Catch-22

Synopsis: A bombardier in World War II tries desperately to escape the insanity of the war. However, sometimes insanity is the only sane way cope with a crazy situation. Catch-22 is a parody of a "military mentality" and of a bureaucratic society in general.
Genre: Comedy, Drama, War
Director(s): Mike Nichols
Production: Paramount Home Video
  Nominated for 1 BAFTA Film Award. Another 4 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.2
Rotten Tomatoes:
85%
R
Year:
1970
122 min
999 Views


What about the others?

I'd be playing a dirty trick on them.

They'll be happier when you're gone.

They have a war to win.

Well, what the hell.

If they don't want any more missions,

let them stand up and say so.

- Precisely.

- Exactly.

Help! Help!

Help him!

- What?

- Help him! Help him!

- Help who?

- Help the bombardier!

- I'm the bombardier, I'm all right.

- Then help him. Help him!

- Snowden.

- What'd he say?

- He said, "Snowden".

- Snowden's dead.

- Why is he talking to a dead man?

- He's Captain Yossarian. He's crazy.

- Who says so?

- I do.

- Cos I hate that son of a b*tch?

- Who?

- Colonel Cathcart.

- I didn't ask you, Orr.

- Colonel Cathcart isn't here.

- Who said anything about him?

- Colonel Korn isn't here.

- Who said anything about him?

- What son of a b*tch do you hate?

- What son of a b*tch is here?

- You don't make any sense.

- You've got a persecution complex.

- Damn right.

- You admit it!

I admit I'm being persecuted.

By them!

- Who specifically is "them"?

- All of them! Who do you think?

- No idea!

- Then how do you know they aren't?

- That's sheer what-do-you-call-it.

- Sophistry.

Like hell it is.

They're trying to kill me!

No one's trying to kill you.

Eat your dessert like a good boy.

- Then why are they shooting at me?

- They're shooting at everyone.

- What difference does that make?

- Suppose everyone thought like you?

- I'd be a fool to think different.

- You need your head examined.

There's nothing wrong with it.

- Look at it once, will you?

- Yossarian, your head is OK.

Please, don't do that.

- Doc?

- What?

- I want you to ground me.

- Don't start that again.

Doc, I don't want to fly any more.

It's dangerous.

Listen, I told you...

Let's get out of here.

I've flown 35 missions. Now that nut

has raised the number to 50.

In any other outfit I would've been

rotated after 25. Help me out.

I'm due for rotation myself

in a couple of months,

if I don't cause trouble

or break any rules.

One of the rules says I can't ground

anyone just because he asks me to.

Can you ground someone who's crazy?

Of course. The rules say

I have to ground anyone who's crazy.

I'm crazy! Ask anybody.

Ask Nately, Dobbs, McWatt...

- Orr, tell him!

- Tell him what?

- Am I crazy?

- He's crazy. He won't fly with me.

I'd take good care of him

but he won't. He's crazy, all right.

- See that? They all say I'm crazy.

- They're crazy.

- Ground them.

- Why don't they ask me to?

- Because they're crazy!

- Of course they're crazy.

You can't let crazy people decide

whether you're crazy or not.

- Is Orr crazy?

- Of course he is.

He has to be, if he keeps flying

after all those close calls.

- Then why not ground him?

- He has to ask me.

- That's all he's gotta do?

- Yes.

- And then you can ground him?

- No. Then I cannot ground him.

- There's a catch.

- A catch?

Sure, Catch-22. Anyone who wants

to get out of combat

isn't really crazy,

so I can't ground him.

Let me see if I got this straight.

In order to be grounded,

I've got to be crazy

and I must be crazy to keep flying.

But if I ask to be grounded,

that means I'm not crazy any more

- and I have to keep flying.

- You've got it! That's Catch-22.

- That's some catch, that Catch-22.

- It's the best there is!

Good afternoon, this is Major Danby,

your Flight Operations Officer,

welcoming you to today's mission.

You've all been briefed

on this morning's run,

so I won't go over it again.

There's no sense naming names, since

the enemy is probably listening,

and there's no reason I can think of

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote

Buck Henry

Henry Zuckerman, credited as Buck Henry (born December 9, 1930), is an American actor, writer, film director, and television director. He has been nominated for an Academy Award twice, in 1968 for Best Adapted Screenplay for The Graduate and in 1979 for Best Director for Heaven Can Wait. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Catch-22" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 6 Dec. 2023. <https://www.scripts.com/script/catch-22_5200>.

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