
Blue Mountain State: The Rise of Thadland
- R
- Year:
- 2016
- 90 min
- 276 Views
Hi, I'm Alex.
I play football for the
greatest college in the world,
blue mountain
state university.
We excel at three things here,
science, social awareness
and...
I'm kidding.
no one goes to class here.
This is Sammy,
he's my best friend.
That's Donnie,
he likes to drink.
Harmon, he likes drugs.
Mary Jo, she's a cheerleader.
This is Larry.
Ah, what can we say about
Larry? I don't know.
That's our coach.
He's legendary.
Oh, and this is thad.
He was our team captain.
Great football player,
terrible person.
He just graduated and
I couldn't be happier,
because this is
my senior year.
Without question,
this is going to be
the greatest year of my life.
They call him the
where thad castle of blue
mountain state was selected.
Number one overall, a pick
that was widely regarded
to be enormously risky.
Now is he the most naturally
gifted linebacker we've seen
since Lawrence Taylor?
Yes.
Is he also the least naturally
gifted when it comes
to making decisions,
off the field?
An even bigger yes.
with thad castle
to discuss his new
fame and fortune.
Thad castle,
thanks for being here.
You're welcome
for having me.
Thad, let's just get
right into it,
multi-million dollar contract.
Peanuts.
Fifty million dollar
signing bonus.
Peanuts.
Are you calling
fifty million dollars
peanuts?
It's a good start,
but honestly,
I expected to be
making billions.
With a "b"?
No.
With a dollar sign.
Thad, what are you
gonna do with
all this money?
Probably just...
Make myself happy.
Like the other day,
I was feeling so down.
I almost cried.
I went out and
bought 97 guns.
I love guns.
I got a pistol,
a machine gun,
a call of duty gun,
a halo gun.
And I got a tank.
I got this one gun
that just shoots
for 45 seconds, straight.
Oh, also,
I bought a zoo.
I got wolves
and giraffes,
I got monkeys.
Mountain lions.
Woah!
Saber tooth tigers. I mean,
I figure what the hell?
If Matt Damon can buy a zoo,
so can thad castle.
How do you like
them apples?
I also got a dinosaur.
It's the, ah, the big monster
one with horns growing
out of its face.
A rhinoceros?
What?
With the horn,
a rhinoceros.
The dinosaur.
Yeah.
I got one.
Thad, talk to me
about Alex moran.
There's a lot of talk
questioning his ability
to lead the...
Mountain goat team.
Oh, ask me
about my shoes.
Hey, well, tell me
about your shoes.
They're called
"thadinators."
They're like Jordan's,
but in mine,
you can run higher
and jump faster.
Isn't it a run faster
and jump higher.
We're still working
on our slogan.
So which company
Uh, mine does...
Uh, thad company.
Thad company.
It's the same company
that makes my hats,
and waterproof shirts,
and condoms.
And also the
same company
that makes this
hall of fame jacket
you haven't even
asked me about yet.
Don't you think you should
wait until you get to
the hall of fame
before you wear
a jacket like that?
Oh, yeah. Don't you
think you should wait,
till you get in
the hall of fame?
Waiting is for pussies.
Well, there you have it.
Thad, meet the world...
Hey sloots,
say "hi" to the world.
Hey, world.
World, meet thad castle.
And we're out.
Somebody get my chopper!
Blue 16.
Blue 16.
Hey, o'brien!
I'm pretty sure if that
ball was an std you
would've caught it!
Sorry, coach.
Good throw.
Thanks, coach.
Let us go home.
What? What'd you say?
Hmm?
Another? You want me
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"Blue Mountain State: The Rise of Thadland" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 5 Mar. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/blue_mountain_state:_the_rise_of_thadland_4374>.