Capricorn One Page #4

OF ANOTHER ALTERNATIVE,

I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING NOT TO BE HERE

WITH YOU NOW, ANYTHING.

BRU, HOW LONG HAVE WE KNOWN

EACH OTHER?

SIXTEEN YEARS, THAT'S HOW LONG,

SIXTEEN YEARS.

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN YOURSELF THEN.

YOU SEEMED WALKED OU OF A WHEATIES BOX.

AND ME, ALL SWEATY PALMED AND

DEADLY SERIOUS.

I TOLD EVERYBODY ABOUT THIS DREAM I HAD

OF CONQUERING THE NEW FRONTIER

AND THEY ALL LOOKED AT ME

LIKE I WAS NUTS.

YOU LOOKED AT ME AND SAID, "YES".

I REMEMBER WHEN YOU TOLD ME

KAY WAS PREGNANT.

WE EVEN WENT OUT AND GOT CROCKED.

I REMEMBER WHEN CHARLES WAS BORN.

WE WENT OUT AND GOT CROCKED AGAIN.

THE TWO OF US, CAPTAIN TERRIFIC

AND THE MAD DOCTOR

TALKING ABOUT REACHING THE STARS

AND THE BARTENDER TELLING US

MAYBE WE'D HAD ENOUGH.

SIXTEEN YEARS.

AND THEN, ARMSTRONG,

STEPPED OUT ON THE MOON

AND WE CRIED. WE WERE SO PROUD.

WILLIS, YOU AND WALKER, YOU CAME IN

ABOUT THEN, BOTH BRIGHT AND TALENTED.

LOOKED AT ME IN MY

WASH AND WEAR SHIRT,

CARRYING ON THIS HOT LOVE AFFAIR

WITH MY SLIDE RULE

AND EVEN YOU WERE CAUGHT UP

IN WHAT WE'D DONE.

I REMEMBER WHEN GLENN MADE

HIS FIRST ORBIT IN MERCURY.

THEY PUT UP TELEVISION SETS IN

GRAND CENTRAL STATION,

AND TENS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE

MISSED THEIR TRAINS TO WATCH.

YOU KNOW, WHEN APOLLO SEVENTEEN

LANDED ON THE MOON,

PEOPLE WERE CALLIN' UP THE NETWORKS

AND BITCHIN'

BECAUSE RERUNS OF I LOVE LUCY

WERE CANCELED.

RERUNS, FOR CHRISSAKE!

I CAN UNDERSTAND IF IT WAS

THE NEW LUCY SHOW.

I MEAN, WHAT THE HELL IS

A WALK ON THE MOON?

BUT RERUNS?

OH, JESUS!

AND THEN, SUDDENLY,

EVERYBODY STARTED TALKING

ABOUT HOW MUCH EVERYTHING COST.

WAS IT REALLY WORTH TWENTY BILLION

TO GO TO ANOTHER PLANET?

WHAT ABOUT CANCER? WHAT ABOU THE SLUMS? HOW MUCH DOES IT COST?

HOW MUCH DOES ANY DREAM COST?

FOR CHRISSAKE!

SINCE WHEN IS THERE AN ACCOUNTAN FOR IDEAS?

YOU KNOW WHO WAS

AT THE LAUNCH TODAY?

NOT THE PRESIDENT,

THE VICE PRESIDENT, THAT'S WHO.

THE VICE PRESIDEN AND HIS PLUMP WIFE.

THE PRESIDENT WAS BUSY.

HE'S NOT BUSY.

HE'S JUST A LITTLE BIT SCARED.

HE SAT THERE TWO MONTHS AGO

AND PUT HIS FEET UP ON WOODROW

WILSON DESK.

AND HE SAID, "JIM...

MAKE IT GOOD.

CONGRESS IS ON MY BACK.

THEY'RE LOOKING FOR A REASON

TO CANCEL THE PROGRAM.

WE CAN'T AFFORD ANOTHER SCREW-UP!

MAKE IT GOOD!

YOU HAVE MY EVERY GOOD WISH."

HIS EVERY GOOD WISH. I GOT HIS

SANCTIMONIOUS VICE PRESIDENT,

THAT'S WHAT I GOT!

AND SO THERE WE ARE,

AFTER ALL THOSE HOPES

AND ALL THAT DREAMING.

HE SITS THERE WITH THOSE FLAGS

BEHIND HIS CHAIR

AND TELLS WE CAN'T AFFORD

A SCREW-UP.

AND GUESS WHAT?

WE HAD A SCREW-UP.

A FIRST-CLASS, BONAFIDE,

MADE-IN-AMERICA SCREW-UP!

THE NICE PEOPLE FROM CON-AMALGAMATE

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