California Solo Page #4

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about, Lachlan,

was how f***ed

the music business is.

Poor Mick, probably taken

the scrambled flamingo eggs

off the rider.

- Flamingo egg whites, mate.

- Oh, yeah.

Very fit bastard.

Makes Iggy look fat.

For sure.

How you doin', you all right?

Yeah, I'm well, I'm well.

Not playing so much anymore.

No rolling stone, I'm afraid,

too much moss.

But I'm keeping busy.

Doing a lot of

broadcasting at the moment.

Good, good.

Well, it's a podcast,

in actual fact.

But I, like, discuss

the spectacular deaths

of the world's great musicians.

Marvin Gaye, Janis

Joplin, Serge Gainsbourg.

Lindsay Lohan.

Did you do a show on Jed?

No, not yet, no.

F***, Wendell, to be honest,

it's more of a hobby, really.

Right.

Well, what do you do for work?

Actually... sorry.

Do you recall

that marijuana charge

that you helped to

get us out of,

way back in

the '96 Glass Houses tour?

No.

Okay, LAX.

- I had some weed in my bag.

- Oh, geez...

Stupidly stuck it through the

X-ray machine like an idiot.

Yeah, I remember.

Well, that small misdemeanor,

coupled with a recent DUI,

means I might

be getting kicked out

of the good ol' US of A.

That's f***ing terrible.

Yeah, well, I've got a

lawyer who thinks

he might be able to help me,

but uh, his fee is $5,000.

F***.

Wendell.

Come on, man.

You're the only friend

I have left

whose house I have to

drive up a considerable incline

Lachlan, I've told

you a thousand times...

I know... I know what

you said,

and my house is in order,

but it's just a tiny, wee

f***ing house, that's all.

Yeah, well, you

just got to have some money

under the f***ing bed,

okay, Lachlan.

Okay, right...

I work on a farm.

I don't mind my life.

I don't mind it at

all, in fact, but...

I've got less than

$1,200 in the bank.

I don't even have

a credit card.

I've got money coming in,

Wendell, I can pay you back.

I just cannot go back

to the UK.

Nothing for me there.

And you understand that,

don't you, man?

Yes, I understand that, man.

Do you ever go back?

- No.

- Never?

Never.

Then why the f*** did

you come to me?

'Cause you...

Why the f***...?

F***, 'cause you're

Johnny-on-the-spot, aren't you?

Thrive in a crisis,

and all of that.

To wit, the old drug charge.

Yeah, Johnny-on-the-spot,

that's good.

I cleaned up every sh*t pile you

ever trod in, and your mates.

- Right, didn't I?

- Yeah.

- That was me doing that.

- I know.

Except the last one.

You've cost me, boy.

You've cost me a lot more

than five grand.

Yeah, well, I think we made you

quite a bit as well, Wendell.

Your brother made it,

all right?

Your f***ing brother

made me the money.

Not you.

It wasn't about the money.

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