Cabaret Page #4

Do you know what this artistic

and colorful book's about?

No. Tell, tell.

lt's pure pornography.

But of course it is, darling.

All of Herr Ludwig's books are dirty books.

What's this one called?

''Cleo, the Whip Lady.''

You lied about the hot water.

l'm freezing.

l'm freezing to death.

Hug me?

Tighter.

Don't be so literal.

Doesn't my body

drive you wild with desire?

Doesn't it?

lt's a very nice body.

Do you really think so, darling?

lt does have a certain kind of style.

l mean, look, it's very flat here...

...not much hips, and...

...here....

lt's a little early in the day

for this sort of thing, isn't it?

Maybe you just don't sleep with girls.

You don't.

Well, listen, we're practically

living together, so if you only like boys...

...l mean, l wouldn't dream

of pestering you.

Well, do you sleep with girls, or don't you?

You don't ask questions like that.

l do.

All right.

lf you insist.

l do not sleep with girls.

Let me be absolutely accurate.

l've gone through the motions

of sleeping with girls exactly...

...three times.

All of them disastrous.

The word for my sex life now is...

...''nil,'' or...

...as you Americans would say...

...''plenty of nuttin'''!

All right?

Why didn't you tell me in the first place?

Look, Brian.

You're absolutely my best friend.

And friends are much harder to find

than lovers.

Besides, sex always screws up

a friendship, anyway, if you let it.

So we won't let it.

Okay, Sally.

''You would have been,

he would have been....''

Pluperfect tense.

''l have been....''

lf you did a little homework,

instead of gadding about all over town....

Fraulein Schneider,

there's a new pupil coming at 3:00.

-Would you show her up, please?

-Certainly.

''You had have been, l had have been....''

Future perfect.

''l shall have....''

''l shall have been.'' This English.

l go now to try to pull a deal.

Or l make business soon...

...or l go as a gigolo.

''Either, or.''

''Either, or,'' l go as a gigolo.

Anyway, who is the new pupil?

Natalia Landauer.

Landauer?

Of the big department store?

A Landauer?

How did you meet a Landauer?

l had a letter of introduction

from England.

They invited me for coffee.

lnvited you for coffee?

Landauers are enormous rich Jews.

Stinking rich, it seems.

Good.

l shall make a pass after her.

What if she's...fat and hideous?

Perhaps the father will take

a liking from me and give me a job.

lf l marry her, a partnership perhaps.

l'm not prejudiced.

Hello.

You said you wouldn't be back until 4:00.

l must have a drink this instant.

The new pupil's due at any moment.

Can't the drink wait?

Oh, God, only gin.

Sally, please!

Three marks an hour. l need it.

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