Beyond the Valley of the Dolls

*Kelly opens singing*

A disgrace. Absolutely disgusting.

I'd like to cut that.

That was great, girls.

But rock 'n' roll is not my cup of poison.

I remember when I was a young man...

- I just don't understand those kids.

- If you had to listen to their music...

Did you see those chaperones?

They were built like Khrushchev.

- They weren't as bad as those D.O.M.'s.

- I got the money.

- 300 bucks.

- One more high-school hop and I split.

Hey, don't bogart the joint, friends.

Cool it, man. I need it more than you.

I don't know,

maybe all you need is love.

Casey, let's split. The principal's gonna

hit me with a few caps of acid.

- You coming?

- Yeah.

Do you believe those kids,

making it all the time?

Don't get so upset, Casey.

You know how Kelly is.

- Are you trying to make love to me?

- Hell no.

- Then what are you trying to do?

- I'm trying not to.

Well, if you wanna make love,

then let's make love.

Here?

No, in L.A.

- L.A.?

- Where is that?

- We'd get crushed.

- Not us.

- Smog. Can 't see.

- Climb a tall tree.

- Lousy traffic.

- Love to walk.

- No culture.

- Grooves.

- Cold and cruel.

- Swimming pools.

- Phony city.

- It's so pretty.

- Religious nuts.

- Takes all kinds.

- Noisy. Noisy.

- Soul-beat brother.

- Tinsel town.

- Solid city.

- Gaudy. Ugly.

- Gassy. Classy.

- Cheap anyhow.

- Yeah, like wow.

- Very dirty.

- Simon-pure.

- Dull scene.

- My dream.

- Square, hey.

- No way.

- Sick and low.

- Living show.

- It's got no class.

- Nothing but.

- Empty. No heart.

- Full, sweetheart.

- No-talent town.

- Don 't put it down.

- Junkie heaven.

- Not for me.

- Dishonest clowns.

- Sincere.

- Perverts. Fruits.

- Swingers. Kooks.

- Obvious. Stinks.

- Full-length minks.

- All strangers.

- Not all.

- Like who?

- My aunt.

- Since when?

- Since Aunt Susan.

- Oh, yeah?

- Rich Aunt Susan.

- B*tch Aunt Susan.

- Got my share.

- Of what?

- The bread.

- Cool head.

- So we go?

So go!

So all we need now

is your long-lost Aunt...

- What's her name?

- Her name is Susan Lake.

This batch has more snap.

Run the rest at the same ASA.

- Long distance, Miss Lake.

- Hello? Who?

Q-U-A-N-T. In London.

Yeah, that's correct.

As quickly as possible.

Susan, we must have a chat.

The bodice is so wrong.

- Doesn't she look like a cow?

- The fact is, Cynthia is not a boy.

Take off your bra, dear.

That will flatten you some.

Have her put it back on.

Betty, tell him it's impossible.

Gordon, she looks exactly the same

with or without the bra.

- Porter, explain this contract to me.

- We can't get three years, Susan.

They'll go two and a half.

The editor tells me that is final.

- People!

- I need some time with you.

Can we discuss it at dinner?

That'll give you time to talk to Vogue.

- Anything we can do for you?

- That's okay...

...I can come back.

- Out with it. We're not that frantic.

- I'm your niece.

- You're Catherine's daughter?

My name's Kelly Mac Namara.

Susan! Susan!

I am simply in a rage!

How did your mother learn

about Aunt Claire?

The Worcester paper is where she heard

about Aunt Claire's death and about...

...you and Baxter Wolfe

and the inheritance.

- What inheritance was that?

- Mine. I was last in line after my sister.

Your mother disappeared. We were never

really close. I was 14 years younger.

But now that you've come along, Kelly,

I think that part of it should be yours.

Susan, you know there was

no provision in the will.

- Thousand Island?

- No, thank you.

You're a lawyer. You should

know that wills are just paper.

I'm a lawyer, yes. And any changes

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