Chill Factor

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(CHOPPER APPROACHING)

(INDISTINCT TALKING) Hemmings! Sam, I thought, I told you to close up shop

and be ready to move off the island by nightfall. Yes, Captain Brynner, you did, but... But what? Sam, can't I go to the loading dock

for a few hours without coming back to find a major screw up? With all due respect sir, Dr. Long told me to prep the field for detonation at noon.

Jesus Ch... We're on a very slippery slope here, Sam. A covert military operation riddled with civilian scientists.

You don't think it's that bad, do you, sir, I mean... Long spent the last two years developing his defoliant. The stuff can't even kill crabgrass yet.

Where's their protective gear? It's 100 degrees out here, captain. Don't you think the guys deserve a break? They'll get a break tomorrow.

I'm not gonna take chances on our last day. (ENGINE STARTS)

(WHOOSHING)

(BEEPING)

Hey doc, what's up? I thought we wrapped the tests yesterday. Captain Brynner is gonna sh*t if he finds out we haven't closed up shop.

I had something of an epiphany this morning, Telstar. I eliminated the binary shell, and I grafted the cobalt ion

to the other side of the molecule. I think it might give us a significantly more rapid chemical ignition.

It better. (BEEPING) Mr. Sweeney, how goes it?

Well (CLEARS THROAT) Costello's finished with the stability profile... But Abbott is still chewing on the load file.

So, reaction temperature is 50 degrees. Your prediction was on the nose. How much longer for the range and power projections?

Oh, (EXHALES) I don't know. Uh, he's working, but there's a lot of data. Maybe another hour.

We don't have an hour. We're already supposed to be shut down.

BRYNNER:
Dr. Long. What the hell's all this about a detonation today? We're scheduled to be off the island tonight.

And I changed the schedule. I don't work for you, Captain Brynner. Sweeney tells me you don't have computer confirmation.

You know, Captain, if you hadn't spent so much of your career questioning your superiors, you might have found yourself with more gold leaf on your collar.

This isn't some kind of pissing contest, Long. You may be in charge here, but those men out there are my responsibility.

Look, this is a scientific experiment, okay? If it works, your stock at the Pentagon will go up along with mine.

I don't think I need to mention you could use the help. The NSA thinks the UN is onto your work here.

The White House is screaming about chemical weapons, and we're sittin' here with our hands in the goddamn cookie jar.

Let me tell you something else. I didn't join the service to let people like you turn the United States into the kind of country we're supposed to be fighting...

But you have no choice but to follow orders. Now listen to me.

I know you have moral objections to what we're doing here, but, believe me, if I thought there was any real danger, I wouldn't go forward.

You have my word on that. (SIGHS) All right. One more shot,

provided we're off the island tonight.

Let's proceed. Ladies and gentlemen,

Elvis is approaching the stage.

Safe distance, 200 yards. And make sure Hemmings hears you say it.

Hey John, Gimme a hand with this. (INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

Two hundred yards, Hemmings. D minus five.

HEMMINGS:
All right, we're movin' out, men.

Hold it. Get closer together.

(HUMMING)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(BEEPING)

Jesus. Dr. Long! (PANTING) I got 8,000 yards.

Radius is five miles. What? Long, what the hell? Abbott's predicting the effective detonation radius is five miles.

That's the entire island. We've gotta shut it down. We gotta shut it down.

(ROARING)

(EXPLOSION)

Oh, my God. "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds."

No! No! You'll kill us all! Damn you, Long. My people are out there.

Your people are out there. It's too late. It's too late.

(GUN SHOTS)

(GROANS)

(GRUNTING) (BANGING ON THE DOOR) Let me in! MAN: Captain Andrew Thomas Brynner, it is the opinion of this review panel

that the verdict delivered in this case is justified that you are, in fact, guilty of criminal negligence,

resulting in the deaths of 18 members of a military research team on the date of August 18, 1987.

It is also this panel's opinion that the sentence of reduction in rank, forfeiture of all pay and allowances,

and 10 years in the United States disciplinary command at Fort Leavenworth

is justified. Furthermore, you are advised that while you are a prisoner, you remain bound by the National Security Act of 1947.

If you divulge classified information, or discuss the nature of the project in which you were involved,

you will face further prosecution. Do you understand?

I assume your silence indicates assent. Transfer to Leavenworth will be immediate.

You're dismissed.

Andrew, I wish they would've let me say something about... There's nothing to say, doctor. Someone had to take the fall,

and they still need you, whereas I've never been anything more than a thorn in their collective side, as you once said.

So I'll be locked safely away in some hole along with my secret sins.

And yours.

(CLANKING)

(DOOR SHUTS)

(SIGHS)

Ready?

(SIGHS) Been tryin' to figure out your secret.

My secret? Yeah. Ten months, we've been fishing this river together.

We use the same equipment more or less, but you pull twice as many fish out of the water as I do.

And I'm good at this. Been doin' it since I was a kid.

But you, I don't know. Somehow you think like a fish. No, that's not possible, Mason.

The trout is a perfect hunter. He's the master of his realm.

How can we ever hope to win against the trout? There's only one way you can do it, Mason.

Turn the power of the hunter against him. Tie a fly,

create a piece of bait that sends the fish's instincts into overdrive, forcing him to strike, and only then does our noble friend realize

that the prey can bite back.

And that power, without caution, is death.

People might say you're readin' an awful lot into a simple thing like fishin'. Some people might,

but I don't think you would.

(SIGHS)

(PHONE RINGING)

He's here. It's about time.

We all know what we have to do.

So let's do it.

WOMAN:
What's the big deal with you? (MUSIC PLAYING)

(BELL DINGING) (INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

DARLENE:
God damn it, Mason. Of all the days for you to show up late.

First, the idiot April calls in sick, then I got a bad tooth... And then my night man shows up when he feels like it.

Darlene, it's 5:30. Now, I worked late for you this morning, and you didn't want to spring for overtime, remember?

Oh. Well, I have got to get to the dentist before he closes, which means you're gonna have to cover the grill and the floor.

I can handle it. It doesn't take a genius. Hmm. (GLASS CLINKING)

How'd we do today, doc? (SIGHS) Oh, caught a few, lost a few. (LAUGHING) Story of my life.

