Caddyshack II Page #3

You look like a sick man.

I don't want to give you any problems.

I'm looking for Ty Webb.

The room that time forgot.

Mr Webb, your guest.

- Jack!

- I see you're working hard, as usual.

You know how it is. Managing

a large inheritance is a full-time job.

The lawyers and accountants

send me a lot of things.

Got to sign things. A lot of work for

a measly couple of million bucks a year.

I was born with a wooden spoon

in my mouth.

Hm. Must have been hard on your mother.

How's business?

Still building those apartments?

Yeah, yeah,

mostly middle and low-income housing.

No money in it,

but I sleep well at night.

That's interesting.

I sleep well during the daytime.

Where, in a cat box?

You look terrible.

I got it.

There you are.

Who built this thing anyway?

I'll be right with you, Jack.

You know me, I believe a healthy life

needs a balance between work and play.

Give and take. In and out. Yin and Yang.

I heard you get more Yang

than you can handle.

- Hey, Ty, you're looking well.

- Hey, nice to see you, Vinny.

- Er, Ted.

- Whatever.

What you going to do

with all those hearts?

Ty! Damn!

Seven of diamonds.

Keep that queen of spades.

- Have a seat.

- Sure.

- He's ruined the entire hand.

- So you want to join Bushwood?

It's for my daughter's sake.

Me, I couldn't care less.

This place is what the world would have

looked like if the Germans had won.

Well, lucky for us, the Japanese won.

I guess I should introduce you

to some of the members.

- Do you have to?

- Take it easy, Jack.

You just relax.

The important thing is to be yourself.

And of course, lose the accent.

What accent?

Jack Hartounian, I'd like you to meet

some of the oldest members.

- Mr Foreskin.

- Forrester.

Forrester. And Mr Crabs.

And Mr Wrinkle.

- That's Winkler.

- Winkler. And Mr er...

- Or is it Mrs?

- Jamison.

Jamison, that's right. Mrs Jamison.

- Oh, there you are, Ty.

- Hello, Chandler.

- I was looking for...

- PoliGrip?

- No, no...

- Condom machine?

- No.

- That blue stuff you put your combs in?

I was looking for a Mr Hartounian.

Hartounian? In this club?

Oh, you mean Jack? Here he is.

- Hello.

- How do you do?

- I'm Miffy's father. Chandler Young.

- Chandler Young?

I'm at a disadvantage.

I only have one last name.

And quite an interesting

last name it is.

- Hartounian?

- What is your background?

My background? My father was Armenian.

My mother was half Jewish,

half English, half Spanish.

- That's three halves.

- Oh, she was a big woman.

I thought you should meet Chandler.

He's the club president.

You can play golf with him.

If that goes well, a cocktail or two,

and er, maybe some light petting later.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes