Carry on Again Doctor

Synopsis: Dr Nookey is disgraced and sent to a remote island hospital. He is given a secret slimming potion by a member of staff, Gladstone Screwer, and he flies back to England to fame and fortune. But others want to cash in on his good fortunes, and some just want him brought down a peg or two.
Genre: Comedy
 
IMDB:
6.2
NOT RATED
Year:
1969
89 min
21 Views

(Woman screams)

They've started early today.

(Screams)

Oh, hello. What is it, Miss Armitage?

What's the matter?

- (Whimpers)

- I'm so sorry, I'm not dipped.

What happened?

What frightened you, Miss Armitage?

Wh-What's all the fuss about?

I might have known. Dr Nookey,

what have you been doing to this patient?

Doing? To her? You must be joking.

I was just having a shower

when she suddenly barged in.

That is the women's washroom.

W- Women's washroom?

Well, it was only changed yesterday, Doctor,

while the women's is being redecorated.

The notice isn't very clear.

That is no excuse.

I think you owe this lady an apology.

I'm most terribly sorry, Miss...

(Screams)

DOCTOR:
Miss Armitage!

- Don't forget my appointment.

- Ooh!

Don't you start.

Ohh! Why do they put such awkward handles

on these doors?

Oh, I'm terribly sorry, sir,

but there seems to have been an awful mistake.

Your medical career is notorious

for its ups and downs.

- Now we appear to have reached the bottom.

- Ooh!

Pay attention, everyone.

The head surgeon is making his rounds.

Sit up straight.

- Sit up straight.

- You must be joking.

The point is, sir, as senior house surgeon,

it is my job to see

that the hospital runs with efficiency.

- Dr Nookey is a disrupting influence.

- Oh, don't go on so, Stoppidge.

I can't sack every doctor who goes in the wrong

washroom and makes an exhibition of himself.

- Who was that woman?

- Miss Armitage. She's in for observation.

Is she? All I can say is she observed

a darn sight more than she bargained for.

There's more to it than that, sir.

There have been other incidents with nurses.

Oh, come, come, Stoppidge. We both know that

young doctors indulge in a bit of jiggery-pokery.

Sir, I do not object to jiggery,

but I do take exception to pokery.

Excuse me, sir...

Ah, this is the new kidney case, I suppose.

- Oh, yes, sir. Mr Bean.

- Ah, kidney bean!

Well, Mr Bean, how are you? Any pain?

A bit, sir,

especially when I pass water.

The best thing for you to do, Mr Bean,

is to stop passing it.

Every time you come to some,

stop and turn back.

- Has he been X-rayed?

- Yes, sir.

- I'd like to see his plates.

- Yes, of course.

I mean his X-ray plates.

I beg your pardon. Matron.

Nurse.

Thank you.

Ah. Hm. Yes.

It's a stone.

No? I thought it was a trouser button.

Mr Bean, do you wear a zip on your trousers?

Why, yes.

It's a stone. It'll have to come out right away.

- Excuse me, sir.

- Don't keep plucking at me, I'm not a chicken.

I'm sorry, but you have an appointment

at the Berkeley Nursing Home.

- It can wait.

- With Mrs Moore.

And she... Oh, yes, that's different.

She's a wealthy private patient of mine.

I took her appendix out the other day.

I hope you both had a nice time.

I'll make the jokes if you don't mind, Stoppidge.

- All right, Fosdick, get the car.

- But, sir, what about the operation?

You can handle it.

I hear you're a good kidney winkler.

- Sir, I've never done this kind of op before.

- You'll handle it.

- I'll lend you my penknife.

- Penknife?!

Yes, it's got one of those things

for taking out stones.

Oh, but, sir, I do need your advice.

- Come with me in the car. I'll explain it.

- Thank you, sir.

Mr Bean! Come back!

CARVER:
Bend over and I'll demonstrate.

Perfectly straightforward, you see.

You make your incision here. Stop squirming.

Isn't the incision rather high up, sir?

I don't want to take a lump off his coccyx.

High up? Certainly not.

Have you got a skin pencil?

Show me the position of a normal kidney.

I would say it's just about... there.

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Talbot Rothwell

Talbot Nelson Conn Rothwell, OBE (12 November 1916 – 28 February 1981) was an English screenwriter. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Carry on Again Doctor" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 20 Nov. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/carry_on_again_doctor_5109>.

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