Candyman

They will say

that I have shed innocent blood.

What's blood for

if not for shedding?

With my hook for a hand,

I'll split you from your groin

to your gullet.

I came for you.

It's the scariest story

I have ever heard, and it's true.

It happened a few years ago

near Moses Lake in Indiana.

Clara was babysitting for the Johnsons.

And Billy pulls up on his motorcycle.

She wasn't going out with Billy

but with Michael for about six months.

But she always had the hots for Billy

cos he was like, a bad boy.

And Michael was just... so nice.

So, anyway,

she decides that tonight's the night

that she's gonna give Billy

what she never gave to Michael.

- Have you ever heard of Candyman?

- No.

Well, his right hand is sawn off.

He has a hook

jammed in the bloody stump.

And if you look in the mirror

and you say his name five times,

he'll appear behind you

breathing down your neck.

You wanna try it?

So Billy began.

- He looked in the mirror and he said...

- Candyman.

Candyman.

Candyman.

Candyman.

No one ever got past four.

Not here.

Go downstairs.

I have a surprise for you.

She looked in the mirror and,

I don't know why,

but she said his name the last time.

Candyman.

She turned out the lights...

What he saw

turned his hair white from shock.

Killed her, split her open with his hook

and then killed the baby too.

Billy got away, but

soon after, he went crazy.

My roommate's boyfriend knows him.

So, when did you first hear this story?

My friend heard it on the radio.

It's sick.

The babysitterjust roasted the kid,

like it was a turkey or something.

So, what's the deal? You guys doing

a page on serial killers or something?

- Something like that.

- That's it. We're done.

- All right.

- Thanks.

No problem.

- See ya.

- See ya.

See ya.

They get younger every day.

Does anybody remember

the craze for pet baby alligators?

When they got big,

people flushed them down the toilet.

They live in the sewers now.

Some of them are 30 feet long.

Where did this happen?

Miami. They went blind

from living in the dark.

It wasn't Miami, it was New York.

I read it in the paper.

Then it must be true.

Why would Danny and Diane both

be suffering from the same delusion

in two cities 1,000 miles apart?

Let's face it, folks.

There are no alligators in the sewers.

No, it's round the campfire,

it's bedtime stories.

These stories are modern, oral folklore.

They are the unselfconscious reflection

of the fears of urban society.

That's lunch.

...primordial reptile.

It's a monster, right? Why?

Ouch. Ooh. Eugh.

- Ah, the dashing professor.

- The lovely wife.

Hello.

Helen, the crme de la crme.

Harold, Diane, Daniel, Stacey.

- Hi.

- Hello.

Keep up the good work.

Thanks for your contributions.

- Thanks. Bye.

- See you.

Bye.

See ya.

So you wanna tell me about this girl?

What's her name? Stacey.

She could barely look me in the eyes,

Trevor, and I swear she was blushing.

Well, I guess that's because

she's madly in love with me.

All those bursting adolescent hormones.

- You don't really think...

- No, of course not.

Good. I should hope not.

So, what's the matter?

Trevor...

You said you wouldn't do urban legends

until next semester.

You knew Bernadette and I were gathering

data. Why did you have to ruin it?

Honey, you can't expect me

to hold up their education

while the two of you

complete your thesis.

- I have a curriculum to follow.

- Yes, I know.

Well? So don't be mad at me.

If you look in the

mirror and say his name five times,

he'll appear behind you

breathing down your neck.

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