Blood Diner

Synopsis: Two cannibals/health food diner owners are on a wacky quest to restore life to the five million year old goddess Shitaar. Aided by their uncle's brain and penis, the two set about getting the required parts - virgins, assorted body parts from whores, and the ingredients for a "blood buffet". Their adversaries are the police: the chief with a Russian accent, the "player" detective, and the new Yorker with an Australian accent.
Genre: Comedy, Horror
Director(s): Jackie Kong
Production: Lightning Pictures
Rotten Tomatoes:
88 min


Crazy, crazy, crazy

Crazy, crazy, crazy over you


Crazy, crazy, crazy

Crazy, crazy, crazy over you

Crazy - Ooh doo wa

I tell you that I'm crazy

- Ooh wa...

- So crazy that I'm hazy

- Doo wa

- Crazy over you

Crazy, crazy, crazy,

crazy over you

Ooh, crazy - Ooh wa

Without you, dear, I'm crazy

- Ooh wa...

- So crazy that I'm hazy

Crazy over you

Kids! I can't...

Where are

those little shit-heads?

There you are.

Now pay attention.

I'll be back in 20 minutes.

Don't open the door.

Don't let anyone in.

Going to the market.

Ran out of goddamn tampons.

We interrupt this program

to give you

an important news bulletin.

A suspect in the Happy Times

All-Girls Glee Club slaying

has fled the scene

and managed to elude the police.

He is armed and dangerous

and has been spotted

in the Westside area

armed with a meat cleaver

in one hand

and his genitals in the other.

We urge all residents to stay

inside and lock your doors

until the suspect

has been apprehended.

We now return you

to your normal programming

for your listening pleasure.

Oh, love

Will make your mind go wild

Make your mind go wild

Okay, George, I'm ready.

Go get Spunky.

Okay, Mike.

Aw, come on, George.

Stop fooling around.

Here, Mikey.

Look deep into my eyes, Spunky.

You are under my power.

You'll do as I say.

Make your mind go wild

Uncle Anwar! Uncle Anwar!

And how are

my two favorite nephews?

Great, Uncle Anwar.

I've been practicing my hypnotism

exactly as you said to

in your book.

Well, that's fine, Michael.

That's very fine.

And what about you,

George Forge'?

Look, Uncle Anwar. Yum yum.

Ah, why, George, you are going

to be a great chef one day.

Honestly, that looks good enough

to eat. Heh heh.

I have a surprise for you

You remember the story

I told you

about the ancient Lumerians?

And the goddess Sheetar.

Boy, that's our favorite story!

These are for you to keep.

Absolutely genuine...

- Ooh.

- Lumerian amulets.

Take good care...

for they are

over 5 million years old.

Anwar Namtut...

- Wow! Keen!

- We know you're in there!

I'm afraid your Uncle Anwar

- is in a bit of a pickle...

- Detective Paul Stanton...

so I'll have to go

and straighten things out.

What's the matter, Uncle Anwar?

I want you to promise me

you will never forget me

or all the things I taught you.

And study your book hard

for Sheetar.

Can't you stay and play?

We have the house surrounded.

No. Got to go.

Love you, boys.

We know you're in there!

Time's up, Anwar!

We're coming in!

There he is.

Hold your fire.

Drop the cleaver, Anwar!

He's coming!




What's going on?

Hey, what's going on?




Hey, Mikey.

Come on, Georgie.

Stop screwing around.

We have work to do

for Uncle Anwar.

What now, Mikey?

Okay. Open up the coffin.

Sit him up.


You see? He's happy to see us.

Give me the hacksaw.

Damn thing's stuck. Georgie,

give me a hand, will ya?


We got it.

What now, Mikey?

"The resurrection from the veil

of chaos and darkness

has come again, Sheetar."

- ls it working, Mikey?

- I don't know.

This type of thing

hasn't even been tried since...

5 million years, you morons.

And how are

my two favorite nephews?

- Anwar? Uncle Anwar?

- Of course.

- It's Anwar. Anwar.

- Who do you think it is?

Oh, it's Anwar! We did it!

- Uncle Anwar!

- We did it!

We did it! Georgie, it's us!

Quit fucking around, you two!

- We have work to do.

- It's... Mikey!

Oh, my God.

Oh, I can't believe it.

Oh, my God.

Grave robbers,

maniac grave robbers,

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    "Blood Diner" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 5 Mar. 2021. <>.

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