Catch-22

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What about the others?

I'd be playing a dirty trick on them.

They'll be happier when you're gone.

They have a war to win.

Well, what the hell.

If they don't want any more missions,

let them stand up and say so.

- Precisely.

- Exactly.

Help! Help!

Help him!

- What?

- Help him! Help him!

- Help who?

- Help the bombardier!

- I'm the bombardier, I'm all right.

- Then help him. Help him!

- Snowden.

- What'd he say?

- He said, "Snowden".

- Snowden's dead.

- Why is he talking to a dead man?

- He's Captain Yossarian. He's crazy.

- Who says so?

- I do.

- Cos I hate that son of a b*tch?

- Who?

- Colonel Cathcart.

- I didn't ask you, Orr.

- Colonel Cathcart isn't here.

- Who said anything about him?

- Colonel Korn isn't here.

- Who said anything about him?

- What son of a b*tch do you hate?

- What son of a b*tch is here?

- You don't make any sense.

- You've got a persecution complex.

- Damn right.

- You admit it!

I admit I'm being persecuted.

By them!

- Who specifically is "them"?

- All of them! Who do you think?

- No idea!

- Then how do you know they aren't?

- That's sheer what-do-you-call-it.

- Sophistry.

Like hell it is.

They're trying to kill me!

No one's trying to kill you.

Eat your dessert like a good boy.

- Then why are they shooting at me?

- They're shooting at everyone.

- What difference does that make?

- Suppose everyone thought like you?

- I'd be a fool to think different.

- You need your head examined.

There's nothing wrong with it.

- Look at it once, will you?

- Yossarian, your head is OK.

Please, don't do that.

- Doc?

- What?

- I want you to ground me.

- Don't start that again.

Doc, I don't want to fly any more.

It's dangerous.

Listen, I told you...

Let's get out of here.

I've flown 35 missions. Now that nut

has raised the number to 50.

In any other outfit I would've been

rotated after 25. Help me out.

I'm due for rotation myself

in a couple of months,

if I don't cause trouble

or break any rules.

One of the rules says I can't ground

anyone just because he asks me to.

Can you ground someone who's crazy?

Of course. The rules say

I have to ground anyone who's crazy.

I'm crazy! Ask anybody.

Ask Nately, Dobbs, McWatt...

- Orr, tell him!

- Tell him what?

- Am I crazy?

- He's crazy. He won't fly with me.

I'd take good care of him

but he won't. He's crazy, all right.

- See that? They all say I'm crazy.

- They're crazy.

- Ground them.

- Why don't they ask me to?

- Because they're crazy!

- Of course they're crazy.

You can't let crazy people decide

whether you're crazy or not.

- Is Orr crazy?

- Of course he is.

He has to be, if he keeps flying

after all those close calls.

- Then why not ground him?

- He has to ask me.

- That's all he's gotta do?

- Yes.

- And then you can ground him?

- No. Then I cannot ground him.

- There's a catch.

- A catch?

Sure, Catch-22. Anyone who wants

to get out of combat

isn't really crazy,

so I can't ground him.

Let me see if I got this straight.

In order to be grounded,

I've got to be crazy

and I must be crazy to keep flying.

But if I ask to be grounded,

that means I'm not crazy any more

- and I have to keep flying.

- You've got it! That's Catch-22.

- That's some catch, that Catch-22.

- It's the best there is!

Good afternoon, this is Major Danby,

your Flight Operations Officer,

welcoming you to today's mission.

You've all been briefed

on this morning's run,

so I won't go over it again.

There's no sense naming names, since

the enemy is probably listening,

and there's no reason I can think of

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