Boo 2! A Madea Halloween Page #3

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Madea, I'm not talking

about that. Okay? Thanks.

So, baby, so, you said that

they bought her a car for "pree"?

- For what?

- A car for "pree."

Ain't no P-R in "free," honey. "Free. Free."

Not one dime

did she have to pay for it. Yeah.

I was pimpin' hard to get my first Cadillac.

I had so many hoes out on the street,

I couldn't even keep count.

I had every ho from every nation.

Yeah, they used to call me NATO.

[BAM] What do you mean, "NATO"?

You don't know

what the hell NATO is? Damn, Bam.

NATO. I'm the National Pimp Association

that tolerates all the old hoes.

- [BAM] Oh!

- Yeah, NATO.

What the hell? [CHUCKLES]

[MADEA] Hush all of that.

Well, baby, a car is a nice thing

even though she got it for free.

No, it's not. It's not a nice thing.

Why not?

She's not responsible. Tiffany can't drive.

Duh, Brian.

You supposed to teach her

how to drive, honey.

I tried to teach her. I tried to teach her.

What did she do?

I was teaching her how to parallel park.

I said, "Put it in reverse

and back up," she hit a tree.

She hit a tree? Why?

I said, "Why'd you do that?"

She said, "I didn't hear the beeps."

Oh, yeah.

[MADEA] What you talkin' about, "Oh, yeah"?

What do you know about a damn beep?

Mabel, the new cars nowadays...

She don't know.

New cars nowadays, honey,

they beep when you start going

backwards, baby.

That's all, honey.

But you wouldn't know nothin' about that

'cause you ain't got no nice car.

She done went off on you

about your raggedy-ass car.

[MADEA] You ain't talkin' about my Cadillac.

My Cadillac is special.

I worked hard for that Cadillac.

That pole was bent when I leapt up off of it,

working for that Cadillac. Do you understand?

I didn't have them

kind of poles back in my day.

Them silver, gold ones.

They had telephone poles,

and I snapped it one night

when I was doing my somersault.

It's called a helicopter.

Where you run up to it, and you grab it

by the bottom of your legs,

then you come on down.

That's what I did.

That's what bought my Cadillac.

Don't talk about my Cadillac.

And listen to me, my car is nice too.

If I'm backing up and I'm about to hit

somethin', I hear noise too.

It's from the bastard I'm about to hit.

Okay, and so now, what did you buy her?

Wait, that's a good question, Bam.

What'd you give her?

I know you got somethin'

that just wiped her out here.

You ain't gonna let her outdo you.

If she got a car, what you got?

I bought her some headphones.

[EXCLAIMS]

[EXCLAIMS]

[MADEA] I'm sorry.

Headphones like you put on your ears?

[BAM] That's what I...

Yes.

Oh, Brian.

[LAUGHING]

Now, don't you think that... that...

that made your little gift look like...

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