Beware the Gonzo

In the past week

I ruined my chance to go to college

I lost all my friends

I almost ruined my parents' marriage

The one girl l ever cared about will

probably never talk to me again

I also got my face kicked in

But...

after everything I've done

I probably got off easy

You believed in me

and I betrayed you all

Amy

I want you on band try-outs and theater auditions

It's Pippin this year, right?

Great show... Jules

I need you on the student parking permits

Please, they confuse the hell out of everybody

Can you do that for me?

There's a new cafeteria policy.

Due to last year's brawl at McDonald's

Nobody's allowed off school grounds for lunch

Not even the seniors.

We're stuck inside all year

That sucks

It's okay. I'm gonna do an op ed on that

Gonna interview the principal

it's obviously a hot-button issue

Kev, what do you got, bud?

Football and wrestling previews, Gav. And

I'd love to do a feature on the state wrestling champ

at a hundred sixty eight pounds

who happens to be you

Alright. Well you'll probably

gonna want photos with that

so meet me in the gym after school

I'll let you shoot me in my tux

I got a sports story

but it ain't no goddamn puff piece

It's gonna be in 2-inch type

right underneath the masthead

steroids

good to see you, Gilman

Steroids, huh?

I'm gonna go undercover on the

football team as assistant equipment manager

blow the lid right off this b*tch

I'm gonna find out who's juicing,

where they got the stuff

What evidence do you have that anyone's using steroids?

Statistics

It's an epidemic now on the high school level

the high school football team went 2 and 12 last year

nobody cares enough to cheat

maybe they don't wanna go 2 and 12 this year

ever think about that?

It's a ridiculous reach. Forget it.

At least read the data

I don't need to read the data. Thanks.

Who are you trying to protect?

Cough if up, Riley.

How far up does this thing go?

Take it easy, Oliver Stone. I just don't want you

bugging my friends with your bullshit

Okay, guys. These stories are due Friday.

You can just e-mail them to me, alright?

Okay, we table the steroids thing.

What am I gonna do?

You beat me out for editor, Riley,

but I still need to make my mark this year

First of all, Gilman, take a giant step back

You're in my area. We discussed this

Okay

Why don't you just do a

simple 'back to school' piece?

'Another year dawns on Parker Prep'

whatever just

make sure you include the

changes on the academic calendar

Back to school piece

it's simple, it's elegant

I'll really to put my finger on

the pulse of the student body

Yes. Fine. Look, if it's good enough,

I'll even put it on the cover

Just don't get carried away

Gonzo Gilman with the Courier.

Another year dawns, let's talk about it

Gonzo Gilman with the Courier.

Do you have one minute?

Gonzo Gilman with the Courier.

What are your hopes and fears...

Gonzo Gilman with the Courier.

What are your hopes and fears for the new year?

I hope that you get out of my face

and I fear that you will not.

- Gonzo Gilman with the Courier. I was hoping

- No

- Can I quote you on that?

-No

Got her digits, man. Damn, she's hot.

My friend, Rob. You will have to

undress that girl with a small crane

You've no vision, Gonzo. Okay that girl loses

this much baby fat, she'll have the sweetest ass in the entire school

- And I will be leading the ground floor

- Hmm..interesting.

- You working on a story?

- Undercover. I told you.

- 2-inch type

- right underneath the mast head.

- Hi, Rob.

- Hey, gorgeous. Welcome back.

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