Blonde and Blonder

Synopsis: Dee and Dawn are two dim-witted, pink-clad, blond ladies whom meet by accident and try to make a living with their dull lives, until a series of circumstances ensue when after they unwittingly take jobs at a local strip club, they are mistaken for two deadly female brunette assassins known only as the Cat and the Kit whom are hired to kill the club owner whom is a mobster in a witness protection program. With two persistent, but inept, FBI agents on their tail, the ditsy Dee and Dawn try to stay one step head of the law, as well as try to figure out what is really going on.
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Dean Hamilton
Production: Empire Film Group
95 min

Oh, something's back there.



[laughing] You got one, too.

Oh! Thanks.

You're welcome.



Nice outfit. I meant to tell

you back there.


Yours, too.

They think I'm crazy

to get this for flying.

[scoffs] Me too. Shows

what they know.

Yeah. It's all about taste.

[giggles] I'm Dawn.


Cool. Dawn-Dee. [chuckles]

That's so cute.

I guess so.

Shall we take this baby up?

Sounds good to me.

So what's next?

Uh. We start the engine and we

take off into the sky.

Okay. They make it

sound so easy.

(Dee) That's how they

explained it to me.

(Dawn) Oh-uh, tell me if I'm doing

something wrong.

Okay. But I'm sure

you'll know first.

I'll just pay close attention.

[giggles] Wow, I feel like I'm

at Driver's Ed again.

Hey, great office supplies!

Oh, thanks.

That's a cute pen.


I want to take some notes.

Okay. Alright. So,

seatbelt, check.


Don't see any.

Um. Blinkers?


I'm just gonna get my book out. Okay.

Um. Alright.

Well, I turn on the master switch,

then the ignition?


Push the throttle.

[both laugh and yell]

(Both) We're flying!

Turn! Turn!

[laughs] I did it!

I can't believe it.

Okay. Miss St. Dom

and Miss Dee Twiddle.

We're gonna be flying over

some incredible sce--

Amazing? Incredible scenery.

[gasps heavily] No!


Ladies, stop the plane.

Ladies! Ladies!

Uh! Oh!

Stop the plane!

Alright, here we go!

Up, up and today!

[gasps and heaves] Oh-- Oh, God!

What's wrong, Frank?

Bernie's lost his mind. He took

off without clearance.


That'd be a first.

What the hell is he thinking?

You can ask him yourself.

Oh my God.

They took the plane.

Who took the plane?

Two blondes.




Oh my God.

We're flying!

I can't believe it!

Do you always get this

excited when you fly?

Yeah. Don't you?


So when did you start flying?

Well, today's my first lesson.

Really? Me, too.

Oh, that's funny.

Sean Bromley steps up to the tee,

he's an amateur in this

Pro Am Tournament,

and as you might see,

a par here could tie

him for the day.

Oh my God!

We're gonna crash!

Look at that!

What a shot!

Right for the pin.

A hole in one?

Could it be?

That's pretty freaking low.

Do something!


(Both) Turn it off!

We're gonna crash!

Run for your life!

Look out!



Ladies and gentlemen,

the airplane has just made a hole in one.

We're going up to the plane

right now

there are two people inside,

They're okay!

There are two women

who just came out of the plane.

They seem to be okay.

We come in peace.

They're blond.

Is there a lawyer in here?

Uh, I'm a lawyer!

Yeah, me too.

I'm a lawyer.

I'm a litigation attorney.

Yeah, right here.


the bastard's living in Vancouver.

Can you believe the nerve?

Took an add out using his real name.

"The Beaver Patch Lounge."

Seems like old Louie hasn't changed a bit.

But the Witness Protection Program don't

know nothing about this.

They will soon enough.

Let me take him out, boss.

It would give me great pleasure.


We need someone to move undetected.

Too many FBI protecting him.

In and out, in the blink of an eye.

The Cat's eye.

The Cat?

Who better to kill a rat?

The perfect assassin.

Still completely unknown even by me.

A mastermind killer with an IQ off the

scale of normal humans.

She's never failed.

Even her victims haven't

seen her. A ghost.

She's not completely unknown

we know she's a woman--

Don't interrupt me! Who's the freaking

Godfather here, huh?

I'm sorry, boss.


A ghost,

that never leaves a trace.

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Rolfe Kanefsky

Rolfe Kanefsky (born 1969) is an American film writer/director who specializes in horror films. more…

All Rolfe Kanefsky scripts | Rolfe Kanefsky Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "Blonde and Blonder" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 27 Jul 2021. <>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    The Marketplace:

    Sell your Script !

    Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!


    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.