Well, one thing you won't lose is that friend of yours back there. I'll tell you that. Oh, no?

You're two of a kind, doc. He may not have your sheep skins, and, well, most of the time, he looks like something

the cat might have dragged in, but he's smart enough to get you somehow.

There's something else too. Uh, we both like to fish. Uh, secrets.

Ah. His, I know. Yours, I don't have a clue. Hmm, but if it wasn't for you, I think he'd have drifted right on through this town.

(CHUCKLES) You know, I have yet to get a simple cup of coffee and a meal in this place, Darlene?

And you ain't gonna start now. Mason!

Yeah? Be sure you feed Bosco. And don't give him any ice cream, like April. It gives him gas.

And make sure there's two pots of coffee ready... Before the morning crowd blows in. I got it, Darlene. (DOOR CHIMING)

(DINGING)

Is this stool taken? No. Go... You look good, Richard. You look fit, healthy.

Not at all like a man responsible for the deaths of 18 people.

Is that why you're here? To blame me? Well, you could've saved yourself the trip. I know where the blame belongs.

But I didn't put you in prison, Andrew. The government did that. Oh, I'm well aware of what the government did, I assure you.

Actually, I just come to say how grateful I am to you and the government.

Grateful? Mmm-hmm. Together, you gave me the opportunity to realize just how very wrong my life had gone.

Do you remember telling me once that all through my career, I'd never fit in? Well, you were right, of course,

but after years of thinking the matter over, I began to see that the whole thing wasn't really my problem.

What rational man could fit in with the sorts of things our government was doing? The sorts of things you've always done, Richard?

Do you think I haven't seen the bodies of those men every time I've closed my eyes? But after you went away... "Went away?" (LAUGHS)

"Went away." I like that. It's almost quaint.

All right. After they put you away, I began trying to find ways of controlling the effects of the weapon

that we tested on Horn Island. And let me guess, you failed. So far... (STUTTERS) Yes.

Why is it you scientists can create implements of destruction so quickly, but when it comes to cures and benefits, your speed is nothing short of glacial?

Though at least you're trying, Richard. And if the road to hell is paved with good intentions,

we know you'll find your way there quickly. And don't worry.

It's not such a bad place. I should know, after all.

Okay, doc. (DINGING)

The usual. Doc!

Good morning, Dr. Long. Hi.

Good morning, doc. Awful early, aren't ya? Couldn't sleep, Pump.

Is everything all right tonight? There's nothin' goin' on out there, doc, except maybe the occasional fly fisherman.

(SIGHS) Hey, doc.

Might wanna try this one out sometime. Nice one.

Colonel Brynner. I got an appointment to see Dr. Long. Can I see some I.D., sir?

(GRUNTS)

Video lock. You got 30 minutes. (GUN SHOTS)

(GASPS)

(GUN SHOTS) (GRUNTS)

Forget about him. Let's find the prize.

Vaughn.

We're in.

This is it.

(SIGHS)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Uh... (MUSIC PLAYING)

(CAR DOOR SHUTS)

(GROWLING) (DOG BARKING)

What, do you work for my boss, dog? Okay. Okay. Okay, okay.

At least somebody likes this sh*t. (WHINING)

(DINGING) Mornin'.

Little early for a delivery. Oh, yeah, I'm tryin' to get most of my day done before it hits 90. Where's Sam? Sam?

Andy gave Sam a nice big desk to park his fat ass behind. Where do you want this stuff?

Freezer in the back. (WHISTLING) Art.

Mornin', Mason. Two large coffees to go, okay? All right.

So, Mason, last Wednesday night, uh, were you out, uh, drifting around like the trash you are,

or were you here working? If it was Wednesday night, I was working. You recognize this young man?

Nope. Is there a problem? You find yourself wearing a badge someday, then you can ask the questions.

Until then, you answer mine, got that? So you don't remember selling this young man beer Wednesday night?

I don't sell beer to minors. I take that kind of thing seriously. That's not the way I hear it.

Matter of fact... Take it easy, Pappas. Mason, this boy says you did sell him beer that night. Yeah?

Well, he's lying. Lying? Mason, you wouldn't know the truth if it bit you.

We've got your whole record. (CHUCKLES) We know about the... The conviction for vagrancy,

public drunkenness. I didn't sell the boy any beer. Shut your mouth until I tell you to talk, son.

You know, I gotta tell you. That really bothers me... Somebody calls me "Son." Then how about if I call you "a**hole"?

LEWIS:
All right, both of you, just cool off. Look, Mason, maybe the kid showed you a fake ID or, uh,

you forgot to check. I didn't forget to check, and I know how to spot a fake ID, especially from a little geek like that kid.

That little geek is my son. All right. (SCOFFS) Enough. Look.

Mason, I don't wanna hear about you selling alcohol to minors. I didn't sell any alcohol... I'm not saying you did. Just don't, okay?

You make sure you keep your nose clean, we won't have any problems. Let's go, Pappas.

I said, let's go. You got a problem too? No, sir. I've never seen this guy before.

(SCOFFS) (DOOR BELL TINKLES)

Sure as hell met a few a**holes like that, though. (DOOR BELL TINKLES)

(ARLO CHUCKLING) You gotta learn to lighten up (CAR DOOR CLOSES)

when the man's in your face. That's my business. (CAR ENGINE STARTS) No argument there. Guy's a f***ing moron.

Hey, I'm with you on that one, my man. Prick.

Look, you need me to sign an invoice or something? Uh, between this month and last month, you owe $417.

And we need that in cash. Since when does Darlene pay you in cash? Since today. New policy. (EXHALES)

Yeah, well, Darlene didn't say anything about it to me, so tell Andy to bill her like usual, and let them sort it out.

Move. (SCOFFS) Well, he told me to collect cash.

Andy... Another f***ing moron. Hey. You and I are seeing eye to eye on a whole range of issues this morning.

(LAUGHS) Uh-huh? Except for the fact that I need cash.

He could've called first. He could've. That's... That's true. But that would've been smart and fair.

Two things Andy is not. Uh, but I tell you what.

