Christmas Crime Story Page #5

in this heat like this.

You're gonna need a f***ing IV

to replace all the

fluids you lost.

Where you going?

All right, it's

cool, man, no hurry.

I'll stay here and keep watch.

- Lose something?

- Oh.

- Geez, what happened?

- Oh, I didn't know, I tripped.

- Tripped on what?

- Oh, it's kinda stupid, really.

Thanks.

- Yeah, sure.

Merry Christmas.

- Ugh!

- Whoa, whoa.

- Goddamn!

- You hurt?

You'll be all right.

Take it easy next time.

- There won't be a next time.

- Camera's not

the hope diamond, buddy.

You can always buy a new one.

- If I had left it there, it

would have been suspicious.

- Well, body-checking a cop

is pretty suspicious too.

Don't you think?

I don't think Sleeping Beauty

is gonna wake up

from that one, mm-mm.

- Shut the f*** up.

- Oh, testy, huh?

That's what I love

about you, Davy.

You hit all the stages,

boom, boom, boom, boom.

One after the other.

What, huh?

You should be happy.

Acceptance is the final stage.

- No more f***ing

chat, shut the f*** up!

- Why you getting

all riled up, huh?

I mean, you should

be grateful, dick.

- Oh, f***.

- We better get her out of here.

She looks so peaceful,

don't you think?

All right, let's roll.

I bet you 20 bucks

I find it first.

- I don't

even own a shovel.

- Of course you do.

It's one of those

things everyone has

stashed away somewhere.

Aha, and I'm the type of guy

who's gonna say, I told you so.

- Let's go.

- Hold on a second.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it's nice.

- Are you f***ing crazy?

- Ha, hardly.

- I'm not

chopping her up.

- So, look.

We go out there, dig a

hole, we'll put her in.

- Right.

- Then, we'll cut her

into teeny, tiny pieces.

- I'm not doing

that, I told you,

I'm not cutting

her up, all right?

Jesus!

- See, this is why I hate

hanging out with you, Dave.

You never wanna have no fun.

- Being psychotic is fun to you.

- Well, here's what's psychotic.

You f***ing sitting around

all day watching action movies

and never doing

anything with your life.

- I'm happy.

- Look at you lying.

Nobody could be happy

doing what you do.

- I suppose all things

considered, it's not too bad.

- What would you do if Mommy

and Daddy were still alive

and you didn't have this

nice little nest egg?

You'd be doing the same

f***ing thing you're doing now.

Nothing, nada, ha.

- I can't believe

she did that to me.

Oh, you knew.

- What does he

have that I don't?

- Sense humor, massive cock.

Sounds like me, don't you think?

- Shut the f*** up.

- You better slow down.

You're driving a little

too f***ing fast.

- I'm not.

- You're driving too fast, okay?

See, I told you you

were driving too fast.

- F***.

- I can't f***ing believe you.

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