Blackadder: The Cavalier Years Page #2
- Year:
- 1988
- 15 min
- 358 Views
- Baldrick?
- Yes.
- That little job that fell into your lap...
- Yes.
It wasn't by any chance
something to do with an axe, a basket,
and the King of England?
- No.
- Go on.
I couldn't find a basket.
Please, sir, don't kill me. I have
a cunning plan to save the King.
Forgive me if I don't
do a cartwheel of joy.
Your family's record
in cunning planning...
...is about as impressive
as "Stumpy" Oleg McNolegs'...
...personal best in the
Market Harborough marathon.
All right, what's the plan?
A pumpkin...
is going to save the king.
But over here, I have one
that I prepared earlier.
I'll balance it
on the King's head, like this.
Then I'll cover his real head
with a cloak...
...and then, when I execute him,
instead of cutting off his real head,
I'll cut off the pumpkin
and the King survives!
- I'm not sure it's going to work, Baldrick.
- Why not?
Because once you've cut it off
you have to hold it up and say,
"This is the head of a traitor."
At which point, they'll shout back,
"No, it's a large pumpkin with
a pathetic moustache drawn on it."
I suppose it's not 100% convincing.
It's not 1% convincing.
However, I am a busy man...
...and I can't be bothered
to punch you at the moment,
Here's my fist, kindly run towards it
as fast as you can.
I just don't understand it.
What possessed you to take the job?
I'm sorry, sir. It was just
I thought with the money I got
from executing the King,
I could sneak out and buy a new king
when no one was looking...
...and pop him back on the throne
without anyone noticing.
Your head is as empty
as a eunuch's underpants.
You'd do anything for
It was a thousand pounds actually sir,
plus tip.
Well I suppose somebody's
got to do it, haven't they?
And when it's gonna be done,
it's got to be done in single stroke,
by someone
who actually owns an axe.
We don't want you hacking
away at it all afternoon...
...with your cheap penknife
of yours.
It would be so embarrassing
to have King Charles...
...staggering around Hampton
Court tomorrow morning...
...with his neck flapping
like fish's gills.
- Sir, you don't mean?
- Yep, I'm doing it.
Lend me your costume,
then go immediately to the King,
and inform him that Edmund Blackadder
cannot be with him tomorrow.
And make sure you think up
a bloody good excuse.
So that's why
he can't be here. Sorry.
I see.
I quite understand, yes.
Sir, the moment has arrived.
Are you ready to meet your maker?
I'm always absolutely fascinated
to meet people from all walks of life...
...but yes, particularly
manufacturing industry.
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Blackadder: The Cavalier Years" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/blackadder:_the_cavalier_years_4217>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In