Christmas in July Page #4

Wait for your laugh.

- Wise guy.

Bread and butter.

- Bread and butter.

Don't fall down the ladder.

- I've been down it before.

You fell down it before too.

Good night.

- Good night.

See you at the office.

- Aren't you going to take me?

All right.

Good night, Jimmy.

- Good night.

Good night.

- Good night.

Night.

Good night, honey.

- Good night, darling.

Good night.

- Good night.

Good night.

(Jimmy) I tell you, it makes you sleep.

- OK, it makes you sleep.

And water runs uphill

and dogs miaow and cats bark...

...and water's red-hot in the winter

and freezes over in the summer.

You're a dreamer. Just like your father.

With him it was always automobiles...

...where the wind, it

scooped it up in the front...

...and pushed out the back to make it go,

or some such.

There's no wind blowing out of my ideas.

Pretty windy. Have you got car fare?

- Think so.

(Coin drops to floor)

- Yeah.

Make a wish.

What falls to the floor comes to the door.

All right.

- There's nothing to laugh about.

I mind the time your father,

may his soul be peaceful,

dropped a quarter down a crack,

and it wasn't an hour till a near-sighted man

gave him a five-dollar gold piece...

...instead of a nickel in paying his fare.

We went to Coney that night.

- What was wrong with Pa's eyes?

He was looking somewhere else.

There was nothing the matter

with your father.

He was a fine-looking conductor.

He was.

- You'd seem a shrimp beside him.

I would.

- Don't say anything against him.

I'm not saying anything against him, Mum.

Well, watch your step.

Jimmy.

- Yes'm?

There's money in your cup.

(Bell dinging)

So the sucker says, 'Is Mr. Fish there?'

And the guy says, 'Which one do you want?

This is the New York Aquarium.'

(Laughter)

The best one is, you say,

'This is the Edison Company.

'Would you mind seeing if the street light's

burning in front of your house?'

And when the poor mug says, 'Yes, it is,'

you say, 'Well, blow it out, will you?'

(Laughter)

Hello, is this

the Maxford House Coffee Company?

Could you tell me if the jury's reached

a verdict on the contest yet?

They haven't? Then there's

still a chance for everybody, huh?

Thanks just the same.

I wonder what one of those suckers

would do if they ever did win.

Well, it's very easy to find out.

All you need is a telegraph blank,

some scissors and some glue.

Cut it in strips, do it on the blank.

- Holy mackerel.

(Bell rings)...

...(Bell rings)

Good afternoon, Miss Casey.

Good morning, Mr. Waterbury.

Good morning, John.

Jams. It's been doing that quite a lot lately.

The wonder is it works at all.

- Yes, sir.

Come into my office a moment,

Mr. MacDonald.

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