
Carry on Jack
We must have more men, Hardy,
more men.
When you get back, tell them.
Tell them we need more men.
We need a bigger Navy.
We must have more recruits.
You mustn't talk so much, sir.
You must save your strength.
I know.
Kiss me, Hardy.
I beg your pardon, sir?
Kiss me, Hardy.
Are you mad?
What will they say at the Admiralty, sir?
They'll only be jealous.
I don't know. You're very weak, sir.
It may not be good for you.
Told you so.
It is usual for a cadet to spend a year
at the Naval Academy
before qualifying and passing out,
but you seem to be a somewhat
exceptional case, having taken...
Let me see.
- Eight and a half years, sir.
- Exactly, Albert Decker.
Eight and a half years.
The name is Poop-Decker, sir.
I have a hyphen.
According to this report,
you have more than that.
But as we are short of men,
we can't afford to be fussy.
No, sir. I'm sure I shall pass out all right
next year, sir.
I admire your confidence, Decker,
but, unfortunately,
England cannot wait that long.
While we're at war with Spain, we need
every able-bodied man we can get.
I use the term "able-bodied" loosely,
of course.
In your case, we've decided to forgo
the usual formalities of passing out,
and present you with your
Midshipman's sword immediately.
- Oh, thank you, sir.
- And thank you.
Put it on.
Put it on!
Yes, sir.
You will proceed to Plymouth
and join His Majesty's frigate Venus.
Aye aye, sir.
And please remember, Mr Poop-Decker,
that you are a member of His Majesty's
Navy, and try and act accordingly.
Don't worry, sir. You can depend on me.
That is what I am afraid of.
Whoa, there!
Plymouth town!
Hurry up, Captain Blood,
or the war'll be over.
- Be careful or I'll start another one.
- I wouldn't put it past you.
You insolent dog! Get my bag down.
You dare.
Go on! Get up!
Thank you!
Oh, well.
They'll never know if I don't pull it out.
Ow!
Take you to the docks, Cap'n?
Oh, yes. I want the frigate Venus.
If you think he can make it?
Lightning Legs. He'll be all right.
- Take your bag?
- Thank you.
- Hey up!
- Argh!
Wait.
Wait! Stop a minute!
Whoa! Wait a minute!
Stop it! Wait a minute!
Whoa!
There we are, Cap'n.
That'll be just a crown, please.
A crown? There's no bottom in that thing.
I've run all the way!
Well, it's better than walkin', isn't it?
- It's daylight robbery.
- Thank you, Cap'n. There's your ship.
Oh, good. I must find Captain Fearless.
You won't find nobody
aboard her now, Cap'n.
- Why not?
- She sails first thing in the morning.
They've all gone ashore
to get a last bit of you-know-what.
- You-know-what?
- And I know where too.
If I were you, I'd step ashore yourself.
You would?
It'll be many a long day
afore you see a young wench again.
Again? But I've never...
Well, of course, I wouldn't mind a bit of...
You-know-what!
Providing they're well-brought up ladies.
Don't you worry, Cap'n,
I know the perfect place
for a gentleman of quality like yourself.
Good. How do I get there?
No, not again.
Half-fare, sir, as you're partly driving,
as you might say.
You're on.
We're going for a bit of...
Forward!
Is that right, Ned? The Venus leaves
That's right, my lovely. What of it?
Do you think
you could you smuggle me aboard?
- What for?
- No questions asked.
Oh-ho! That's different.
Well, what about it?
Supposing I did.
What would I get for me trouble?
I've got five sovereigns saved up.
I don't want your money, my lovely.
You know what I want.
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"Carry on Jack" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 3 Mar. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/carry_on_jack_5123>.