Christmas Crime Story Page #3

faraway land called work.

And they make money.

- Is that so?

Maybe I got left out

of the loop, huh?

- David, I'm serious.

You hanging around the house

all day is kinda f***ed up

when I have to go and work.

- What's bothering you more?

That you're working

or that I'm not?

- Both.

- You wanna switch?

- No, I just wanna be equal.

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Tis the season to be jolly

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Don we now our gay apparel

David, are you listening to me?

David.

- Not really.

- Hi, I'm sorry for the delay.

I hope I didn't

keep you too long.

There you go, it's on the

house, Merry Christmas.

- Appreciate it.

- Oh, well, thank you.

Would you like

some food, dessert?

- I think we'll need

a minute or two.

- Oh, okay, just let me know.

Join the triumph of the skies

With angelic host proclaim

Christ is born in Bethlehem

Hark, the herald angels sing

Glory to the newborn King

- Good stuff, ladies.

- All right.

- So, hot chocolate?

- Yes, sounds good.

- All right, let's

get a move on.

I caught you trying to

sneak a peek earlier.

Now, what would Mrs. Claus

have to say about that?

- Well, she is the

jealous type, so--

- Got you by the balls?

- Ice grip.

- Ugh!

- So, all this?

Why do you do it?

- For the kids.

- You have kids?

- A charity.

It's just a small

way that I give back.

On the streets, kids don't

have much to look forward to

this time of year.

I'm Lena.

- Jason.

- Pleasure.

- So, got any plans

for Christmas?

Maybe besides this, obviously.

- Very little.

I'm a full blown Heeb.

- Yeah, I'm not really a

big man upstairs kinda guy.

- Just because I'm

into the Tanakh

doesn't mean I can't give you

New Testament boy some love.

- So.

You doing anything after?

- Just him.

- Ha.

- It was nice to

meet you, Jason.

And good luck with

the collection.

- David.

David, I'm not f***ing

around, please.

- Debatable.

- Bullshit.

You treat me like

your f***ing pet.

While I'm at work,

you hang around on the

sofa watching movies

or doing whatever the

f*** you do on that couch.

- I read, too, sometimes.

Besides, how would you know?

If you're at work?

- Because you're always

still watching them

when I come back.

- Oh, really?

You're really tugging at

the heartstrings here.

I mean, those starving kids

in Africa got nothing on you.

- That's not fair.

- Life is not fair.

I pay for the house, I pay

for my car, paid off your car.

The one you

handpicked, by the way.

Got you that rock you love

to flaunt so f***ing much.

And all your jewelry,

and your spa treatments,

whatever the hell they are.

And in return,

you pay the groceries.

Which I cook.

And the utilities.

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