...

...100 individual bulbs per strand...

...for a grand total of 25,000

imported Italian twinkle lights.

- Twenty-five thousand.

- I hope nobody I know drives by...

...and sees me standing in the yard,

staring at the house in my pajamas.

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