Being that it's cash, I'm gonna give you 10% off. Say, uh, 375,

seeing that we both have so much love for Andy. I'll tell him I lost a few cartons coming over the mountain. That'll make up the difference, huh?

Huh? Well, Darlene usually gives me a signed check for emergencies. I could always give you that.

No, no, no, no, no. Wait. Night Shift, see? A check is not cash. (GROANS)

Cash got a whole lot of numbers on it, pictures of old white men with messed-up hairdos. That's what I need.

(SIGHS) All right, all right. I'll... I'll go you one better. 275, and I'll tell him you'll make up the balance next month, huh?

(DOOR BELL TINKLES) Doc!

Oh, oh, Jesus. Hey, hey... Hey. What the...

Sh*t! Oh, sh*t. (GRUNTS)

Is that his truck? Yeah, that's my truck. Mason, you have to take this to Fort Magruder

in his truck. Wait. This town is full of trucks. Nice new trucks. You don't need to go take my...

We need your truck. Call an ambulance. Mason, no. There's no time.

I don't see it. Turn around at the gas station. Look behind the buildings.

So you called the damn thing "Elvis?" (SHAKILY) I had no idea how powerful it was.

Eighteen men were killed in seconds... With just a fraction of what's here.

(GROANS) Mason. And now the man who did this, he's... He's coming after it.

You can't let him have it. You have... Have to get it to... (WHEEZING)

Back to McGruder. (WHISPERS) Hey, Night Shift. Why don't you make it $150. We'll call it a day.

VAUGHN:
There. Check it out.

Carl, the main phone junction. Move. This is already affecting our schedule.

Dennis, radio the bikes. I wanna know if so much as a squirrel comes up that road. Yes, sir.

The compound has to be kept cold, or it'll ignite.

Cold? Cold. How cold? Never let it reach 50 degrees.

And what if it does? Everything will die, Mason. In seconds, everything for hundreds of miles.

That's why you need his truck. Mason.

It's clean. Check the immediate area. This was supposed to be a quick in and out.

You have 10% of $100,000,000 coming your way. I think we can impose on you for a little overtime.

You're the only one I can trust. The only one who understands

what this (STUTTERS) means, Mason, Mason.

Doc! Doc, wait. Doc, wait. Wait, Doc.

(BREATHING HEAVILY) (GRUNTS) No.

Sorry, man, he's dead. It's after 5:00, sir. (MUFFLED) Our satellite link is on schedule.

Should I start the feed? Get them on line, then stall. (INDISTINCT)

MAN:
Closing down, sir. BRYNNER: Vaughn, Burke, move to the end of the street. Fan out and work your way back to the motel.

We gotta get help. Oh, f***! It's dead.

(DOOR BELL TINKLES)

Morning. Is this your establishment? Yeah, they call me Darlene.

Well, then, how about a cup of coffee, Darlene? Iced coffee. I assume you want that to go.

Assumptions are always dangerous.

That's quite a get up for jacking deer. I beg your pardon. You wanna hunt outta season, it's cool with me.

But most people, they just take a six and a rifle. You, on the other hand...

Look like you're after something more dangerous. Actually, I was just looking for a restroom. I assume you have one.

Assumptions are always dangerous.

There is one in the back.

(WHISPERS) Hey. Hey. Be cool. Be...

That was quick. (CHUCKLING) To tell you the truth,

we're looking for a scientist who's gone missing from the tech center. Maybe you know him.

Richard Long. We're worried about him.

I'll keep an eye out. MASON: Doc Long. Doc Long. Yeah, I know him.

Weird old guy. He comes in from time to time, yeah. Not tonight, though. Hmm.

Odd, then, that his car should be right outside. Like I say, Doc Long's an odd guy.

Say, General. That'll be 50 cents for the coffee.

(DOOR BELL TINKLES) What did I say?

Dude in a uniform get in your face, you do not shout your mouth off. I need your truck. (LAUGHS) No, no, no, you don't need my truck.

You need somebody else's truck and a sh*t load of ice. Look. If I don't get this stuff to McGruder, it's good-bye Andy's Ice Cream,

good-bye Jerome, good-bye Montana. Wait, man. You don't believe the dead guy, do you? Yeah, I believe him. He was my friend.

Oh, for crying out loud. Hey, listen, you know what I think? I think he's a wacko,

and I think that GI ninja's a bigger wacko. And I think you're the biggest wacko of all, wanting to be a part this wacko sh*t.

I need your help. You are seriously mistaken if you think you're going anywhere in my truck.

Then you drive me to McGruder. Look, I got two tons of the world's nastiest ice cream

sitting in a truck that should've been retired 10 years ago. That sh*t will be worthless by noon. (HUFFS)

And if that Elvis sh*t is as dangerous as you seem to think it is, I'm getting my ass as far away from you and it as possible.

(KISSES) Peace. Fine. Slap the red off his neck. Ain't gonna take my truck. Wait, wait, wait, hold up. Hold up. Look.

You want cash? You want cash? I got like, uh... I got, uh...

I got 50 bucks. I'll get more. I'll rent the truck from you. You can go, you can stay here. Whatever you want.

No. All right. Then how about this? Hey, you're gonna piss me...

What the hell you supposed to be doing? I need your truck. You are not taking my truck!

How far you got to go? (SOFTLY) Go.

Move it. Go on. God damn it. Would you hurry up?

Now put this in the back. Keep it safe. (SIGHS)

Come on, let's go. Did you keep it safe? Yeah, I kept it safe. (DOG BARKS)

What the hell is with you, dog? He's the one with the damn gun. You gave him ice cream, didn't you? Come on, let's go. To keep him off my ass.

What'd you do that for? It makes him mean as a snake. That dog was mean before I met him. That dog ain't mean. Come on. Get in the truck. I will stomp your ass.

Shh! I will bust a mud hole in your ass. Don't tell me to shush. It's none of your business. I can talk all I want to. Just shut up.

(ENGINE SPUTTERS) Are you kidding? Come on.

Damn. What the hell's going on? It happens to this piece of sh*t all the time. Damn diesel injectors are flooded.

Excuse me, can you fix this? You wanna give me a minute? MAN: Well, if it's national security,

I guess it's okay. I just hope we don't bust in on anybody

doing what people do in motels. Sh*t. (ELECTRIC CRACKLES)

(ELECTRIC CRACKLES) Wait for me here, sir, if you don't mind.

(ELECTRIC CRACKLES)

Get in.

(DOG GROWLS) (GRUNTS)

(DOG BARKING) Damn dog.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Get back in the truck.

You mean to tell me to get in the truck. I'll kick your ass in a minute if you play that.

Better coast through town.

We're clear. (ENGINE BANGS)

Whoo-hoo, there he is.

Hold it, I hear something.

Get Brynner on the radio. Come in, command. Truck just passed check point. Over.

Run that back. Let me enhance it. (MONITOR WHIRRING)

Print it.

Sir, this transmission just came in. Well,

it appears someone's been lying to us.

Alert the bikes. It's in the back of the truck. You have a go. Roger, we're on it. (GRUNTS)

Sir, all potential customers have been informed of the delay. Any further orders? So,

a pair of average citizens have decided to risk their lives for their country.

I almost remember what that feels like.

No signal. Suppose you're gonna shoot me because you can't get service on my cell phone.

(BRAKES SCREECH) Billings? No, no, no, no.

We need to go to McGruder. (HAND BRAKE CREAKS) No, you gotta go to McGruder.

No, no, no, no, no, we gotta go to McGruder. I go where the truck goes. No. To get to McGruder, you have to go through Missoula,

and I ain't going through Missoula. No way. We're going to McGruder.

I ain't going through Missoula! Am I missing something here?

Look, I kinda borrowed the truck from Andy. "Borrowed?" Yeah, borrowed!

You stole this truck. You stole this truck! I did not steal this truck. You stole this truck. That's what all the bullshit about the cash was, wasn't it?

You stole this truck, and now you're trying to sell the ice cream for money. I didn't steal the truck! He owed it to me! Anyway,

the important thing is I'm not going through Missoula. Look, I don't give a sh*t if you go through Missoula at 100 miles an hour,

we're going to McGruder. Remember, I still have this. Yeah, that's what I thought.

ARLO:
I'm about to get in your ass like last year's underwear, man. MASON: That's fine. Whatever. ARLO: I ain't playing now. MASON: Whatever.

(GRUNTS)

Hey. We can't push old Pete in this heat. He can't take it.

Fine. (EXHALES)

You better speed old Pete up.

Pull over!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(BOTH WHOOPING)

Holy sh*t. Goddamn. Okay, okay.

Oh, one of them is in the back. No, no, no, no, no. Keep going.

(GRUNTS) You're not going back there! Shut up!

Take your gun! Doesn't work. What? Doesn't work. It's not even loaded. You mean to tell me you hijacked me with an empty gun?

Yeah. Hey. When this is all over, remind me to kick your ass!

(GRUNTS)

Looks like our share just got bigger. Oh!

(GRUNTS)

(SCREAMS)

(SHOUTS) (BOTH GRUNTING)

(CAR HONKING)

(SCREAMS)

(GRUNTS)

Oh, sh*t. Oh, sh*t. (SCREAMING)

No! Oh, sh*t. (SCREAMS)

Get him to stand up, Night Shift. Hey!

(SCREAMS)

Okay! All right! (GRUNTS)

(PANTING)

So you're sure it was Mason? Positive. He came out of the store with the ice cream guy.

The men from the base, they took off right after them. Thank you. You're welcome. Thanks.

Must've happened right after we left. Missoula's reporting a refrigerator truck as a stolen vehicle.

I told you Mason was walking sh*t. Pappas, that other guy was unloading ice cream into a freezer. Now what could he have to do with a military scientist, huh?

The sooner you get up to the lab, the sooner you'll figure it out. And where are you going?

After that refrigerator truck. (CAR ENGINE STARTS) (TIRES SCREECHING)

(GRUNTS) (PANTING)

Elvis is on ice again. Okay. Nice job back there.

Hey, don't give me that "Nice job" sh*t, man. They still got a vanload coming and what do you got besides an empty gun?

I was thanking you, a**hole. Kiss my ass! (PANTING)

(DIALS PHONE) (PHONE KEYPAD BEEPING) It's going through.

OPERATOR:
911 Emergency. Please hold. You gotta... They put me on hold. Probably 'cause they know a psycho when they hear one.

No, I'm not the psycho. Hey, take a look at your situation and reconsider that statement there, Night Shift. You're a psycho and a hijacker.

Hey, the gun was empty. Every time I look at you, I wanna hit you. You wanna hit me? I'm a peaceful man.

I believe in live and let live. You stole the truck to uphold your principles, right? I did not steal the truck. It was owed to me. (BEEPING)

You stole the damn truck! Shut up, shut up. It's beeping. Well, that means it's call waiting. You snatch that phone... Hey! Hey!

Andy's Ice-Cream. BRYNNER: Beautiful citizens. You have something which I have waited years for.

Give it to me now, or you'll be dead within five minutes. It's for you.

Yeah. Contrary to what Dr. Long may have told you, this is neither your concern, nor your fight.

Relinquish the package and you can go. I don't know what the hell you're talking about. What he say?

BRYNNER:
Don't be tedious. Dr. Long called it Elvis.

You have no idea what you're in possession of, do you? Listen, shithead.

I got $3,000 of highly perishable ice-cream product that tastes bad enough when it's frozen.

Just give me Elvis and I'll make sure you have enough money for a dozen ice-cream trucks. I don't ever wanna see another ice-cream truck!

Give me the goddamn phone. Talk to me. I want you to look at one another and ask a simple question.

Are you actually prepared to die for a country that's never done a thing for you?

Because if you don't give me that cylinder, your lives will end on this miserable road to nowhere.

And I can't guarantee the end will be quick. Elvis is f***ing dead, man.

Get yourself some CDs.

Vaughn, get the M79 ready. You can't fire on them.

You're gonna detonate the crystals. Prep the launcher now. Now! (TIRES SCREECHING)

(WHIRRING) (GUN FIRES) (EXPLODES)

(PANTING) Oh, sh*t.

Your move. Okay, Vaughn. You drive.

