Boys on the Side script
Synopsis: After breaking up with her girlfriend, a nightclub singer, Jane (Whoopi Goldberg), answers a personal ad from Robin (Mary-Louise Parker), a real estate agent with AIDS, seeking a cross-country travel partner. On their journey from New York City to Los Angeles, the two stop by Pittsburgh to pick up Robin's friend Holly (Drew Barrymore), who is trying to escape an abusive relationship. With three distinct personalities, the women must overcome their differences to help one another.

SCENE 1

JANE:

Thank you. I'm Jane DeLuca, this is Johnny Figgis,

and our band.

MAN:

I'm going to take a leak, Babe.

WOMAN:

Bye.

JANE:

Did you see that bitch, man?

JOHNNY:

Fuck her.

JANE:

I'm going to fuck her!

JOHNNY:

Wait! J...J...Jane!

JANE:

Girl, that man is so fine!

WOMAN:

Yeah, actually he is.

JANE:

Is this your first date?

WOMAN:

Mm hm. Listen, do you need to clear something? Go

ahead and take everything, just leave us the glasses.

JANE:

No, I was the singer up there. You didn't see me? I

was like signaling and going like this to you.

WOMAN:

What are you talking about?

JANE:

You don't know? Oh Baby! You had the biggest,

greenest thing hanging out of your nose, so I kept

going like this.

WOMAN:

Oh my God. You could see it from up there?

JANE:

Baby, it looked like Gumby doing Tarzan. It was huge!

WOMAN:

Oh my God! All right.

JANE:

You know.

SCENE 2

MAN:

You blew my rent, man! I had an important A &R guy

coming down and you fucked me! You know what? You're

outta here! You're canceled! Forget it!

JOHNNY:

No, you can't...Hey, wait!

MAN:

Wait for what? Till you learn to sing?

JANE:

What's up with him? What did he want?

JOHNNY:

You wanna know what's up with him? That son-of-a-

bitch just fucked us!

SCENE 3

JANE:

You know, this town is dead for me anyway. We got

that gig in L.A., we'll just leave a little early.

JOHNNY:

Yeah, well maybe this is trying to telling us

something. You know what I'm saying?

JANE:

Yeah, it's telling us we're fucking fired! That's

what it's telling us.

JOHNNY:

Well, no, not just this. I mean, maybe L.A. isn't the

answer to our problems.

JANE:

Well, what does that mean?

JOHNNY:

Well, Tommy hooked me up with some studio work in the

city. It's good money. It's in the city. And I've

got to think of Debbie here, you know?

JANE:

Oh, Debbie? Isn't that the little girl in Queens who

sets her hair everyday, this is suddenly a factor?

TAXI:

Yo! Get the fuck outta the way!

JANE:

You get the fuck out of my way! Do you understand?

Go back to Pakistan!

JOHNNY:

Look, I've gotta be realistic here, all right? I've

got to look ahead. I mean, how long have you've been

doing this shit? What, for seventeen years? Look...

JANE:

Look, what? Look, what?!

JOHNNY:

I don't want that to happen to me, okay?

JANE:

You should be so lucky!

JOHNNY:

Hey, I got priorities here, you know!

JANE:

You know, she's holding you back, man. Everybody says

it. She's like Yoko with bangs!

JOHNNY:

They don't say that she's holding me back, okay?

Look. All I'm saying is, don't go to L.A. All right?

I mean, even if you don't got shit going on here, you

still got all that voice-over stuff...

JANE:

Let me tell you something, man. You stay here. You

stay here and you play daddy, okay? I'm gone.

JOHNNY:

Jane!

SCENE 4Jane is packing her things, finds an

advertisement in the newspaper asking for a driver to

drive to the west coast.

SCENE 5

JANE:

That was in '78. I was supposed to be the new Aretha,

but the old Aretha was the new Aretha and I was

neither one, so I was something that no one had ever

seen before.

ROBIN:

Sure.

JANE:

So I'm gettin' the fuck out! (To waitress): Could I

get some french fries, please?

WAITRESS:

Coming right up.

JANE:

You know, head down to L.A., get some gigs going, get

the heat happening.

ROBIN:

Well, great. That's perfect because I can drop you

there, and then head on to San Diego on my own.

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)Say it

Don Roos

Don Roos was born on April 14, 1955 in New York, USA. He is a writer and director, known for Marley & Me (2008), The Opposite of Sex (1998) and Bounce (2000). He is married to Dan Bucatinsky. They have two children. more…

All Don Roos scripts | Don Roos Books

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Translation

Translate and read this script in other languages:

Select another language:

Discuss this Boys on the Side script with the community:

Citation

Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

Style:MLAChicagoAPA

"Boys on the Side" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2017. Web. 13 Dec. 2017. <http://www.scripts.com/script/boys_on_the_side_698>.

We need you!

Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!