Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason Page #4

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Good. You know what a fan I am

of any woman married to Mark Darcy.

- That's not funny.

- Seriously, though, Jones,

speaking purely unselfishly,

I worry about you.

You do know that it's a fact that

most lawyer's wives die of boredom?

And what about you?

Still shagging anything that moves?

As a matter of fact, no.

No shagging whatsoever.

I'm in shag therapy.

It turns out I have a problem. I go

to meetings, talk about my feelings.

Hug people who smell.

- I don't believe you.

- I'm trying...

...to be a better man, Bridge,

so that the next time

a better woman comes along,

I won't make a pig's ear of it.

Daniel. Meeting?

Yeah, yeah. Thanks.

Very good hair, Jones.

By the way, um, you're not free

for dinner tonight, are you?

No, I'm not.

I'm going to the Law Council Dinner.

It's a very important evening.

I can't wear that.

Bridge, do you want to get married and

have babies before you become barren?

Trust me...

Magda:
My only grown-up

friend. Married to Mark's partner.

She actually got engaged

on the night of the Law Council Dinner.

Try it with the dress.

Oh, my God!

Remember, we are trying to reduce

your body size by 15 per cent.

You hold the front, I'll hold the back.

One, two, three...

What's going on in there?

Not too bad, actually.

Tra-la!

Fantastic.

Right, let us begin.

I am going to make you into a princess.

Goody.

Nothing like being

in the hands of a total genius.

Wow.

- Whatever you do...

- Bugger it.

...don't iron your hair.

It's a lot worse than I thought.

We could flatten it with Brylcreem.

What about a wig? Lawyers love wigs.

- I preferred you in the gold.

- No, whatever you do, not the gold.

Great. I'm late with mad hair and can

barely breathe in scary knickers.

La la la

La la la la la...

Oh, God. I'm very worried.

What if someone says "Bridget Jones,

get out of here, you are ridiculous"?

Stop it.

The most important thing, of course,

is to look absolutely wonderful

and make a magnificent entrance.

I just can't get you out of my head...

Hi. Sorry I'm late.

- Hello.

- I think you should go to the ladies.

But I went before I left home.

Trust me on this one.

Oh.

Not good.

All right, tiny make-up mistake,

but I always have wit and conversation

to fall back on.

Thank you.

- Bridget.

- Hello.

Derek, Horatio, Camilla.

- Horatio?

- Yes, Horatio.

Horatio was just saying

he's totally against charitable giving.

- What?

- Well, obviously you don't mean it.

Absolutely. Do you think it's helpful

to give a beggar fifty pence?

- Maybe he's just hungry.

- Don't be so naive.

The people you see outside the tube

every day are there by choice.

- End of story.

- Oh, no, it's not.

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