Cadillac Man

Synopsis: Joe's a car salesman with a problem. He has two days to sell 12 cars or he loses his job. This would be a difficult task at the best of times but Joe has to contend with his girlfriends (he's two timing), a missing teenage daughter and an ex-wife. What more could go wrong ?.. a lot, enter a crazy jealous husband with a machine gun..
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Roger Donaldson
Production: Orion Home Video
Rotten Tomatoes:
97 min

I don't know what's

wrong with it.

You guys were supposed

to service this thing!

I don't know why he

didn't service it.

I don't know.

Why don't you guys take a suck

on that tailpipe?

Son of a b*tch!

I don't know what the hell

I'm going to do now.


Blown engine, right?

The engine's blown to hell.

Want me to call you a tow truck?

We got help coming.


Joey O'Brien, Turgeon Auto.

Finest automobiles

by the world's great carmakers.

Great. Just what I need.

A goddamn car salesman.

You know, you're in

a very dignified profession.

People rely upon you

for the last images...

they have of their loved ones,

and this ain't a pretty picture.

Oh, please, I'm trying to bury

a guy, not buy a hearse.

I'm talking a deal.

Dealer invoice?

Come on by tomorrow.

We're having

a one-time-only sale...

of all our luxury vehicles.

I'll customize

anything you want.

I will personally walk you

through every step of the deal.

We'll have your business

back on its feet by Monday...

back from the dead,

you might say.

- Excuse me.

- Sorry.

If I might interrupt...

What are you doing

about my husband?

We've arranged

for a pickup truck.

I did not spend $10,000...

to have my Ralph can'ted around

in a pickup truck!

I'll put you out of business.

Or better still,

I'll take you to court.

I'll bury you for this!

- Madam.

- What is it?

My deepest condolences.

May I suggest that we

move your husband along...

as quickly as possible

to his last resting place?

Because, as you can see,

it's a very, very hot day...

and there is

no air conditioning...

so I think we should

get him out of the sun...

as quickly as possible.


I'll gladly lend a hand.

Please, gentlemen.

Oh, be careful.

This guy needs to go on a diet.

Please, that's the widow, man.

What did she feed the guy?

Life's crazy, isn't it?

Here I am, driving along,

minding my own business...

when opportunity knocks.

Be careful.

All right, get the flowers.


He's in there.

This must be

very stressful for you.

She's got to be well-off.

He'll be all right.

Don't you worry.

This is a nice box.

He must have carried

a big life policy.

Thanks a lot. This isn't

even your funeral.

I do for you, maybe one day

you do for me.


She could use some cheering up

at a time like this...

and people get a lot

of pleasure from a new car.

She'll want to

get on with her life.

Can I?

You can't do this.

You can't sell a widow a car

at her husband's funeral.

People will think that's

a little insensitive.

But most people

think that car salesmen...

are the scum

of the earth, anyway.

May I help you

back to your car?

Thank you.

Your husband must

have been a fine man.

He was a fine man.

A man who took care of you

all of his life.

Never denied you anything.


Ralph denied me nothing.

He was a good provider.

Now that he's gone,

I'm sure he wouldn't want you...

to deny yourself in his absence.

Joey O'Brien, Turgeon Auto.

- What is this?

- My business card.

You're not trying

to sell me a car, are you?

At my husband's funeral?

Before he's even in the ground?

Are you?

You sleaze.

You are the scum of the earth.

Not every sale works out,

but I've got to keep trying...

because you know why?

A lot of them do work out...

and when they do,

I feel great...

because I'm making

someone happy.

It's like I'm making

a friend...

what I like to call

a relationship for life.

I love to sell.

It's pathological, I guess.

At that moment,

that point of sale...

I cannot get any closer

to another human being...

without protection.

A little to the right.

A little to the left.

Good. could drive

the car of your dreams.


I'm Big Jack Turgeon...

That was quick!

No, honey.

It's your commercial.

My commercial?

Yeah, babe, look.

There's Dave.

There's Henry.

He's talking, right?

No. He speaks perfect English.

- Who's she?

- That's Molly.

I'm Joey, and I'll put you...

We're closing our doors

after 35 years in one location.

We have got to sell...

It looks very professional.

One day, Sunday!


Joe, come here.

I want to show you something.

What do you think

of that bad boy?

That's really tasteful.

Skulls with death rocks.

Maybe some worms

crawling out of them.

That would really

piss your dad off.


Good golly, Miss Molly.

You've had the rest,

now have the best.

Joey, I'm with a customer.

You do remember what

a customer looks like?

Jackie, I know I'm late...

but I've been taking

care of business, babe.

I know the kind of business

you're taking care of.

I hustled a new hearse

at a funeral.

Come on, Joey,

don't bullshit me.

This is Jackie

you're talking to.

I'm not bullshitting.

He's coming in tomorrow.

The guy from downtown

is on line one.

Tell him I'll call him later.

God, she just drives me crazy.

Jackie, be a little

more subtle.

She's a married woman.

You don't want to get caught.

Come on. God forgive me.

I just can't help myself.

Hey, who can?

We've got to talk about

the sale tomorrow.

Jackie, I'm ready.

Remember those two guys...

you werert here that day.

Anyway, Dad had

some outside experts...

come by to check our operation.

They recommended

we reduce the sales force...

when we move

to the new location.

How many you going to lose?

Molly's gonna stay

because she sells cars.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote

Ken Friedman

Ken Friedman, (born September 19, 1949 in New London, Connecticut) was a member of Fluxus, an international laboratory for experimental art, architecture, design, and music. Friedman joined Fluxus in 1966 as the youngest member of the classic Fluxus group. He has worked closely with other Fluxus artists and composers such as George Maciunas, Dick Higgins, and Nam June Paik, as well as collaborating with John Cage and Joseph Beuys. He was the general manager of Dick Higgins's Something Else Press in the early 1970s. In the 1990s, Friedman's work as a management consultant and designer led him to an academic career, first as Professor of Leadership and Strategic Design at the Norwegian School of Management in Oslo, then as Dean of the Faculty of Design at Swinburne University of Technology in Melbourne. Friedman is now Chair Professor of Design Innovation Studies at Tongji University and Editor-in-Chief of She Ji. The Journal of Design, Economics, and Innovation [1]. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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