Buck Privates Come Home Page #4

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you like to share my stateroom?

I'd rather stay with Uncle Herbie.

Of course you would. But being a

company mascot, you know the army.

Regulations are regulations.

Okay, but if we lived up to all the

regulations handed down by the brass,

we'd have lost the war.

Who did you hear say that? Sgt. Collins.

Uh, is that all, sir? Not quite.

I have approval to give

a company party for the men.

You pitch in and give

the mess officer a hand.

Yes, sir.

The captain wants to get the party

started on time, so snap to it.

Yes, sir.

Brown, Smith.

Yes, sir. Get that stuff out of the way.

You and Brown set up...

Where's Brown? Okay, Sarge.

Brown.

Yes?

Brown?

Yes, sir.

Where is that...

Brown.

What do you want?

Come here.

Where is he? He's looking for you in there.

Where is that imbecile?

I can't find him. Didn't I always

tell you that he was a dope?

Didn't I?

Right?

Brown?

Sergeant,

did you call me?

What do you think?

How's Evey? Evey's all right.

And so's anybody else who

stays away from you guys.

Get busy and set up that buffet table.

Snap to it.

Ooo-ooo-ooh.

'Oh' what?

Okay.

Get that thing out of here. I'll get

this sawhorse. You mean sea horse.

Sawhorse. Sea horse. We're on

a boat. Oh, Slicker, tsk, tsk.

Oh, go ahead.

Come on. Give me a hand with this table.

Don't drop it.

Pick it up. Attaboy.

Is it too heavy?

No.

Swing it around.

Attaboy. That's swell.

Get that tablecloth over there. Hurry up.

Come on, throw it over the table. Huh?

Throw it over the table. What are

you doing? Throwing it over the table.

Go get that tablecloth.

All right.

Come on. Get it up here. You take that end.

Herbie, when they serve the food,

don't reach for it. Ask for it.

Ask for it? You have a tongue, haven't you?

Yes, but I can reach

much further with my hands.

Go get the silverware.

Hurry up.

C'mon,

snap into it.

Get the turkey. You're

worse than the sarge.

Get with it.

Look, put it over in the center

here. You know, dress it up.

Take the bread. Now

you're doin' something.

Yeah, mama's little helper. You're all right.

Now let's see...

the cake.

You take the cake. Stop. Don't

touch it. That cake's for the boys.

And don't drop it. Be

careful. Is it too heavy?

It's all right.

What did I tell you?

Didn't I tell you to stay outta that cake?

I don't understand it. Don't

tell me what you understand.

I told you it was for the boys, didn't I?

Wipe your mouth off.

It's on your chin, nose...

I...

Oh, you went at it again,

huh? Get outta there.

I told you not to touch that cake. I didn't.

Get that silverware around

the table. Spread it around.

I might as well shave.

Spread that silverware.

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