Chalk It Up Page #3

---

- Oh, Emily.

- Apple.

- Emily.

How are you?

This is Tanya

my wedding coordinator.

We're mapping out seating

on the quad.

- We know each other.

- She has me on retainer.

- Ooh.

- Can't wait for yours.

Todd moved to Oxford.

What?

Besties.

English wedding are divine.

And, left apple here.

Oh, honey.

No, no, it's fine.

It's fine. And I've got

a meeting to run to.

- Okay.

- Of course you do.

- Bye-bye.

- That's it, honey.

Make a new life for yourself.

Maybe I shouldn't have

said anything.

- Although your presentation is...

- Impeccable.

Disturbingly informative,

I can't just form a varsity

team out of thin air.

But you have a gym

just sitting on campus unused.

Plus, it says here

in the NCAA manual,

that once the gymnastics roster

is certified eligible,

the rugby team

can be back on the field.

Bing, bang, done.

I'm sorry. What is your

interest in this again?

Mr. Kelly...

- May I call you Preston?

- No.

We both know that rugby alumni

make up the second

largest donation pool

at $255,692 a year.

Are you really willing

to give up all those donors

just because you're not adhering

to title 9?

How would, how do you know the,

just the exact amount?

Your firewall is junk.

I hacked it...

I found it in seconds.

Look, these are the

simple steps to success.

Okay.

Recruit a team.

Certify eligibility.

Practice.

Compete.

All you have to do

is allow me to start

the women's gymnastics team.

No.

I want you to go.

No, he said absolutely not

in no way would he allow me

to mar his athletic legacy

with harebrained idea like this.

- So it's a maybe.

- Totally.

- On to plan b?

- Yay! I love plan b.

All right,

we start with recruiting.

Should be easy. There's got to

be lots of gymnasts at Greene.

There are no gymnasts at Greene.

But we found 12 former

gymnasts in the database.

I know.

I talked to all of them.

Only Emily said

she would on the team

if I agreed

to hand tie 600 ribbons

on her wedding invitations.

One even told me that I

didn't deserve to be here.

It's like

she channeled my mother.

Oh, BT-Dubbs,

your mother called.

- Yeah, how long?

- 15 seconds.

She said she was wondering

if you had any potentials yet.

- For the gymnastics team?

- Husbands.

Oh, and she wanted

to remind you to,

"get off your duff

and find a boyfriend already."

- Stakeout training?

- Yep.

I need to practice being

statue still for hours on end.

My roommate in the CIA.

Oh, speaking of which.

Greene students are busy.

I think you should do

what the CIA does...

Kill people.

No, you lunatic.

When they can't find an

agent they make one.

I don't know anyone in robotics.

No, like, ah...

Find people with

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes