Black Cadillac Page #5

- How'd y'all do?

- Oh, uh, we won.

Yeah, and next week,

on to the semis.

- There you go.

- ( chuckles ) Whoo!

- Whoo!

- ( bottles clanking )

Where did those

come from?

You guys!

Have you been drinking?!

All right, everybody.

Knock it off.

"Debate-off."

( chuckles )

Look, you guys saved

my sorry ass tonight

and I'm off-duty,

so just relax, all right?

And you-- selling out

your pals,

you little weasel.

( laughs )

C.J.:

Yeah, you little dipstick.

Yeah,

nice brother you are.

So what did you boys

do tonight? Did you

go to the roadhouse?

Hey, how'd you

know that?

Son, I too

was once underage.

Did you get lucky?

Of course you did.

If you can't get lucky

at the roadhouse

you might as well snip

it off and mail it in.

Well technically,

I got lucky.

- Yeah?

- Yeah. See, I was

dancing with this one

and she had a really

thick bra strap, you know,

- which indicates, you know,

pendulousness.

- Mm.

And her bra,

it was black,

you know? Oh!

And everyone knows

what that means, huh?

- Bonesville.

- Exactly! Yeah!

That's what I thought,

you know. But, uh,

her breath, it wasn't perfect,

but I was willing to make

allowances.

I was just at the city limits

when C.J. got into a fight

and all roads

to Bonesville...

- ( blows raspberry )

blockaded.

- Mm.

What was the fight over?

I have a lot

of unresolved issues.

Charlie:

Did you fight too?

- Only when I'm with C.J.

- Yeah, I'm the fighter.

- Scott's the lover.

( snorts )

- Charlie:
Mm.

Scott doesn't talk.

He's busy equating

silence with brilliance.

- That's smart.

- C.J.:
Yeah.

What is that,

Pez?

( laughs )

I haven't seen

one of these since...

Well, it's either Pez

or junk, Charlie.

- Yeah?

- Yeah, your call.

( chuckles )

What's that smell?

Smells like perfume.

Say...

you boys...

you ain't kinda, you know,

"funny," are you?

( laughs )

- Huh?

- ( C.J. lisping )

You're hilarious, Chaz.

- Sh*t.

- ( laughing )

You've got something

there on your

nice, clean

letter jacket, Scott.

Looks like lipstick.

- Right there.

- Mm.

Charlie:

Mm.

Lipstick

on your dipstick

Told a tale on you.

( laughing )

- It's ketchup, okay?

- Uh-huh.

Well, we can't have

the Yale jacket

besmirched.

That looms large

in his legend.

My brother--

All-Ivy League Quarterback,

two years running, Yale.

- Oh, great.

- Yeah.

The guys from the Browns

and Vikes are already

scouting him and Reebok--

Why don't we just pull

over and form a small

religion around the guy?

Maybe make him a shrine

of ice and call it

a night, huh?

Hey, look,

all I'm saying is...

it's more than

a letterman's jacket.

It's, uh...

- I don't know.

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