Bite Marks Page #3

Here outta be good.

What was that?

Better not be what I think it is.

What's the matter?

Hell if I know, Cary.

Didn't your GED exam

have a section on trucks?

You can't stay here! You're

trespassing, for sure!

Hey, this wouldn't

be a funeral home, would it?

Naw, we do Brazilian waxes.

What's the matter, son? You piss yourself?

Nah, like if I were an avocado at

a mosquito convention pissing on

a firecracker, how about that?

Now get that truck outta here!

Let me check something first.

Sh*t.

Hey, my front axle's broken.

I ain't going nowhere.

Well, you can come in the office with me.

We can call this mechanic I use sometimes.

I bet he could weld that axle together

long enough to get you to a garage, for sure.

I gotta call a mechanic. I'll be right back.

Don't... jizz on anything.

This here's the mechanic I use. Good guy.

Reliable. Fair prices.

Okay, okay. Sold.

Geez, does he give you a

cut for new business?

Yeah... ten percent.

You want some coffee?

Yeah... And a bathroom.

I've had to pee since dinner.

Well, you're in luck. Best

thing about being a man is-

the whole world's your toilet.

Why, out there, there are hundreds

of places you can drain the tank

and look at metal twisted into

shapes you never dreamed of.

It's like... it's like pissing in

an art museum.

It's gonna take him days

to get that axle fixed.

I say we sleep here tonight, and head

out on our own again in the morning.

What, and just leave him?

We just met the guy.

It's not like we're gonna

follow him on Twitter.

Besides, have you noticed

how he's been acting

since we left the diner? Something's wrong.

You're imagining things.

I say we stick it out with him.

Why?

Did you hear that?

Yeah... what the heck was it?

It's coming from the trailer.

I'm gonna go see what it is.

Don't! Vogel, wait!

Let's see what's inside.

Do you want your balls chewed off?

You always know how to turn me on.

Give me the flashlight.

That's your flashlight?

You couldn't give a hamster

a colonoscopy with that!

We're hiking crosscountry,

not going spelunking!

Give me the cell phone.

I thought it had a flashlight.

I didn't download the app.

Great! Thirty different fart noises

but he couldn't download a flashlight!

Are you coming?

I love you.

Me, too.

Careful! It's slippery!

It's like the backroom

of the Man Cave in here.

Remember that?

That wasn't me.

What the hell? Turn it back on!

Press the button at the bottom.

Why won't it stay on?

It'll use up the battery.

They're not meant to be used as flashlights.

You should have downloaded the app.

There wasn't enough memory. Too much porn.

Yeah, well, I need the stimulation.

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