Celtic Pride Page #5

But I guess for the Celtics, the

leprechauns have left the building.

Fans like you make me sick.

You love us when we win

and hate us when we lose.

It's pathetic. You should learn

something about loyalty.

Fans like these, you can have 'em.

Who needs his lanky ass anyway?

- He was overrated as a player.

- Yeah, he wasn't really that great.

- Yeah, he sucked.

- Sucked.

- Where are our drinks?

- Right away.

We were at the game

when Seton Hall beat Boston College.

- Get out of here.

- We were there.

You pulled a triple-double, 42 points,

- It was a bad day for me.

- Kicked our ass.

- That's Lewis Scott, the ass-kicker.

- I've still got the ticket.

Here's to you. Oh, boy.

There you go!

Keep 'em coming!

- Get it down!

- Right down there!

Let's play "invent-a-drink".

The first drink

I'm going to make is called...

Lewis Scott!

-Jimmy's got one.

- This one is called "Jimmy's dick".

It's short...fat...

But it fills the gap.

This one is called

"The Boston Celtics".

- It's weak, 'cause it's white.

- That's funny.

For the ladies,

always the added touch.

That's it. Drink it all up!

The night's not over. I know this

after-hours bar we can take him to.

No, no. I couldn't.

I gotta go to practice in the morning.

I'd love to stay and throw up.

But I got to beat

these sons of b*tches.

Hear that, Boston?

I'm gonna kick your ass!

- Lightweight.

- He can't even hold his liquor.

Let's get him a cab.

I'm not a hero, I'm a plumber.

If your septic tank is backing up,

your hot water takes a leak,

your air cooler won't work,

well, call me.

Because I am not a hero.

I am a plumber.

Plumber...

Oh, God! Jimmy!

Lewis Scott's in the bed!

- How did he get there?

- I blanked out. What happened?

We must've done it when he passed out.

We kidnapped him.

I did not kidnap anybody!

Scott is duct-taped in my bed

and I don't think he did it himself.

- You wanted to look him in the eye!

- No more hard liquor for me!

- Look, we got to get him out of here.

- I agree.

But first, we have to do something.

- He's gotta wear a hat or something.

- We gotta go!

Put a Celtics hat on the guy.

- Did you call his room again?

- Five minutes ago. He's not there.

Wait five minutes and then call again!

Oh, man!

Wait till the boys see this!

Seventh game of the finals

and he ditches practice!

Grant Hill would have gone to church

and come to practice early.

Watch his head.

We don't need Scott.

Bench him and teach him a lesson.

Yeah. I'll bench my high scorer.

Our fans won't want me too dead.

We just got to get him outside. Then

he can go where the hell he wants.

-Jeez. He's coming to.

-Just relax and enjoy the ride!

FrereJacques, frereJacques

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