MASON:
Hey, hey, hey, stop! Stop this car! Whoa! My God! Whoa! Whoa!

(CREAKING) Whoa! Holy sh*t, man! Oh, sh*t. Back up, back up.

Come on, Pete. Come on! There it is, old Pete, come on, baby!

You got it, you got it. Go, go, go, go, got it, got it, got it.

(GRUNTING) F***! (PANTING) Oh, oh, sh*t.

Oh, we're screwed, Night Shift. You just bend over and kiss your crazy ass goodbye, buddy.

I think we can make it. You think we can make what? You see that truck?

Eight and a half feet wide, weighs over five tons! Hey, and what if we don't make it? Your weedkiller on steroids goes down with us,

everybody dies! I don't think we have much of a choice, do we?

Oh, sh*t. Move! Oh, sh*t.

Okay. (ENGINE FAILING)

Un-be-f***ing-lievable. Oh! old Pete! Oh!

Oh, please, please, please, don't do this to me. Okay. (WINCES)

Okay, okay!

I should have had that dog bite me. I would have got rabies. Could have went to the hospital. Had a pretty nurse. (ENGINE STARTING) Hey, hey, whoo!

Okay. Go, go, go. Oh, sh*t.

Come on, old Pete, come on! Come on, old Pete.

Oh, man. I'm going, I'm going, baby. I'm going, I'm going. Easy, easy, easy.

Half left! Right! Get over, get over! (CREAKING)

Come on. Oh, sh*t. Come on, old Pete!

Come on. Come on, old Pete. I know the likelihood of you knowing any prayers is slim, Night Shift,

but you might wanna give it a try.

Come on, come on, old Pete. Come on. (TIRES SPINNING) Oh!

Come on, you crazy bastard.

MASON:
All right, you got it, you got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. Go, go, go, go, go.

Whoo! Whoo! I made it! I made it! (SHOUTING) What are you talking about? I'm the one driving!

(GUNSHOTS FIRED) (SCREAMING) (GRUNTS)

Oh. You okay? What the f*** was that?

See, you gotta pass him. Gee, you think so? (HORN HONKING)

Okay, that didn't work. Gee, you think so? Shut up! Here we go.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, my God. No, no. (SCREAMING) (HORN HONKING) OP, OP. (TIRES SCREECHING)

(SCREAMING) Ho! (CRASHING)

(GLASS SHATTERS) (GRUNTING)

Go on. Go, go. (PANTING)

Old Pete! Oh, sh*t! Oh, sh*t!

(SCREAMS) Oh, sh*t! Oh, shoot! Oh, shoot!

Okay, okay. Okay. All right. Okay.

Give me that, give me that, give me that. Okay. These will keep it cold. Yeah, yeah. (WHISPERS) Oh, sh*t. All right.

Okay. Let's go. Okay, all right, okay.

Hey, put it back. Take it all. Sh*t!

Hey, wait, wait, wait. I got an idea. Hey, what's going on here? You guys all right?

Stay back! (GASPS) Stay back, I'm taking your boat. Listen to him. You don't know who you're dealing with.

I'm a dangerous man. He's a dangerous man! He's crazy! I'm crazy?

I'm crazy! What are you doing? Taking it downhill. What?

You're not taking... You're crazy! I ain't getting in the damn thing. Stay here. Oh, sh*t.

Okay. Come on. (GRUNTING) (TIRES SCREECHING)

(THUDS)

Oh, hell no! (ECHOES)

I want you to come anyway. What? Come on. Oh, sh*t.

Oh, sh*t. Oh, sh*t. (GRUNTS) Come on.

Whoa! Oh, my God.

Holy... (SCREAMING)

Mama!

(PANTING) (CREAKING)

(SCREAMING) Don't let go. Don't let go. Don't let go.

Don't let... Be still. (CREAKING)

Okay. (SCREAMING)

Oh, sh*t! Oh, no. Backwards! (SCREAMING)

(SPLASHING)

Ah! Ah! Whoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo-hoo! (GRUNTS)

All right. Hey. (GRUNTS) (YELLING) (LAUGHING)

Whoo-hoo-hoo! (BOTH SCREAMING) Are you crazy? Take the boat?

There's nothing in here, sir. He got away with it. All right. Let's clear the mess and move out.

Uh-oh. What? Thing just went up a degree. Ice cream is not working.

This river's fed by a glacier. I'm willing to bet my life it's a good deal under 50 degrees. What do you think?

(LAUGHS) Worth a try. (GRUNTS)

Hey, you didn't happen to lock the truck up when you got out, did you? You're f***ed, man.

See, now why would you do that to a man in my position? Hey, I didn't steal the truck. You stole the truck. Hey, I told you. I did not steal that truck.

Andy owed me a lot more than that four-wheeled piece of sh*t was worth. Won't even start half the time. You know what I'm saying?

I deserve a lot more than that truck. Ten years, 10 years I busted my ass for that fat rat bastard.

And he swore, he swore once I got a degree, there'd be a sales rep desk with my name on it.

But every time something opened up, there'd be some idiot cousin or... Nephew or some good old boy

just ready to just slide in right in there. What about me, huh? What about me, huh? What about Arlo? What about my needs?

You know, I got student loans. Overdrawn bank account. Nobody looking out for my interest.

My credit was f***ed! And then when he promoted Sam over me, I just snapped.

So I split.

So you took his truck. So I took his truck, yeah. This river ends at a hydro dam in Missoula.

All we need to do is get to Mason before anyone else does.

Carl, Dennis, get out of sight.

Officer Pappas, I'm glad you're here. Mind if you tell me what's going on? Colonel Brynner, U.S. Special Operations commander out of Fort Bragg.

We were called in by the Jerome base to pursue a man who's stolen government property. Right, Tim Mason. You know the suspect?

Yeah, he's wanted in connection with a death this morning at the Jerome General Store. Richard Long. That's right.

Long went missing from the tech center this morning along with a very dangerous chemical weapon, Deputy.

I'd deeply appreciate your assistance on this. Who knows? Might even put some more gold on that collar of yours.

Four years ago, I was a split end with Kentucky State. We were nationally ranked.

