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Gosh, I love to... I love to shop.
I mean, no... I love to go camping.
One time this boyfriend|was cheating on me,
and a week later he lost his job,
and then his car got wrecked,
and then a tree fell on his house.
It has to be at least five tattoos
or five piercings. I don't care.
Been sober for six... sixty... six hours.
Yeah, six hours.
I have a lot of cats.
I like sex. I actually do like it.
And I have sex|with guys just for fun.
Although I am from Utah,|so I guess I may be biased
I'm a professional body painter,
so I can do walls and houses.
I used to be Miss Teen USA.
Not the S TD...
Well, the S TD, too, I guess.
Hi, my name is Debbie.
that's funny, smart.
Rich couldn't hurt.
All right.|Thanks for calling, all right?
Is that some sort of new|kind of dating service?
So what did you do?
She's beautiful. I'm like, I have to,
have to talk to this girl.
- What are you doing? Listen...|- This is my job.
- No, no, no. L... I want...|- This is my job.
- I want these.|- It's my job.
I take the trash bag|home, right?
And I call that girl.
I told her, listen,
I wanted her.
What music video?
No. Listen, like I said,|if I really, really have to,
I'll make the frickin' video.
- How?|- With your camera.
Oh, that's if I let you|use my digital camera.
You're not gonna let me use it?
You're running|a fake casting agency
so you can lie to some women|and sleep with them.
That's borderline genius, man.
That's a brilliant idea!
This is the way for...|for you and me
to meet the girl of our dreams.
All we have to do is, like,
and, man, we'll have|a ton of prospects.
I mean, you'll end up|finding your girlfriend.
And we should do it.
Listen, it's like a personal ad.
and now you want me|to lie to them, too.
When the girl really gets|to know you, Richie, okay?
When the girl gets|to really, really know you,
That is meant to be.
Look at this. It's beautiful.
It's amazing. The ad is really working.
Look at... Oh!
These girls are gorgeous, man.
This is disgusting. No. No.
What do you think of this?
I think that you're a psycho.
When you look at these photos, okay?
Her nose, this girl? Look at it.
Looks like a Saint Bernard.
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