Carry On Henry Page #3

Can it be... garlic?

Why, yes! Do you like it, then, Sir Roger?

Everyone should have it.

Oh, well.

Here, help yourself.

Thank you.

Ah, that's better. Ha, ha!

So now to work.

- Why, Sir Roger, what are you about?

- I'm undressing, madam.

- But to what end?

- Didn't you know?

As the King's taster,

I have to try everything before he does.

# Hunting horns

- We have found well today, Your Majesty.

- Stop calling me Your Majesty.

At this sport, I'm always incognito.

- Of course. Will we wait for you, sire?

- No, I'll find my own way back. It may take time.

- Oh! Good hunting, sire.

- Thank you. I'll save the brush for you.

Walk on.

(Gasps for breath)

Ha, ha, ha!

Well, well, well, my pretty.

Ha-ha, ha-ha!

- Don't be frightened.

- Who are you? And what do you want?

- Just a hunter looking for some sport.

- You look like a gentleman.

Don't let the clothes fool you. Come here.

Come here, come here.

Hey, not so fast there!

I don't even know your name.

Call me Henry.

Henry, eh?

Same as that miserable sot who rules us.

- Miserable what?

- Sot.

Oh, sot. Oh, he's quite a nice fellow, really.

Oh? You want to hear my dad go on about him.

The way he keeps screwing us on taxes.

Whatever else he does,

I can assure you it's not screwing.

My dad says hanging's too good for him.

He'd like to see him fry in his own fat.

Really? I must meet your dad sometime.

I'd like to swap recipes with him.

My dad says him and Earl Cromwell

are a right pretty pair.

- Not half as pretty as the one I'm looking at.

- Oh, no, you don't!

We're not in the hay

just to look for needles, are we?

That's all very well. But what am I going to get?

What are you going to get?

What do you normally get?

You know what I mean. People are prepared

to pay handsomely for my favours.

Oh, blimey.

Here, I've only got a two shilling piece.

Oh! I haven't got any change.

Don't worry, darling.

You can owe it to me.

Oh! Ooh!

Ha, ha, ha!

Ooh, aren't your hands rough?

Eh? Oh, hang on, I'll take off my gauntlets.

- Oooh!

- Is that better?

- Cor, you don't waste much time, do you?

- No, blimey, why should I?

How many petticoats have you got?

Blimey, it's like peeling an artichoke.

Ha, ha, ha!

So that's the way of it?

You varmint! I'll kill you!

- Hang on, just a minute.

- It's my dad!

Is it? Blimey!

Before you do anything you'll regret,

let me tell you who you're talking to.

I happen to be... Your dad, did you say?

- Yes.

- Go on, you are what?

I'm off. Give me my money back!

(Pigs oinking)

Oh, blimey. In it again!

You may be seated.

Are Their Majesties not coming to dinner?

I doubt it. The King is still away hunting

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