Browsers script
Browsers  Episode #Pilot (2013)
Synopsis: Written by 12-time Emmy-winning comedy writer David Javerbaum (The Daily Show) and directed by Don Scardino (30 Rock), Browsers is a musical comedy set in contemporary Manhattan that follows four young people as they start their first jobs at a news website and features actress Bebe Neuwirth.

COLD OPEN:

A COMPUTER SCREEN.

FF shot of the homepage of Gush, a fictional website modeled

on The Huffington Post. The banner headline reads “This Is

Our Youth?”. The subheadline reads “Unpaid Interns Launch

Uncertain Future at Gush”. Between these two are photos ofthe people we’ll soon know as KATE, JOSH, GABE and PRUDENCE.

An iMac-style cursor clicks on the headline. After a second

the ‘article’ page of the story appears with a video box. Thecursor clicks on the ‘play’ button, then the ‘full frame’corner-box. Video fills the screen:

EXT. ASTORIA, QUEENS - MORNING

ESTABLISHING SHOTS OF AN ORDINARY SEPTEMBER MONDAY MORNING.

KATE, 22, ATTRACTIVE, NEUROTIC, CASUALLY DRESSED, WALKS OUT

OF HER APARTMENT BUILDING DOOR ONTO THE STREET, WEARING

EARPHONES. DISNEYESQUE MUSIC BEGINS WHEN SHE CLOSES THE DOOR;

THOUGH LOUD, IT SOUNDS LIKE IT’S COMING FROM HER EARPHONES.

SHE SINGS TO THE CAMERA, MUSICAL-THEATERY OVER-THE-TOP CHEERY

AT FIRST, BUT QUICKLY LOSING CONFIDENCE.

KATE:

Hello, Monday morning!

Oh, how wonderful you feel!

You’re just like me: you’re breezy,

bright, and sunny!

And although I may be slightly stressed,

And my heart is pounding in my chest,

And I got four hours of sleep at best,

And I'm either manic or depressed,

And I'm overwhelmed and underdressed...

(The music ends awkwardly.

She looks at herself)

Under-underdressed, actually. Like,

slut.

(Looks at her chest)

Aaaand I’m nippin’ out. So dumb

slut.

(Turns around, walks away)

Headlights on and nobody home.

(Keeps walking away)

I should not be trusted with me.

SHE KEEPS WALKING FOR AN AWKWARD SECOND.

BROWSERS - 10/25/12

EXT. ASTORIA, QUEENS - MORNING

THE EXACT SAME ESTABLISHING SHOTS. ONCE AGAIN KATE EMERGES,

THIS TIME IN DRESSIER CLOTHES, AND TO LESS DISNEYESQUE,

“REALER” MUSIC THAT SOUNDS MUCH FULLER. NO ONE ELSE NOTICES

HER OR EXPRESSES AWARENESS THAT SHE’S SINGING AS SHE WALKS.

KATE:

Hello, Monday morning.

So listen, here’s the deal:

I am starting at a job that pays no

money.

I’m twenty-two and I live in Queens,

INT. - TINY DISHWASHER OF KATE’S APARTMENT

A DIRTY PLATE OF RICE AND BEANS SITS IN THE DISHWASHER NEXT

TO AN OPEN BOTTLE OF SUNKIST.

KATE (V.O.)

I’ve been eating nothing but rice andbeans,

EXT. - SUBWAY ENTRANCE

KATE DESCENDS DOWN A SUBWAY STAIRCASE.

KATE (O.S.)

And I'm kind of lost, and a bit confused,

But I can’t help feeling amused

INT. - SUBWAY PLATFORM

KATE SINGS, ONE OF MANY PEOPLE WAITING FOR THE TRAIN.

KATE:

That this is my life!

Don’t know what I'm doing in it,

But it’s my life!

The approaching train virtually drowns out her next line.

KATE (CONT’D)

Growing closer by the minute!

INT. - CROWDED SUBWAY CAR

KATE:

(Straphanging)

This is my life,

Which I'm stalling

‘Til my calling

Makes a call.

But for now, I'm gonna fake it after all!

BROWSERS - 10/25/12

Excited, she takes off her earphones and flips them into theair Mary Tyler Moore-style. They land on a man next to her.

KATE (CONT’D)

I am so sorry!

INT. - KID’S BEDROOM IN MAPLEWOOD, NJ

A NOTE FROM THE SONG SEGUES INTO AN ALARM CLOCK GOING OFF.

JOSH, 23, NERDY, ROLLS OVER AND TURNS IT OFF. HE STARES AT

THE CEILING. AT FIRST, HIS LIPS DON’T MOVE WHEN HE SINGS; HE

IS “THINKING” THE SONG.

JOSH (V.O.)

Hello, so-called...

(Makes “finger-quotes”)

“real” world.

(Note the quotes around the “real.”)

Hello Dad’s new girlfriend screaming

A KNOCK ON THE DOOR.

DAD’S NEW GIRLFRIEND (O.S.)

Mornin’, honey!

WE NOW SEE JOSH IS SLEEPING IN A BLANKET WITH A HUGE IMAGE OF

WORF FROM STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE. RAPID CUTS SHOW HE’S IN

HIS CHILDHOOD BEDROOM - CHILDHOOD PHOTOS, STACKS OF BEAT-UP

SCI-FI NOVELS, A RECENTLY-ADDED COLLEGE DIPLOMA.

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David Javerbaum

David Javerbaum is an American comedy writer. Javerbaum has won 13 Emmy Awards in his career, 11 of which he received for his work on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. more…

All David Javerbaum scripts | David Javerbaum Books

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"Browsers" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2017. Web. 14 Dec. 2017. <http://www.scripts.com/script/browsers_16>.

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