How wonderful for you. Started every game our senior year. Not All-American or anything, but not bad.

Anyway, the real star was my best friend. Quarterback, got taken in the first round.

Robert del Rio? Yeah, Robert del Rio. Yeah, I remember him. Car crash or something.

We were celebrating after the draft. Going from bar to bar.

I was driving. Then I put the car into a ditch.

Spent 18 weeks in the hospital. He's never gonna throw a ball in the pros.

(SIGHS) Couldn't deal with it. So I split.

And things sort of just went downhill from there. Anyway, about 10 months ago,

wound up in Jerome working for Darlene. Well, sh*t.

Could be worse. I mean, we're both up sh*t's creek, but at least we have a paddle.

We got two paddles. (LAUGHING) (HELICOPTER FLYING OVERHEAD)

MAN:
Incoming. Make room. Is the facility secure? Yes, sir, Colonel, there's four dead but the security video's clean.

It's a patched-in feed. It's probably a loop.

Deputy? Deputy, I'm Colonel Vitelli. I'm on special assignment. Deputy Art Lewis, Jerome County Sheriff's department.

I don't suppose you'd like to tell me what this is all about. I will tell you what I can, Deputy. Colonel Vitelli? We got a busted-in cold vault inside.

Is it... Looks like it, yes, sir. Alert 75th rangers, code blue.

Tell them Elvis has left the building. What the hell are you talking about, Colonel? You ID the bodies? They were all wearing hardware. Any of them Richard Long? No, sir.

I've got Dr. Long's body down at the coroner's office. One of our units is pursuing the suspect up the 35.

Who's your suspect? A man named Tim Mason. Run a check, FBI, Interpol. Yes, sir.

If you're right, Lewis, this Mason is one hell of a pro. He must have a service record and a paper trail somewhere. Mason? No, he's a soda jerk drifter.

A hamburger flipper. It could be a cover, I suppose. Whoever did this is a man who knows his business.

MASON:
Listen, Arlo. Whatever it's worth, I'm sorry I dragged you into this sh*t.

To tell you the truth, you didn't. Not completely, anyway.

If that gun was loaded, I didn't buy you as a shooter. Your friend, Long,

something about that look in his eye when he talked about that Elvis sh*t. Well, all the same,

if we get to Missoula, help me find a car, I'd appreciate it, then,

you can split. Split? I wouldn't get 10 miles. Like I said, I got a pretty good idea of what's at stake here.

We need to finish this, Night Shift. Hang on to your ass, Missoula! Arlo's back!

And he's bringing The King. Whoo! (ECHOES)

Damn!

(DOOR OPENS) (BELL JINGLES)

ANDY:
Hey, Arlo. (SIGHS)

Well, that just about figures for the day. So...

Where's my truck? It's, uh, parked just off of Highway 35.

I did what I could for you, Arlo. And you screwed me for it. Now where's my goddamn truck?

I ain't got time to argue with you today, Andy. But I can tell you this.

Taking your truck pissed you off, huh? You're gonna be real mad when I take the pick-up.

(BLOWS) Hmm. And so Missoula's prodigal son returns.

(PHONE RINGS) (BEEPS) Hello. BRYNNER: I got someone who's anxious to talk to you, Mr. Mason.

I urge you to be persuasive. This country trained me to kill...

Without compunction.

Well, well, well. Funny situation, ain't it, Andy? Three seconds. One...

You gotta help me, Arlo. Two! Get that tub of sh*t, Sam, to help you. Look, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you.

Whatever you want, please! Gentlemen, I have never been known for my patience. Arlo!

Arlo. All right, all right, hey, hey. Hey.

Mason. Yeah. ARLO: Looks like you gotta cut a deal with this a**hole. I know it is nice to see Andy squirm.

I don't want his brains all over my shirt. Or my conscience. And you owe me, man.

Yeah, I know, I know. You still there, Mr. Mason?

Yeah, I'm listening. BRYNNER: Then meet me at the dam in 15 minutes. And be intelligent about this. Tricks will cost lives.

(DOOR OPENS)

LONG:
Create a piece of bait that sends the fishes' instincts into overdrive, forcing it to strike.

Everything all right, son? Yeah, just... Trying to remember something someone once told me about tying a fly.

LONG:
And only then does our noble friend realize that the prey can fight back. Let me have those.

(BEEPING) Sir?

I think you should take a look at this. Judging by the signature pulse and velocity,

helicopters. Maybe 15 minutes. Rangers. It was only a matter of time.

Of which we have more than enough.

All right, listen up. Stay sharp. Now this is the guy we're looking for. His name is Tim Mason.

Now he's got the acrylic container. Do we know what's inside? We don't need to know. Let's just get it back, all right?

(CHATTERING) (CHILDREN SCREAMING)

I don't see my container. You try anything, it does in the river.

It's a little late for matinee heroics, Mason. Just give me the container. Where's Arlo?

Bring him here. ARLO: My God, you ain't nothin' without the pants.

Bring him down!

Your fellow hero, untouched and unharmed, despite the mouth.

Him, first.

Run!

Down! (SCREAMS)

(BEEPING) Rangers. Let's go.

(GRUNTS) You should have taken the money.

Bullshit, you would have killed us anyway. (SIGHS)

Sh*t. Just when we have all the cards, Vaughn.

These two behind the van. Move! Move!

I've got the container. Bring it in hot! That's not Mason. Doesn't matter who he is. We're going in!

(YELLING) (GRUNTS)

Go, go!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Are you all right? (PANTING) BRYNNER: That's far enough, gentlemen.

You know who I am? Gas masks. Gas masks, gas masks? The men on Horn Island had gas masks.

Where the f*** is Horn Island? Was. Horn Island was.

Listen, Arlo. Ah! Hey! Shut your mouth.

Do you know what'll happen if I drop this?

Brynner. Well, Lieutenant Vitelli! Good to see you again, Leo.

Pleasant surprise. I can't say it's a surprise. And I certainly can't say it's pleasant.

As soon as I heard Elvis was on the loose, you came to mind. I checked your release date.

I never liked coincidences. And I don't like deviations from plans, Leo, I'm sure you remember.

