Cats & Dogs Page #3
He's a pro wrestler.|That name's taken.
Then "Doom Machine" it is.
You can call yourself|Squicky the Space Dog for all I care.
That don't make your behind|a rocket pack.
You are not an agent,|but you are going to help us.
So first things first.|Kid, pay attention.
History 101 :
Dogs have always been|man's best friend.
I'm sure even you know that.
But cats, they're another story.
Peek, start with ancient Egypt.
We've seen that 5 billion times.
Okay. Never mind.|Sorry. Here goes.
Ancient Egypt.
See these hieroglyphics?
Humans read them and say that|ancient people worshiped cats.
An evil cat named Shen-Akh-Akumon made|them build pyramids, monuments. . .
. . .and treated them like they|were his litter box.
Things were terrible.
This is the best part.
So the dogs,|being man's best friend, rose up.
And put them down.
With humans being back on top, we|took our natural place at their side.
And the people just forgot?
Remember, they're a very|primitive species.
Can't sense earthquakes, smell fear.
Heck, they can't even take|responsibility for their own farts.
Gross.
Guilty.
I'll get the fence.
That's how our outfit got started.
Sometimes a rogue cat gets too big for|his coat and thinks he can take over.
Our mission's to keep the cats from|the lab until he finishes the formula.
-Anything weird, call us on the collar.|-Yes, sir!
-Any questions?|-Just one, sir.
-Shoot.|-What's ancient Egypt?
Freeze, cat.
I'm an agent.
I'm so fast, I can't see myself.
Agent Doom Machine. That's right.
Watch out, cat.|I couldn't even see it.
There's a good puppy. Hello!
Don't get scared. Don't get scared.
Look how good you're being.|Look how good.
Where's that--? There. I got it.
This won't hurt a bit.
Let's see. Let's see.
Hey, that's good.
-Hey, Dad!|-Boils.
Want to help me practice?
No. No.
I forgot your bow.
Oh, your pretty bow.
When I rule the Earth, you will be the|first. . .
. . .on my list.
Keep your hair like that.|It's slimming.
There's room on that list for you.
No, I mean it.
We only have a few days to succeed.
Although playing pet for that sick old|man upstairs is key to my scheme. . .
. . .I cannot stand this humiliation|any longer. Am I clear?
Never mind.|The puppy won't survive the night.
Send in the ninjas.
Nervous about the tryouts tomorrow?
No.
-It's okay to be nervous.|-I'm not nervous.
I stink, but I'm not nervous.
Is he saying that because|he needs me to reassure him?
Yes. Reassure him.
You're the most wonderful,|great, charming, good looking. . .
. . .boy in the whole wide world.
-Maybe your dad could help you.|-No, I'm pretty sure he stinks too.
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"Cats & Dogs" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/cats_%2526_dogs_5211>.
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