Cats & Dogs Page #3

Synopsis: A secret war between cats and dogs quickly peaks as Professor Brody a scientist tries to create a serum to cure dog allergies in humans. As the unsuspecting humans go through their busy lives, the cats make several attempts to possess the formula, as their canine foes try tirelessly to stop them. Caught in the crossfire, a young beagle named Lou, adopted by the Brody family, tries hard to succeed as a secret agent, and in being a friend to the young Scotty Brody. A evil snow white cat named Mr. Tinkles is planning to sabotage the efforts of Professor Brody to discover a cure for human allergies to dogs. And he'll even make every person on Earth allergic to dogs so that he can take over the world with his army of evil cats!
Genre: Action, Comedy, Family
Director(s): Lawrence Guterman
Production: Warner Bros. Pictures
  2 wins & 3 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.1
Metacritic:
47
Rotten Tomatoes:
53%
PG
Year:
2001
87 min
Website
1,184 Views


He's a pro wrestler.|That name's taken.

Then "Doom Machine" it is.

You can call yourself|Squicky the Space Dog for all I care.

That don't make your behind|a rocket pack.

You are not an agent,|but you are going to help us.

So first things first.|Kid, pay attention.

History 101 :

Dogs have always been|man's best friend.

I'm sure even you know that.

But cats, they're another story.

Peek, start with ancient Egypt.

We've seen that 5 billion times.

Okay. Never mind.|Sorry. Here goes.

Ancient Egypt.

See these hieroglyphics?

Humans read them and say that|ancient people worshiped cats.

An evil cat named Shen-Akh-Akumon made|them build pyramids, monuments. . .

. . .and treated them like they|were his litter box.

Things were terrible.

This is the best part.

So the dogs,|being man's best friend, rose up.

And put them down.

With humans being back on top, we|took our natural place at their side.

And the people just forgot?

Remember, they're a very|primitive species.

Can't sense earthquakes, smell fear.

Heck, they can't even take|responsibility for their own farts.

Gross.

Guilty.

I'll get the fence.

That's how our outfit got started.

Sometimes a rogue cat gets too big for|his coat and thinks he can take over.

Our mission's to keep the cats from|the lab until he finishes the formula.

-Anything weird, call us on the collar.|-Yes, sir!

-Any questions?|-Just one, sir.

-Shoot.|-What's ancient Egypt?

Freeze, cat.

I'm an agent.

I'm so fast, I can't see myself.

Agent Doom Machine. That's right.

Watch out, cat.|I couldn't even see it.

There's a good puppy. Hello!

Don't get scared. Don't get scared.

Look how good you're being.|Look how good.

Where's that--? There. I got it.

This won't hurt a bit.

Let's see. Let's see.

Hey, that's good.

-Hey, Dad!|-Boils.

Want to help me practice?

No. No.

I forgot your bow.

Oh, your pretty bow.

When I rule the Earth, you will be the|first. . .

. . .on my list.

Keep your hair like that.|It's slimming.

There's room on that list for you.

No, I mean it.

We only have a few days to succeed.

Although playing pet for that sick old|man upstairs is key to my scheme. . .

. . .I cannot stand this humiliation|any longer. Am I clear?

Never mind.|The puppy won't survive the night.

Send in the ninjas.

Nervous about the tryouts tomorrow?

No.

-It's okay to be nervous.|-I'm not nervous.

I stink, but I'm not nervous.

Is he saying that because|he needs me to reassure him?

Yes. Reassure him.

You're the most wonderful,|great, charming, good looking. . .

. . .boy in the whole wide world.

-Maybe your dad could help you.|-No, I'm pretty sure he stinks too.

Rate this script:5.0 / 3 votes

John Requa

John Requa is an American screenwriter (with Glenn Ficarra) of Cats & Dogs, Bad Santa and the 2005 remake Bad News Bears. The DVD commentary for Bad News Bears revealed that Requa was to have had a bit role in the film, but it was not shot. Requa and Ficcara directed Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor in their screenplay I Love You Phillip Morris. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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