Bullets Over Broadway

[ Applause ]

##

Toot-Toot-Tootsie good-bye

Toot-Toot-Tootsie don't cry

The little choo-choo train

that takes me

Away from you, You don't know

just how sad it makes me

Kiss me Tootsie and then

Do it over again

Watch for the mail I'll never fail

If you don't get a letter then

you know I'm in jail Hey, hey

Don't cry, Tootsie Don't cry

Kiss me, Tootsie Good-bye

#[ Whistling ]

Get hot Don't cry, Tootsie Don't cry

Good-bye, Tootsie Oh, good-bye#

I'm an artist, and I won't change

a word of my play...

to pander to some commercial

Broadway audience!

I'm not arguing with you!

Do you see me arguing?

Your play is great as is. It's real.

It makes a point. It's confrontational.

- Then why won't you produce it?

- Because I cannot afford

another failure.

- David, the play's too heavy.

- But not everybody writes to distract.

- [ Groans ]

- It's the theater's duty

not just to entertain...

- but to transform men's souls.

- Oh, come on.

You're not at one of your sidewalk cafes

in Greenwich Village. This is Broadway.

- You said you believed in my play!

- What do you want me to say?

I'm tapped out. Maybe if we got some

big-time director interested...

- I could scare up backers--

- No, no, no. I'm directing this play.

Ohh, will you listen to this guy?

Where's your track record?

I won't see my work mangled again.

I've been through this twice before.

Two powerful scripts,

could have been tremendous successes...

and I had to watch actors change

my dialogue and directors

misinterpret everything!

I know. I know.

You're an artist.

Let me tell you, kid, that's the

real world out there, and it's

a lot rougher than you think.

Ma

He's makin' eyes at me

Ma

He's awful nice to me

Ma, he's almost

breakin' my heart

What are you waitin' for?

Kill them!

Come on. Let's go

get somethin' to eat.

- I feel like eatin' ribs.

- That's a good idea.

I gotta go shoot crap at Tommy's. He's

got a game at the Ansonia. I gotta go.

Somebody's got to let

Mr. Valenti know what's going on.

He's at the Three Deuces.

- Why don't you go tell him?

- I promised Bobby Doyle.

I can't do nothin'.

- I gotta shoot a game.

- What's a matter, Cheech? Don't

you wanna baby-sit his girl?

His girlfriend's

a pain in my ass.

You gotta see Mama

every night

Or you can't see Mama

at all

You gotta kiss Mama

Treat her right

Or she won't be home

when you call

Now if you want

my company

- Here, doll, take care of this hat.

- You can't fifty-fifty me

- Mr. V. here?

- Yeah, right this way.

-Nice crowd.

-Yeah, we're packin' 'em in every night.

- Right here.

- Monday night I sat alone

Tuesday night

you didn't phone

Wednesday night

you didn't call

- Done.

- Now that's a load

off my mind. How many?

- Four.

- This means we ain't heard the last.

You know Kustabeck's gonna have a fit,

but he'll run scared.

- Maybe.

- Listen, a deal's a deal.

- We got midtown. I mean, eh...

Mr. Valenti does.

- [ Whistling ]

I don't want that kind

of a sheik

Who does his sheiking

once a week

You gotta see Mama

every night

Or you can't see

You can't see Mama

at all

Not at all.

[ Applause ]

I'm fed up!

I'm fed up, do you hear me?

You can push your torpedoes around all

you want, but I've had it up to here!

- What is it now?

- I am not sharing a dressing room.

I am tired of getting

bumped into and stepped on.

None of these bimbos knows how to dance.

- Bimbos!

- They're the best line in New York.

- Bullshit! Bullshit!

- Oh, knock it off.

- Hey, clam up over there.

Olive, come on.

- What?

- Olive, it's our anniversary.

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