Bubble Boy

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Hi. My name's Jimmy Livingston.

My mom says when I was born,

I came gift-wrapped from heaven.

- Whoa! Whoa!

- Well, I guess this is growing up

My first memories are kind of hazy.

All I remember is a place

with white walls...

...bright lights

and a gigantic bird.

I was there because I was born

with no immunities.

A single germ could kill me.

But when I was four...

...my mom took me home...

...to beautiful Palmdale, California.

Mom helped me

make friends right away.

Let's go.

Get him in!

Our house was enormous

like a castle...

...and for the first time,

I felt completely free.

There.

Now you're safe

from that evil, filthy world.

You're home, Jimmy!

And you'll never, ever...

...ever have to go out there again.

Look at that.

Look what Mommy made for Jimmy.

I had a big room with my own bed,

lots of toys...

...and two pairs of retractable arms.

"And the prince climbed

to the top of the tower and said...

'Come with me and

we'll live happily ever after.'

And Rapunzel

left her plastic bubble...

...and died."

The end.

Those evil doctors.

Nobody's gonna get any germs

on my little boy now.

You'll always stay pure.

Won't you, Jimmy?

Jimmy! Breakfastie!

I had my reading.

I wish they had more

than one magazine in the world, Mom.

So do I, dear.

My favourite TVshow,

Land of the Lost.

- I wish TVs had more than one channel, Mom.

- So do I, dear.

And I had the best teacher

in the whole, wide world.

And then the Indians decided

to move to the reservations...

...where they could open casinos

and sell tax-free cigarettes...

...and stay out of

the white man's way.

Another A-plus.

The neighbourhood kids always wanted

to hang at my house.

Lives in a bubble

Smells like poop

Bubble Boy, Bubble Boy.

Get out of here,

you little buggers! Go on!

- But I liked to hang with my dad.

- Holy mother of sh*t, Morton!

Are you trying to kill him

with that thing?

Jimmy, lunchie.

Supper time was the best. Nothing could

beat Mom's home-made, vitamin-rich...

...soy-based, germ-free,

fat-free fibre cookies.

Mmm, mmm.

I grew up like any other kid.

At 16, I didn't get a car...

...but I did get an electrical

rock-music guitar!

I can't believe

the things I found

I need to find my way

I'm lost, I'm lost

I do believe I'm living

In the Land

Of the Lost

I'm living in the Land

Living in the Land

Living in the Land

Of the Lost

I was so happy. I had everything

a boy could ever want.

Until...

Chloe.

"And then Pinocchio

came out of his plastic bubble...

...touched the filthy

little whore next door and died."

The end.

Ooh, baby

Ahh, oh, yeah

Over the next few years,

I washed my window a lot.

Ahh

Ohh

Something was happening to me,

but I didn't know what.

Mom!

Jimmy, what's the matter?

What happened?

Are you all right?

- What is it?

- Oh, my God!

Don't touch it!

Hands off!

- Now, just relax. Don't get upset.

- It hurts!

Just do what I tell your father. Just say the Pledge

of Allegiance over and over until it goes away.

Come on.

I pledge allegiance to the flag

of the United States of America...

...and to the republic for which it stands

one nation under God, indivisible...

...with liberty

and justice for all.

I pledge allegiance to the flag

of the United States of America...

...and to the republic

for which it stands...

...one nation under God...

Thanks, Mom.

You can't touch this

You can't touch this

You can't touch this

- Can't touch this

- Dude! You live next door to the bubble boy.

Hey, you know what I heard? The only

thing that kid can drink is his own urine.

- Oh, yeah. True story. Swear to God.

- I heard the same thing, man. It's gross.

Then what did he drink

in the first place to make the urine?

Well, it would, um...

Tell her.

Shotgun!

He's not a monster, you guys.

He's just a boy in a bubble.

I am not a monster.

I'm a human being.

- Bye, Lisa.

- Bye, Chloe.

I wish I was

the boy in her bubble.

Let's hit the arcade.

Hi. Mr Livingston?

I'm Chloe.

I live next door.

Oh, my gosh!

- Are you okay?

- What?

Wait.

No, no, no. Don't...

I was just playing.

I was just playing.

Mayday!

You know, that.

Oh.

Was that Pakuni you were speaking,

from Land of the Lost?

- I love Land of the Lost.

- I love you too.

It! It too.

I love it too.

- I'm Jimmy.

- I'm...

- Chloe, the whore next door.

- What?

- Where did you hear that?

- My mom. She teaches me everything.

Well, really, she got it wrong. I'm

actually more of a b*tch than a whore.

A b*tch.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

A b*tch.

Absolutely, a b*tch.

Yeah.

You play guitar?

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.

Uh, do you wanna try it?

Oh, no, I don't know how.

I could teach you.

Right now.

I can't right now, but...

I should go.

How about tomorrow?

Oh, Jeez, I don't know.

I don't know, b*tch.

I got a lot to do.

See you tomorrow. Bye.

She's certainly proud

of those boobies, isn't she?

Something tells me she's not the kind

of friend Jesus would pick, Jimmy.

When I look

All a

Round

- I suck.

- No, no, you don't. Come here. No.

- You have to just press

harder. - Okay. - Harder. Here.

- Like... - Now

go. Now go. - Okay.

- Harder.

- When I

Look

All around

- Round

- I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America...

...and to the republic for which

it stands, one nation under God...

- Everything okay?

- Yeah. Let's go.

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