Colonel, sir, who the hell is this guy? He was Major Andrew Brynner.

We did two tours together in Vietnam. Until he got busted down to nursemaiding scientists.

Yeah, I had a small problem with members of our side murdering civilians.

But I assure you, Leo, I lost all my squeamishness at Leavenworth.

I'll have no compunction at all about using this.

Hmm. The wind's northwest. That oughta be Seattle. Or I may be wrong. The breeze could be gusting south.

That'd be Billings, maybe even Salt Lake, not to mention Casper, Destry, Fair Oaks...

Knowing you, Brynner, you've got buyers waiting to buy. You're not gonna use that here.

I'm warning you, Leo. Don't test me. Get your men and your machines off my radar screen in five,

or 3,000,000 people will die. I'll do it.

Tell the choppers we're lifting off! Excuse me, sir? Your colonel's given you a wise order, soldier.

It's not over, Brynner.

Sir, we can't just let him get away with this! Gomez, you fight the battles you can win. Now, we've been outmaneuvered here.

Brynner's next move is gonna be to get Elvis out of the country and sell him to the highest bidder. To do that, he has to have planned an exit point.

That's where we intercept him. That's where we make our play. Now you and your men back off.

All right, let's move out!

They're takin' off. They're leaving. Huh? (GRUNTS)

Dennis, get your links set up. I wanna patch in from here.

What about these two? We're gonna use them for demonstration footage. Having witnessed the effects myself,

I can assure you it'll be very useful when the bidding starts. Get 'em in the middle of the dam. Sir.

Up! Taipei is on-line. Geneva's comin' up, and we should have Karachi and Kabul in a couple of minutes.

All right. Tell the pilot we'll be a half-hour. Carl! Set up the camera.

Dennis, we will open the bidding at $100,000,000.

(PANTING, GRUNTING)

It won't be long, gentlemen.

And it won't be pleasant. But such is the price...

Of patriotism. Vaughn.

Hey! (SHOUTING) Hey! Dude, shut up! We're gonna die! Arlo, shut up!

Everybody's linked up. All right. Clear the area.

We're gonna die! We're gonna die! Hey, hey, hey. Put your hand in my pants.

What? We're gonna die, and you want me to do some freaky sh*t, Night Shift? Arlo! Arlo. Reach into my pocket.

Okay. Okay. Come on! Oh! Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay. All right. Okay.

Good! (GRUNTS) (INDISTINCT MURMURING)

Okay, great! Arlo! ARLO: I'm sorry! I'm just a little stressed. Little stressed!

I'm on it. Stay put. Keep the camera trained on them.

Bound or loose, their deaths will be equally effective and inevitable. Sir, I got Taipei grindin' on me here.

How long is this supposed to ta... MASON: I borrowed a truck. ARLO: Oh, you borrowed? But I stole the truck, and you borrowed?

Geneva just pulled the plug. Kabul is out. Okay, all right. Come on! (GRUNTS)

Pakistan says they'll be back tomorrow. And Taipei just went offline, sir. Hmm. Go.

Go, go, go! You just can't leave that stuff with that lunatic.

That's why I didn't give it to him. What? You got Elvis? Sometimes, the prey bites back.

Go! (LAUGHS)

Hang on!

Whoo!

Ah, sh*t! Would you be more careful? Okay. Okay.

BRYNNER:
Positions. We're taking up the hunt. Come on, Brynner. It's over. Nobody said anything about goin' up against Rangers.

Besides, how are we gonna sell something we don't have? Nothing has changed, I assure you both. The Army still thinks we got Elvis. They made a tactical withdrawal.

It's just those two amateurs now. Do you really wanna concede $100,000,000 to them?

(HORN HONKING) (TIRES SCREECHING) (CAR HORN BLARING)

Carl, establish contact with that deputy we met earlier. He'll be most useful now.

We need more ice! All right, there's a service station on the other end of the Northridge Tunnel. They'll have ice.

MASON:
Oh, f***! Forty-five seven! Oh, sh*t. Come on, come on, come on. (CELL PHONE BEEPS)

Come here. What's goin' on, Colonel? All right, this is what I want you to do. The Ranger units in McGruder have got

the local airports covered, sir. The Pentagon's covering the international traffic. Good. Gomez, I want two birds back to Missoula.

I wanna rendezvous here, approach from the southwest. Yes, sir. Let's do it!

Colonel, you've got to tell Mason. Patch through from McGruder.

This is Vitelli. Is that you, Mason? Yeah, yeah, yeah! Colonel, listen, I've got Elvis!

I've got the real thing! We! We've got Elvis. What? Say again, Mason. What we gave Brynner on the dam was a phony!

We've got the real thing! Where are you now, Mason? I'm at mile marker 62, heading west on 35.

Here they come! And Brynner's right on our ass!

He's coming up fast!

Hit him. Oh, damn it!

Hit him again. (GRUNTS)

VITELLI:
We've gotta take out Brynner's van before they reach that tunnel. Get ready to take it out!

Okay, here comes the tunnel! (PANTING) Tunnel!

Do it now. Hit it now!

(BOTH CHEERING) VITELLI: All right, good. Head for the other end of the tunnel.

I'll stay here and secure this position.

Forty-seven. You'd better floor it. What do you think I'm doing? It's a damn postal truck!

What the hell? What the... You've gotta be kidding me!

Let me see your hands! (GRUNTS) Pappas! Move the car! Move the car, please!

Unbe-f***ing-lievable. I said let me see your hands, now! You redneck idiot, do you have any idea what's goin' on here?

Yeah, a**hole. I'm puttin' a murder suspect and a guy who stole a truck under arrest. Now raise 'em!

Let me put it in easy terms, Aristotle. We are carrying a damn bomb

that is going to explode if we don't get out of this tunnel!

No sign of 'em, Colonel.

(CELL PHONE RINGING) (GRUNTS) Yeah? Mason, what is the temperature of Elvis?

Forty-seven. If you're not out of there soon, I have got to seal the tunnel.

God! They're gonna seal it. Well, why don't they talk to the sage of Jerome here? What the hell's a sage?

Listen, Pappas, there's a colonel on the other end of this phone. His name's Vitelli. Talk to him.

