Carry On Cowboy Page #3

Here. Yes! Of course!

There's no need to shout, Judge.

I'm wearing my specs.

It's I iucky I remembered

where you put that.

Oh, I do beg your pardon,

commissioner.

Damn it, Perkins,

can't you see I'm busy!

I'm terribly sorryy, sir.

This just wouldn't wait.

You think this will?

All right, all right.

What's so all-fired important?

It's another telegraph

from Stodge City, sir.

Judge Burke...

He's the Mayor there, you know.

Burke? Oh, yeah, I remember him

in law school. He's a bum.

I didn't know you studied

at law school, sir?

I didn't. I was the janitor.

What does the bum want?

Lawless elements

have completely taken over the town.

He wants us to send him

a peace marshal to clean the place up.

Why bother me with all this?

Send him a marshal. Anything for peace.

Well, that's just the trouble, sir.

We haven't any available.

Nobody?

What about that big head

who hangs around, looking for work?

What's his name?

Dillon. What's he doing?

Six months.

Oh. Well, looks like

we got a problem here.

Miss Jones,

can you think of something we can do?

Why, yes.

But hadn't we better get the problem

out of the way first?

Next.

- What can I do for you?

- I'd like a job, please.

- Name?

- Knutt.

With a "K".

Huh, you could have fooled me.

First name?

Marshal.

Marshal P. Knutt.

Most of my friends call me "Marsh".

Well, then, in that case,

you won't mind if I call you Marshal.

Profession?

Drainage, sanitation and

garbage disposal engineer, first class.

- Congratulations.

- Thank you.

Qualifications?

Yes. I have a certificate from

Chipping Sodbur Technical College.

That's in England.

And a reference from Lady Pushing,

saying what a good job I did

on her main sludge channel,

cos it was all...

bunged up, you know.

And this was presented to me

by the Chipping Sodbur Ladies' Guild,

In appreciation for services rendered.

It's a sink plunger.

It's very interesting, Mr Knutt.

I fail to see how it can be of any use to us.

That's where you're wrong.

I don't mind telling you

that since I arrived in America,

I've been amazed

by your out-of-date methods.

For instance your way of disposing

of garbage is a load of rubbish.

And as for sanitation,

I think you'll agree it's an absurd waste

of the President's vaiuable time

to have to walk from the White House

all the way to that little shed

at the bottom of the garden.

And as for your city streets...

Mr Knutt!

May I suggest

that you see the Publlc Works

Department down the corridor?

Oh, thank you.

Thank you very much.

Just a minute. Mr Knutt!

Would you piease take this with you?

Oh, yes.

We mustn't forget that, must we?

I'm terribiy sorryy.

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