Charlie Bartlett
AUDIENCE:
Charlie! Charlie!Charlie! Charlie!
Charlie! Charlie! Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!
(CROWD ROARS)
Thank you! Thank you very much!
Thank you!
How you all doing tonight?
It's great to see all of you here.
My name is Charlie Bartlett!
AUDlENCE:
Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!STUDENT:
Charlie, Charlie!Charlie!
Your mom's here.
She's in the dean's office.
Good luck, Charlie. Stay out of trouble.
MARlL YN:
I'm not sure I understand,Is it his grades?
No, Mrs. Bartlett, it's not his grades
and it's not his attendance.
Look, quite frankly, he is one of
our brightest boys here at school,
albeit, unusual.
Well, I'm just not sure
why he must be expelled, then.
Well, this might shed some light.
You're expelling him
for making a driver's license?
He's been running a laminating press
from inside his dorm room,
and he has been selling them
to the other students.
You have to admit,
they look pretty authentic.
Look, Mrs. Bartlett, to be honest,
I think he has a lot of potential.
He's innovative, he's intelligent.
He's obviously highly motivated.
Perhaps this would be
a good time for an endowment.
No. Mrs. Bartlett, what he did was illegal
and we can't overlook that.
-Okay.
-Okay.
-I understand.
-Good.
Are you mad?
You know, I'm not.
I just can't fathom why you did it.
It's not like you needed the money.
I mean, really, Charlie, what would
your father say if he were here?
Mom, they were just starting
to appreciate me.
You know, I was the guy
Well, maybe there's more
to high school than being well liked.
Like what, specifically?
Nothing comes to mind.
I guess now we try you living at home
I even kept your room
exactly the way you left it.
Hey, Mom, have you been feeding my fish?
Oh, dear.
the bus in tomorrow.
Really? I was going to have
Thomas drive you.
I know, but I don't think anybody else
is going to show up with a chauffeur.
You're probably right.
-Have you taken your Klonopin today?
-I haven't.
-Where do you suppose I put that?
-Probably in your purse.
There you are.
What would I do without you, Charlie?
(SlNGlNG) And we knew who we were then
Girls were girls and men were men
Mister, we could use a man
Those were the days
Well, it's wonderful
to have you back, Charlie.
Thanks, Mom. I missed you, too.
(ROCK MUSlC BLARlNG)
Are you kidding me? Suzy Q!
(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR)
What? Come in.
Hi. Volume. Thank you.
Hold on, The Principal is here.
What do you want, Dad?
Why do you call me The Principal
when you're talking to your friends?
Pretending to have contempt for you
gives me a certain amount of cred,
if you can understand that.
No, no, no.
Okay, what do you want?
-I wanna say hi.
-Hi.
Fresh crack rock.
-God, it's called rock candy.
-That was a joke.
I was eating it decades before
you were even conceived.
I'll be in my office.
-Love you.
-Love you. Bye.
(DlALlNG)
ANSWERlNG MACHlNE:
You have two new messages,
SEDGWlCK:
Nathan, I think it might bea good idea ifI'm there
when you break the news
about installing cameras to the kids
so the announcement is taken,
you know, seriously,
ANSWERlNG MA CHlNE: Next message,
WOMAN:
Nathan, it's me,I'm wondering why Susan
hasn 't been returning my calls,
Is it of no consequence to you
whether she has a relationship
with her mother, you f***,,,
(MA CHlNE BEEPS)
DRlVER:
I think you got the wrong bus.Western Summit High School, right?
Okay.
Hi, I'm Charlie.
Hi, Charlie. I'm Len.
Good to meet you, Len.
It's good to meet you, Charlie.
Thank you.
There's just no point
in cause unnecessary trouble
(GlRLS GlGGLlNG)
Nice tie, homie.
Killer roach, bro.
Move out of the way! Get out!
(BELL RlNGlNG)
There's just no point
in cause unnecessary trouble
Just make sure you cause trouble
when it's necessary
There's just no point
in cause unnecessary trouble
They didn't give you a locker
in the teachers' lounge?
Oh, I'm not a teacher.
You sure look like a teacher.
Okay, everyone, last chance to sign up.
The auditions are today
and will be held at 4:00
and everybody's welcome.
Yeah. And for everyone who doesn't know,
this year we're doing Henry V,
SUSAN:
And it's Shakespeare, so feel freeto read for a role of the opposite sex.
See you at 4:
00, professor.Dense f***ing nug, man.
Sh*t, why are you looking at it like that?
You're gonna buy it.
Just f***ing buy it.
Hi, I'm Charlie.
What's that? Is that a briefcase?
Actually, I believe it's an attach case.
What's that thing on your jacket mean?
Oh, this?
Cor ad cor loquitur, It's in Latin.
I think the translation is,
"Heart speaks to heart,"
but I may be wrong.
Is he, like, a total f*ggot or what? Shut up.
Is that a rhetorical question?
Guess not.
F*** him up!
F***, yeah!
(GURGLlNG)
Guess what?
I think you like that, you little b*tch.
How do you like that, you little b*tch?
(GRUNTlNG)
GARDNER:
No smokes! Cigarettes out!(COUGHlNG)
What have we here?
Nothing. We're just messing around.
Mr. Bivens, Mr...
You, get to class. Now. Let's go.
(WHlSPERlNG) Later, homo.
You okay?
Yeah.
I'm so sick of my parents.
Like, honestly, I'm 17.
I don't see what the big deal is.
I mean, it's just a hole.
I mean, what does my mom care
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"Charlie Bartlett" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 26 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/charlie_bartlett_5321>.
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