Catch and Release

You want to know

what I keep thinking about?

That argument we had right before you left.

Remember?

There you are, heading off

for your big bachelor party fishing trip

and I start in on you

like some hysterical fishwife,

insisting that you finish the seating chart

before you go.

What was I thinking?

What I should have said

as you were leaving is, "I love you."

Or, at least... I don't know.

"Have fun. Be nice to the strippers."

Instead, the last words

you heard me say were,

"Listen, pal,

"no more nookie until you figure out

where to put your mother's bridge club. "

Our hearts go out to you.

How you doing, Mrs. D?

You need anything?

A Scotch, but thin it out.

Don't let me get all Irish.

- You boys were just lovely today.

- Oh, sorry.

My God.

He had good friends.

He was a friend of yours?

The guy who died?

Yeah. We grew up together.

So, you live here in Boulder?

No. I moved away after high school.

- Where to?

- Los Angeles.

- Oh, yeah? What do you do there?

- I make commercials.

Is that a tattoo?

Maybe.

How could you leave me alone

with all these people?

You know I hate crowds.

And high heels.

I'm wearing heels.

I don't know what I'm doing.

I would if you were here.

You'd know how to make all these people

stop talking about you in the past tense,

how to get your pervy uncle off me.

How could you leave me alone

with your pervy uncle?

You know I can't handle him.

I can't handle anything without you.

She say anything to you

about the honeymoon?

- Like what?

- Like, is she still going to go?

Alone in Kauai?

You think that's what she needs right now.

No, dude, not alone.

You know, with a friend.

Because I think it'd be good for her

to get away.

That kind of thing could be really helpful.

- Not me, Dennis. A friend. Anybody.

- Yeah. Somebody else.

Damn.

Sock it to me.

Sock it to me. Sock it to me.

Sock it to me. Sock it to me. Sock it to me.

Sock it to me. Sock it to me. Sock it to me.

Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Hold on.

Butt cramp.

Okay, go.

Sock it to me. Sock it to me. Sock it to me.

Sock it to me. Sock it to me. Sock it to me.

Sock it to me!

Yeah! That's good!

That's really good!

- Thanks.

- You're welcome.

Employees must wash their hands

before returning to work.

Call me,

Mr. Yummy.

Okay. All right.

Jesus!

Oh, shit.

Gray.

You realize, since you weren't married,

Mrs. Douglas is the legal heir.

We're just putting the estate in order.

Yep.

Okay.

Now, did you and Mr. Douglas

share title on anything?

- Car, house?

- No, I'm in a rental.

Which I can't afford by myself. Wow.

We just found it. He hadn't even moved in.

Where's the paperwork for this big account?

What big account?

There's $48,000 on his tax return.

I'm not seeing any statements for it.

His savings had about that much, right?

No, the $48,000 is interest, Gray.

So, for an account to generate that,

the balance would have to be

roughly a million dollars.

A million dollars?

Yeah, in some big investment account.

I bet you he inherited it

when his old man died.

You don't think it's a little weird

that he didn't tell us that he was rich?

Not really.

I mean, what business is it of ours?

I was his partner.

Point is, Dennis, it wasn't business money.

You know? It was his money, so...

He should've at least told you.

If it were me, if we were engaged

and I had a million bucks, there's no way...

Whoa. First off, this chick is only nice

to you because I'm your friend. Okay?

Second off, you don't have two nickels to

rub together, sir. I've seen your ATM card.

- I'm just saying.

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)