Carry on at Your Convenience Page #3

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There we are.

Trouble.

Well, well, well. Never saw so many people

wanting to leave the room at the same time.

I have to inform you, Mr Plummer.

It has just been decided by a majority vote

that unless the tea rounds are brought back,

there will be an immediate walkout.

Oh, yes. We're playing at home this afternoon,

aren't we?

- You're not going to let them get away with this?

- Leave it to me, Mr Lewis.

Now, look, Spanner.

Let's be sensible about this.

You know very well that our extra tea rounds

were laid on by the management as a privilege.

So doing away with them

hardly breaks any union rules.

Ah. That's just where you're wrong,

and I quote...

Section M, page 154, paragraph 79b,

treatment of the workers.

"Action may be taken if at any time the

management fails to provide adequate facilities

for catering to the workers' natural needs. "

Natural needs?

Drinking is a natural need, is it not?

So's sex, but that doesn't mean

they have to lay on crumpet.

Very funny, Mr Plummer. Very funny.

We want to know if you are prepared

to reinstate the tea rounds.

You know very well I can't do that,

but, as works foreman,

I'll see that your complaint is passed on

to the management. All right?

No, I'm afraid not.

We need a more positive guarantee.

- Why don't we talk about it?

- No! I'm damned if we will.

- Mr Lewis, please!

- No. Now, listen to me, all of you.

Oh, blimey.

You may not understand what it means,

but since I've been working in this factory,

I have made a time and motion study.

I know what it means, Mr Lewis. And if you've

got the time, I've certainly got the motion.

And don't think I hadn't noticed it, Mrs Moore.

Especially in your main production department.

Oh, you cheeky devil!

Anyhow,

I'd like to try and show you how it works.

She knows how it works. I promise you.

Mr Lewis, we are evading the issue.

Are we or are we not going to get

what we want?

That's up to Mrs Moore.

I mean on the factory floor!

Not ruddy likely!

All right. That's enough fun.

Now, let's get down to business.

Sounds just like my old man!

All right, all right.

In this factory, 166 extra mugs of tea

are served in the average week.

Now, on the basis that one worker has to make

a trip to the toilet for every pint consumed,

this means that he makes 16 trips in one day.

Poor devil. He must have a weakness.

No, not quite, Mr Hulke.

It means that, allowing for an average time

of four and a half minutes

for each trip to the toilet,

72 minutes are lost in each day.

Which equals 15 hours lost

going to the toilet in one week.

You see?

- So what is the answer?

- Tie a knot in it.

Quite. But a less painful solution, in my opinion,

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