Blood Diner

Synopsis: Two cannibals/health food diner owners are on a wacky quest to restore life to the five million year old goddess Shitaar. Aided by their uncle's brain and penis, the two set about getting the required parts - virgins, assorted body parts from whores, and the ingredients for a "blood buffet". Their adversaries are the police: the chief with a Russian accent, the "player" detective, and the new Yorker with an Australian accent.

Genre: Comedy, Horror

Director(s): Jackie Kong

Actors: Rick Burks, Carl Crew, Roger Dauer, LaNette La France

Production: Lightning Pictures


IMDB:: 5.2
Rotten Tomatoes:: 50%

Collection Edit Watch PDF Buy

: UNRATED
Year:: 1987
: 88 min
: 28 Views

1
Crazy, crazy, crazy
Crazy, crazy, crazy over you
Umbadododo
Crazy, crazy, crazy
Crazy, crazy, crazy over you
Crazy - Ooh doo wa
I tell you that I'm crazy
- Ooh wa...
- So crazy that I'm hazy
- Doo wa
- Crazy over you
Crazy, crazy, crazy,
crazy over you
Ooh, crazy - Ooh wa
Without you, dear, I'm crazy
- Ooh wa...
- So crazy that I'm hazy
Crazy over you
Kids! I can't...
Where are
those little shit-heads?
There you are.
Now pay attention.
I'll be back in 20 minutes.
Don't open the door.
Don't let anyone in.
Going to the market.
Ran out of goddamn tampons.
We interrupt this program
to give you
an important news bulletin.
A suspect in the Happy Times
All-Girls Glee Club slaying
has fled the scene
and managed to elude the police.
He is armed and dangerous
and has been spotted
in the Westside area
armed with a meat cleaver
in one hand
and his genitals in the other.
We urge all residents to stay
inside and lock your doors
until the suspect
has been apprehended.
We now return you
to your normal programming
for your listening pleasure.
Oh, love
Will make your mind go wild
Make your mind go wild
Okay, George, I'm ready.
Go get Spunky.
Okay, Mike.
Aw, come on, George.
Stop fooling around.
Here, Mikey.
Look deep into my eyes, Spunky.
You are under my power.
You'll do as I say.
Make your mind go wild
Uncle Anwar! Uncle Anwar!
And how are
my two favorite nephews?
Great, Uncle Anwar.
I've been practicing my hypnotism
exactly as you said to
in your book.
Well, that's fine, Michael.
That's very fine.
And what about you,
George Forge'?
Look, Uncle Anwar. Yum yum.
Ah, why, George, you are going
to be a great chef one day.
Honestly, that looks good enough
to eat. Heh heh.
I have a surprise for you
You remember the story
I told you
about the ancient Lumerians?
And the goddess Sheetar.
Boy, that's our favorite story!
These are for you to keep.
Absolutely genuine...
- Ooh.
- Lumerian amulets.
Take good care...
for they are
over 5 million years old.
Anwar Namtut...
- Wow! Keen!
- We know you're in there!
I'm afraid your Uncle Anwar
- is in a bit of a pickle...
- Detective Paul Stanton...
so I'll have to go
and straighten things out.
What's the matter, Uncle Anwar?
I want you to promise me
you will never forget me
or all the things I taught you.
And study your book hard
for Sheetar.
Can't you stay and play?
We have the house surrounded.
No. Got to go.
Love you, boys.
We know you're in there!
Time's up, Anwar!
We're coming in!
There he is.
Hold your fire.
Drop the cleaver, Anwar!
He's coming!
Sheetar!
Hey.
Shh.
What's going on?
Hey, what's going on?
Uhh!
Boo.
Bull's-eye!
Hey, Mikey.
Come on, Georgie.
Stop screwing around.
We have work to do
for Uncle Anwar.
What now, Mikey?
Okay. Open up the coffin.
Sit him up.
Whoa.
You see? He's happy to see us.
Give me the hacksaw.
Damn thing's stuck. Georgie,
give me a hand, will ya?
Whoo!
We got it.
What now, Mikey?
"The resurrection from the veil
of chaos and darkness
has come again, Sheetar."
- ls it working, Mikey?
- I don't know.
This type of thing
hasn't even been tried since...
5 million years, you morons.
And how are
my two favorite nephews?
- Anwar? Uncle Anwar?
- Of course.
- It's Anwar. Anwar.
- Who do you think it is?
Oh, it's Anwar! We did it!
- Uncle Anwar!
- We did it!
We did it! Georgie, it's us!
Quit fucking around, you two!
- We have work to do.
- It's... Mikey!
Oh, my God.
Oh, I can't believe it.
Oh, my God.
Grave robbers,
maniac grave robbers,
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