He's right outside. What happened to Colonel Brynner? (SIGHS) Listen, Deputy...

He's the dude the Army guys are looking for! Bullshit. Put the phone down, Mason.

I've had enough of the both of ya. Wait, listen to me, Pappas. If you don't let us by, we're all gonna die in this tunnel, now!

Go check the temperature. Don't move!

Shoot me. MASON:
(PANTING) What's it say?

Forty-nine point four. It says 49. Forty-nine?

GOMEZ:
Colonel, we gotta seal that tunnel. Colonel!

Night Shift, it's melting, man. What? (SIGHS) Oh, sh*t.

VITELLI:
Mason! Mason! Yeah. It's too late, Mason. I've gotta seal it. (SIGHS)

Right. All right, we're gonna seal that tunnel! I want it air-tight!

(PEOPLE SCREAMING) What the hell was that?

It's the Army, sealin' us in. Jesus. What the hell is goin' on? All I had to do

was get it on ice. Now it's over! Kiss your ass goodbye, Pappas!

Ice? You want ice? I got a whole case of beer back here in the car... You're kidding me! ...floatin' in the stuff.

Nail it up. Okay. (SHOUTING) We got ice! What? Say again, Mason. I can barely hear you.

We've got it on ice! We've got Elvis on ice! Hold it!

Okay!

We're too late. Oh... Too late...

(PANTING) Sh*t. Oh, damn it.

MASON:
It's workin'. What? What? It's workin'.

We gotta get out of here! Vitelli! Vitelli! Can we get out on your end of the tunnel? Negative! Negative! There's ammo fire from Brynner's vehicle.

He must've had a damned arsenal in there. Well, hell, the smoke's gonna kill us anyway! There's gotta be another way out of here.

Hold this.

Sorry. I think I've found a way out. There's a vent shaft leading straight up.

Okay, I'll have a chopper meet you at the top. MASON: All right. I'll lead 'em out. You sure? Yeah, I'm sure.

MASON:
All right, go. Follow me. Come on, let's go! That's it. Hang on, hang on.

Let's go! Go! Got it? CHILD: I'm up. Come on, darlin'. I got ya.

Arlo, I'm gonna get Elvis. You go. They'll meet you at the top. Okay.

Come on, big guy. (COUGHS)

(COUGHS) Faster.

Come on, Night Shift.

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

No... Where's Elvis?

Dead, last time I checked.

Kill him now. VAUGHN: Oh, don't worry. I'm a professional.

This won't hurt a bit. Well, I'm an amateur. (GRUNTS) And this is gonna hurt like hell.

(BRYNNER GRUNTS)

(MASON GROANS)

Come on! SOLDIER: Go!

All right, go, go! All right. All right, just going over there with your hands.

Is Elvis out? GOMEZ: Negative. Negative. (BOTH GRUNTING)

(GRUNTS)

Why? You're a nothing, nobody! Why? You'd never understand! I would've in another life.

They took that life away and left me with nothing. But now I have it all. (BLOWS)

(GROANS)

MASON:
What'd you come back for? ARLO: Why'd you stay behind?

(MASON GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) Elvis is still in there! It's gonna go off!

Now! Seal that tunnel, now!

(EXPLOSION) (PEOPLE SCREAMING)

Do you need some help getting in the ambulance? No, thanks.

(SIGHS) Well... You know, we saved half a million people from a full-body peel.

(CHUCKLES) We're the sh*t. Big time. They aren't exactly gonna publicize this, Arlo.

Hey, hey, hey. We are heroes, my man. It's time to start acting like it. Quit limpin' around like that.

Excuse me, I got a bullet in my leg. Always the negative with you. All right, gentlemen. We're about done here.

Fine job. Thank you. Your country and a lot of innocent people in it owe you.

Us. Owe us. You did help a little. Who drove the ice-cream truck that kept Elvis cool?

Who had to put a gun to your head? Who put the big hurt on that Army nut job to save your narrow butt?

You, Arlo. Hello. You. Right. You damn skippy, and now that I am both jobless and truckless

in the service of my country, I feel that my government owes me a little restitution. Us. Owes us. I'll handle it from here, sweet dick.

Owes us a little restitution. We do have to take into consideration that, through your courage

and selfless actions, you did save millions of lives. Exactly. However,

you are also non-enlisted personnel with detailed knowledge of classified secrets falling under the National Security Act.

In order to protect those secrets, I am authorized to fine you, imprison you, to take any extreme measures I deem necessary...

Including the permanently extreme.

I'd say we're about even. Patriotism is its own reward. Yeah. I think so, too. MASON: Thank you. ARLO: Thank you very much.

What about all that "no need to get in the man's face" crap? I was not in the man's face. I was negotiating. Look. That's negotiating? He threatened to kill us.

But he didn't. See, that's negotiation. No, that's bullshit.

Bullshit, yeah. (SIGHS) Well,

if we're not gonna be famous, at least this'll be a great story to tell some ladies in a bar or somethin'. Arlo, nobody's gonna believe us.

Nobody's even gonna know this happened, except for the people that were here, the Army, you and me, and... You shouldn't be walking on that.

Hello, somebody. Heard you saved a lot of lives. The Army said it was a terrorist bomb.

Oh! I feel faint. Oh... Oh... ALL: (OVERLAPPING) Oh... Oh. Oh, you got me? You got me? I got you.

You got me? Yeah, I got you. You know, it's very hush-hush, as we say in the spy game.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. ARLO: It all started with our mission in Istanbul. MASON: Yeah. ARLO: I was undercover as a tennis player.

My code name was Blackjack. Night Shift was my coach. I'm sorry, Mason was my coach.

He handled the rackets, and I carried the balls. (WOMAN LAUGHS)

Because, that was, uh, that was my mission.

MASON:
He was using big balls.

ARLO:
That's right. Ooh! That's it. Just grab... Just put your arm... Don't be afraid. You got a nice, strong grip for a woman.

Yes, you do.

WOMAN:
Be careful.

WOMAN 2:
Ooh!

ARLO:
Yes, and, uh... That's a wonderful, wonderful walkie-talkie you got there.

WOMAN 2:
Oh, thank you.

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