California Suite

1

For heaven's sake, Wendy,

look for an airport!

- Will you look for the airport?

- Oh, don't make such a fuss.

Just put it down on a mountain.

What do you mean,

just put it down?

I'm lucky I can keep it up.

I told you, I never flew before.

Don't shout at me.

I'm a first-class passenger.

You're a first-class lunatic!

It's all over, Wendy. Our relationship

has a quarter of a tank to go.

Yes, but you do love me,

don't you, Harold?

I know this is an awkward time

to bring it up,

but I must know for our future.

- Ohh! Aah!

- Harold, darling, do answer me.

Oh! Oh!

You can stop pretending to be

asleep, Sidney. It's over.

I was listening

to Beethoven's ninth.

Somewhere on this plane,

there's a wonderful orchestra.

The cameraman must do

luggage commercials.

All you could see

were the bags under my eyes.

We'll be landing in Los Angeles

in five minutes, miss Barrie.

I suppose we must.

You were terrific!

I loved it!

Oh, thank you.

That's sweet.

What?

Oh. I hope

you win the Oscar!

It's bizarre.

Eight years with

the national theatre,

two Pinter plays, nine

Shakespeare, three Shaw,

and I finally get nominated

for a nauseating little comedy.

That's why

they call it Hollywood.

Oh!

Gorgeous color.

The smog.

I wonder if

they sell it in bottles.

It would make a wonderful present

for the folks back home.

- Thank you.

- I'm sorry, Mr. Barrie.

- The "no smoking" sign's on.

- Oh, sorry.

I thought it was meant

for the people down there.

Oh, Christ.

The royal treatment.

And if I lose, we go home

in a station wagon.

I can get used to this life

very easily, darling.

Promise me you'll

get nominated every year.

We have a magnificent suite

back at the hotel for you.

How nice.

I'll call you in half an hour.

Fine. Thank you.

Well, that's just fine. Unless

you're making a pot of tea,

I think we're in big trouble.

I didn't build the car.

I just drove it.

Did you look at the Gauge

like I told you to?

I looked at the Gauge

more than I looked at the road.

I ran off the road.

I did not run off the Gauge.

But if you looked at the Gauge,

it wouldn't have overheated.

You mean lookin' at the Gauge real

good stops it from overheatin'?

No, but you've got to speak up.

You've got to say, "hey, the

Gauge says we're overheating."

This is not the kind of news

that you keep to yourself.

You know, I hate rent-a-cars.

Why don't we just leave it here?

It's cooling off, see? I told you. All

we needed to do was give it a chance.

All right, close the hood.

Let's go. I'll drive.

Oh, no! Oh, god.

Say he didn't slam the hood.

What's the matter

with the doors?

Didn't the man say

not to slam the hood down?

Didn't the man say

the doors sometimes lock

when you slam the hood down?

Did the man say

I would burn my hand?

It's locked, all right.

Who's got the keys?

The car's got the keys!

Why didn't you take the keys?

I only went

from my seat to the hood.

I thought it would be safe. You

on his side. Stand over there.

What fool closed the windows?

That fool closed the windows.

Even with my eyes on the Gauge,

I saw that fool close

the windows.

The air-conditioning

doesn't work with open windows.

Well, now the car doesn't work

with closed windows,

does it, fool?

Smile, everybody!

We're in Los Angeles!

I'm not paying for this window.

Bettina, you're keeping

the books.

Put the window in his column.

We're drivin', ain't we?

We're not bein' towed, are we?

Deduct the cost of being towed

from my column.

Oh, when are you two gonna stop

bickering and start vacationing?

It's been like this

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