Black Butterfly Page #5

He's got a...

A date with a pretty girl.

But today is not gonna

be his lucky day.

He gets into it with some

pissed off truck driver

looking for trouble,

who frightens off the girl

and then gets into a fight

with the writer.

So for sure, this writer's

gonna get his ass kicked.

But then a stranger intervenes

and, uh, helps him out.

So the writer is driving

home, still a little shaken,

and he sees this stranger

walking along the road,

so, naturally, he pulls over

and gives the guy a lift.

The writer and the

stranger start talking

and the writer offers

the stranger some work

'cause he feels sorry for him.

But even then,

he's kinda concerned

'cause he doesn't

know who this guy is.

I mean, he could be anybody.

So by the time they

get to the house,

the writer's already beginning

to regret his offer-

no, no, no.

It's not like this.

Paul.

It's just a story.

Yeah.

Eh, it's a good start.

Go on.

You're the writer, man.

You write it.

But you gotta be committed.

Okay, sure, yeah.

When do you think

you'll be done?

Who said you could

read the script?

Why not?

Because I'm still

working on it.

You can't read this.

It's called a work

in progress, you know?

That's not the problem.

This story, the way it happens,

it's too easy.

- Too easy?

- Mm-hmm.

- It's exactly what happened.

- Really?

Are you sure about that?

he's just some guy standing

at the counter of a diner.

But what do we really

know about him?

What do we know?

You know, maybe, uh,

you know, maybe he

was partnered up

with the truck

driver who barged in.

Maybe they

worked it out in advance,

Jack and the truck driver.

You know, they said,

"when this guy comes in,

you start a fight with him.

Then I'll come in, save his ass,

and he'll be

eternally grateful. "

And later, in the parking lot,

what Jack whispers in his ear,

is, uh, "thanks, buddy.

Now he's mine. "

Then Jack takes

off down the road.

And then later the

writer's driving home,

so what does he do?

I mean, he wants

to be a nice guy,

so he offers him work-

so if, if Jack

had some kind of, uh,

relationship with the

truck driver, that,

that would be very interesting.

I mean...

You're the writer, right?

- Yeah.

- Maybe the truck driver

should come back into the story,

towards the end.

I have a better

ending in mind.

Hard to speak

a single word, isn't it?

That's where your script fails.

That was the only

way to show you.

The woman on the

run in your script,

she's about to have

her throat slit.

What the f***? And you have her

pleading with him.

If she reacted

like you just did,

that would be realistic.

I just wanted to

show you some real.

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