Cashback

it takes approximately 500

pounds to crush a human skull.

but the human emotion

is a much more delicate thing.

take suzy,

my first real girlfriend.

my first real breakup,

happening right in front of me.

i never thought it was going

to be similar to car crash.

i've slammed the brakes,

and i'm skidding towards

an emotional impact.

so is this all my fault?

me. ben willis.

it's funny what goes through

your mind at a time like this.

the two-and-a-half years

we spent together.

the promises we made.

the holidays we took

with her parents.

the lamp we bought

at ikea together.

it was my final year

at art college.

and in the weeks that

followed the breakup,

i tried to figure out

what went wrong.

why did we break up?

it's funny, but when i think back now the reason seems so small.

one day she's with me,

and she's saying "i love you, "

and the next week

she's with someone else.

probably saying

the same thing.

so did she

really love me?

what is love anyway?

and is it really

that fleeting?

forget about her. you don't wanna waste your time

thinking about a girl that dumped you for a loser like steve jenkins.

she didn't dump me.

why did she

chuck you anyway?

it ended

'cause suzy thinks the grass is always greener on the other side.

she's always worrying about there being a better party to go to.

or a better boyfriend

to be had.

i just felt i could

never make her happy.

and then steve jenkins

started texting her.

how did steve jenkins

get her number?

it was a good point.

i only imagined the worst.

i don't want

to think about it.

you need to go out with a beautiful girl. a model or something.

why?

well, because if you've got

a beautiful girl on your arm,

then you must

be worth having.

women are in competition

with each other, you see.

suzy sees you with a sexy baby,

she'll think to herself

"if i can get ben back

from that beautiful girl,

then i must be more

beautiful than her. "

sean's success with women

was pretty impressive.

it's true.

ask your mom.

the age-old question.

what is love?

excuse me.

that's good. that's perfect.

ben, mr. adams here

has given his time up for you.

don't you think we should show him a little bit of respect?

excuse me.

i live in student accommodation

not far from the college.

it's basically

a four-story concrete block

housing some 120

hormone-crazed students.

this is the haunting period.

the time when the demons

of regret come for you.

she stood right there

when i said those words:

"i'm sorry.

"i don't think

i can make you happy.

maybe we should break up. "

and that's when

she got angry.

hello?

suzy, it's me, ben.

ben! i was asleep.

what is it?

suzy, um...

i'm sorry.

i'm sorry too.

do you think there's any chance

we'll get back together?

i don't think so, ben.

i think it ran its course.

besides,

i'm with steve now.

have you

slept with him?

yes.

was it good?

i mean, is it better than...

i don't wanna talk

about it with you, ben.

i've gotta go.

sorry, ben.

- suzy?

to think about her now

with someone else,

it felt like all the oxygen

had been sucked from the room.

after my breakup with suzy, i just couldn't fall asleep anymore.

the more i tried to sleep,

the less tired i felt.

i was wide awake.

i tried everything.

i'd just become

immune to sleep.

i suddenly found

i had eight extra hours.

my life had been

extended by a third.

i wanted time to pass quickly, but instead i was forced to witness

the passing of every

second of every hour.

i wanted the hurt i felt

to go away.

but in some cruel trick

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