Beyond the Poseidon Adventure

- I hope those lines hold.

- Hold on. Hold on, Wilbur.

Hold on to the wheel.

I'm sick.

- Shut that window, Wilbur.

- All right, I'm trying.

I'll help you, Wilbur.

Mike, look out.

Bloody hell.

Get her below, or I'll kill her.

- Hey, I was...

- I'm telling you!

Get her... Get her out of here!

- Get below!

- I'm going.

I don't understand you.

I'm going down now.

Get below.

Oh, God, not that.

What a hell of a way

to spend New Year's Eve.

How did you even

find someone like that?

Mike, I told you,

I didn't find her, she found me.

She saved my ass

the other night in a bar.

Two guys were trying to roll me,

and she comes up...

...and hits one over the head

with a bottle...

...and the other one, she just kicked

in that spot where it hurts most.

You should've seen her.

You should've been there.

It's okay, it's okay.

I caught her act last night.

Well, it could've been worse.

Remember that spider monkey

I brought aboard last year?

Sorry.

The only difference so far

is the real monkey didn't apologize.

Morning.

- Here.

- Good morning.

Good morning.

Hey, look, I'm really sorry

about last night.

Usually I'm totally terrific on boats.

- What's this supposed to be?

- Coffee.

Try again.

Listen, ace, it's not exactly

the Waldorf down there.

Mine's okay, Mike.

At least it's hot.

Try again.

If I'd known I was gonna be

sailing with Captain Bligh...

...I'd have stayed put

up in my chateau in the Riviera.

Chateau? Is that what

the other girls called it?

Hey, wait a minute.

Now, that's untrue and totally unfair.

- And absolutely, totally...

- I'm sorry, hon.

I really am sorry.

Yeah. I can see you are.

That's okay.

She's a good kid, Mike.

Really, she is.

She's just trying to get to Africa.

I know, I know.

But it'd be so much nicer if somehow

all of this was someone's fault.

Come on now. When we get back

to Marseille, you're going to the bank.

You'll extend the mortgage on the boat,

that's what you'll do.

Mike, losing your cargo in a storm

like that, the bank will understand.

Oh, sure.

In times of real trouble...

...one thing a man can depend on

is the sympathy of a bank.

Come on, now.

Hey, take a look up there.

Chopper, right?

French coast guard.

For them to be out this far,

some ship must be in big trouble.

What am I thinking, Wilbur?

- Tell me.

- Salvage.

- You're thinking salvage.

- Salvage, hell.

Salvation.

Some poor devil is stranded out there.

Get a fix on that chopper's course and

we'll follow it back where it came from.

I knew it.

I knew my luck couldn't be that bad.

Nothing was gonna get worse,

because nothing could've.

- Sorry.

- Jesus.

Look what I found.

- Happy New Year.

- I'll drink to that.

Oh, my gosh.

- All those people.

- Yeah, it's a lousy business...

...when someone's gotta die

before you can make a buck.

But, you know...

...all that salvage is gonna belong

to somebody. Why not us?

I hate to be this big party pooper,

but aren't we slightly overmatched?

This thing's gonna get a double hernia

trying to haul that thing back into shore.

We don't have to.

Not if the French coast guard

found a way in.

You're looking at

a four-star passenger liner...

...carrying hundreds of wealthy people

on a European cruise.

The only kind of salvage I want out of

there is the kind I can carry on my back.

And end up with what?

A bagful of credit cards and gold fillings?

Charming.

A quick trip down

to the purser's office.

That's where the money

and the jewels are.

Maybe even some gold.

In and out and I'll be on my way back.

That was an explosion inside the hull.

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