Synopsis: Darryl is a childlike man with a genius for inventing various gadgets out of junk. When he stumbles on a method to make his clothes bulletproof, he decides to use his skills to be the lowest budgeted superhero of all.
Genre: Action, Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Mike Binder
Production: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment
Rotten Tomatoes:
92 min


Meet a real Fab family,

the Carrolls of Charleston, South Carolina.

I'm a fanatic about clean clothes.

That's why I'm glad for Fab.

Dummies. Borax won't work

unless you put active enzymes in.

You geek! How do you know all that?

- I'm not a geek.

- Yes, you are.

- Am not.

- Are too.

I'll show you geeky!

Hurry up, it's coming on!



Stupid old TV.

Holy bad reception, Batman. I'll fix it.

Hurry up or we'll miss it!


Where worms always go...

...down into the earth.

- ls it working?

- No, not yet.

That's it! Don't move.

Your glasses!

Remember, never hit a man with glasses.

- Even better. Perfect!

- Yes!

Yeah, keep flushing.

Back to back!

Who's playing with the toilet?

Kevin, is that you?

Boy! I'm going to peel the skin off

of your behind, boil it and make soup!

To the Batpoles!

What did I say?

Stay out of my kitchen!

Stop that, or I'm calling the police!

Shut up, you crusty old b*tch!

That must be your mama

you're thinking about.

Thanks for the help, lady.

- Help me. I'm hurt.

- Get off the car, you bum!

Kevin, is that your grandma...

- Good morning, Grandma.

- Don't good morning me.

You could've at least fed that little

heifer. Making all that noise last night.

Good thing you're so quick,

otherwise I'd never have gotten no sleep.

They were beating up a man in the alley

this morning. Cops did nothing.

Do you blame 'em?

They haven't been paid in two weeks.

That'll change when Assemblyman Harris

is elected mayor. You watch.

Grandma, one man cannot save the world.

I don't live in the world.

I live in this neighborhood...

...and Harris is the only candidate

to ever set foot in it.

- What do you want for breakfast?

- I'll just have some coffee. I got to run.

All you do is run. Now, come on, sit down.

Let your grandmother fix you

a nice hot meal.

We're not kids anymore, Grandma.

We're grown, remember?

- Good morning, Grandma.

- 'Morning, Poopski.

- 'Morning, Kevin.

- Darryl, man, come on.

You didn't sleep well last night, did you?

I heard you talking to yourself.

I was working on my latest creation.

A sound-activated,

aerodynamic insect predator.

- A what?

- A flying flycatcher.

You are a genius! Just like your mama.

May angels bless her soul.

One of these days he'll blow us up

with one of those damn inventions.

Shouldn't you be at work already?

- Wait, Kevin, I got something for you.

- I got to go.

It's okay! J-5 will bring it.

Make the turn, make the turn.

Watch out for Grandma.

There you go. Watch the wall.

- I've got to oil his ball bearings.

- You need to throw that in the trash.

- Here you go.

- What is that?

A two-way transceiver radio belt.

Put this in your ear...

...and talk into the buckle.

It also has a radio tracking device.

You need to get that out of my face.

I'm not wearing that crap.

- Please, Kevin?

- No!

Kevin. Come here.

- He's retarded!

- Come here!

He should invent some hair

for that bald head of his.


Give me the belt. I'll wear it.

No, you don't have to wear

my stupid old belt if you don't want to.

Darryl, please. May I wear your belt?

Are you sure

that you really, really want to?

Yeah, I'm really, really sure

I'd like to wear your belt.

'Cause you really, really don't have to...

...if you really, really don't want to.

And I'd be really, really upset if...

Give me the damn belt!

This is great, Kevin.

Now we can talk together all day long.

I'll be home late. I got a karate class.

I'll radio you in about an hour.

Then every hour on the hour after that

just to work all the bugs out.

Rate this script:(5.00 / 1 vote)

Damon Wayans

Damon Kyle Wayans Sr. (; born September 4, 1960) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and producer, and member of the Wayans family of entertainers. Wayans performed as a comedian and actor throughout the 1980s, including a yearlong stint on the sketch comedy series Saturday Night Live. His true breakthrough, however, came as a co-creator and performer on his own sketch comedy show, In Living Color, from 1990 to 1992. Since then he has starred in a number of films and television shows, some of which he has co-produced or co-written, including The Last Boy Scout and Major Payne, and the sitcom My Wife and Kids. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Blankman" STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 28 Sep. 2022. <>.

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