Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son Page #5

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Nosy and all in my business!

Wait up!

(WOMAN SINGING) You think you might

have a chance I don't think so

You telling me to be nice I don't think so

You wanna get in my pants I don't think so

(TRENT GRUNTING)

I don't think so

I don't understand

how we're gonna find a 4-inch

flash drive in 3-inch heels.

Canetti had a buddy who works here.

We start by finding out who that

is, and what they know.

Canetti.

Canetti, yeah.

Canetti said something to me right before he died.

He looked at me and he said...

What'd he say?

"It's in the music."

Yeah. You know, something like that.

And I thought he recognized my talent,

knew who the Prodi-G was.

"It's in the music"? Yeah.

Doesn't make sense,

just like everything else that comes out of your mouth.

What? I'm gonna tell you what don't make sense.

How they gonna let two fat ladies

go poking around this joint.

They have an opening for a house mother.

(IN GIRLISH VOICE) Say what?

(IN WOMANLY VOICE) Park your tush.

Tuck it! Right over there.

Hi, girl. Hi. Hi.

Hi.

She's expecting me. I's running a little late.

GAIL:
Come in!

May I help you?

Honey, it's me who's gonna help you,

and those poor, house motherless girls you got

just waiting for a positive role model.

Hattie Mae Pierce at your service,

but you can call me Big Momma.

Oh, yes. You e-mailed your rsum

for the house mother position.

Very qualified, but I think...

Well, thank you!

I will watch over those girls like they were my own.

But, Miss...

Big Momma, we haven't scheduled

any interviews, let alone...

(WHIMPERING)

Look at what those children did to me!

Performance art, my ass!

Beverly, what on earth?

Double-ply? A public school can afford double-ply

and I got to bring in my own Sweet'N Low?

Child, nobody deserves to be treated like that.

That's not the half!

Damn!

Child, you should quit while you

can still do a comb over.

No, Beverly, you promised us two weeks' notice.

You know, every day you don't demand

respect, you die just a little.

You die a little.

You know, she's right. Nothing's worth

living with those demon spawn!

"No child left behind."

Well, you watch me. I quit!

Can you start today?

Me? Oh, thank you! Sure!

Now, we don't pay very much.

Oh, don't worry about that.

Shoot, I grew up so poor,

we used to go down to Kentucky Fried Chicken

and lick other people's fingers.

Because we couldn't afford the chicken.

And you know, all the grease from

the chicken, we were like...

You know, there is one tiny little issue.

What's that?

Hey. What up?

Miss Gail, this is my great-niece,

Charmaine Daisy Pierce.

Hello. Hey.

So many girls! I feel like I'm at a Baskin-Robbins.

A festival of flavors!

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