Boy Meets Girl

Let's go swimmin'

before it gets too chilly.

Some of us have

to work for a livin'.

And normal people

get Sundays off.

Well, some of us normal people

have to work seven days

a week to save money.

And besides, you need

to start workin' a little harder

to keep me interested

in hangin' out with you.

Watchin' you troll for girls,

while barely tolerable

in high school,

has officially lost

its last little bit of luster.

Hey, hey!

I just invited

you to go swimmin'.

Yeah, euphemistic for watchin'

you text at the swimmin' hole,

as opposed to the coffee shop.

And, besides, it's pointless.

You've dated every girl

in the state of Kentucky.

I mighta missed one.

And, please, yo-you spend

as much time trolling for dudes

as I do trolling for girls.

Yeah, but, unlike you,

I'm not just lookin' for sex.

I wanna find love, get married.

I haven't even

found one good guy

who doesn't wanna

just get in my pants.

Maybe I should date girls.

How bad could it be?

I'm a fan.

Check one out

and see how you like it.

At least she'd be sweet.

And considerate.

And emotional.

Not just a dog, like all y'all.

Hey, I am very fond

of every one I go out with,

regardless of how long

the relationships last.

Now, you know, sometimes

likin' someone isn't enough

and you gotta break up.

Kinda quickly.

But it doesn't

make me a bad guy.

No, just a guy.

Hey, how's it goin'?

What can I get ya?

You have the prettiest hair.

I always wanted to try those

straight-across bangs like that.

Yeah, and you know I've

always wanted to try wearin'

a big ole sparkly

engagement ring like that.

Yeah, well, you know the grass

is always greener, I guess.

- So...?

- Oh! Right.

May I please have a double latte

caramel frappuccino, please.

Sweetheart,

Starbucks is on Montague Street.

We sell coffee here.

Oh, right. Um,

- well, may I have...

- Tread lightly now.

- Um, a ca- cappa...

- Cap...?

Chino?

Yes, you may.

So,

you've never been

married or engaged, even?

Mm-mm. No.

I mean, I do, but most of 'em

I'm not really attracted to

and the ones I have been

always seem to get cold feet.

Oh, God, men.

The very thing they want most

is the very thing

they're most afraid of.

Ain't that the truth.

- Commitment.

- Dick.

Oh, well, I mean that, too,

but it's a distant second.

Did you say

what I think you just said?

Mmm, that commitment's

a distant second?

No. Before that.

That men want dick

but are afraid of it.

Okay.

Apparently you did.

Two-fifty, please.

Thank you.

Do you- do you have a lot of

guy friends confide this in you?

I-I mean how do you know that

they're telling you the truth

and not just messin' with you?

'Cause if I weren't,

I'd have a big ole gorgeous

ring on my finger by now.

I don't follow.

That's my mom.

We're late for church.

Oh, I understand.

It was real nice

talkin' with you.

And you.

I'm Francesca, by the way.

Ricky.

Ricky and a rich girl

sittin' in a tree,

k-i-s-s-i-n-g.

Oh, f*ck off.

Hell, why not?

She was sexy as hell.

In that kinda way.

What kinda way?

Oh, come on.

You grew up here

your whole life, too.

Wait a minute, wait a minute,

let me get this straight now.

You are gonna judge her

because of the kinda family

she may or may not come from?

Does come from.

Rich, Republican, debutant.

Oh, you are unbe-

You-you-you want peop- no,

you demand people judge you

by the content of your character

and nothin' else,

yet you're gonna dismiss her?

Because of what, what

kinda family she comes from?

It's different.

She was sweet and respectful

and friendly and liked you.

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