
Better Watch Out
Just your nose and
then we're done, Mr. frost.
You butt-fucker!
I'm a baby.
Boys! It's dinner time.
Come inside please.
Hey, mom.
I know I said that I would stay
home and pack tonight but...
Yeah, of course
I'm wearing headphones.
Anyway, yeah, so surprise!
I'm not home. Um...
The Lerners asked me to babysit.
What?
Sneak off and see Ricky?
Why would you, why would...
Shit!
Sorry.
Ashley!
Ashley, are you okay?
Hi, mom, no, no, no,
everything's fine.
It's just traffic.
Mom, look, I gotta go.
I love you.
Yeah, yeah,
come here, come here.
Come on, give me a challenge,
give me a challenge.
Oh, that's right, you can't,
'cause I'm the best.
Okay, here we go.
Damn, I'm on a streak!
"Want to put her in the mood?
Watch a horror movie.
"When we're scared,
our brains pump out dopamine
"the same chemical we release
when we're aroused."
So fear really makes girls wet?
Told ya.
Bam!
You believe everything
you read online.
It's like with the paint cans.
Oh, my god, are we seriously
back to the paint can debate?
I ended that last week.
I was unconvinced.
No, no, no, no, no,
we looked it up.
That er doctor said
that the paint can
would've smashed
the robber's face in.
Just admit you're wrong.
Only reason to read this
stuff is for the pictures.
It's a plus. I know
what women want.
Dude.
What?
She's, like, twice our age.
I really don't think
it's gonna happen.
Five years. Big deal.
My parents are five years apart.
You don't get it.
Luke, Ashley's a ten.
A solid ten.
And you're like a fi...
Never mind.
She likes me, I know it.
It's tonight or never.
Okay, go ahead.
But my brother gave me weed,
bone your babysitter
maybe we could just, you know...
Puff-puff?
No, man, I'm going
through with the plan.
Don't mess it up for me.
I mean, Luke,
for both our sakes,
I truly, sincerely hope
you get some ass...
sistance...
Uh, with that
computer problem you got.
Like, technical assistance.
Call, uh, geek squad.
They're good.
Real smooth, Einstein.
You smell great,
Mrs. Lerner.
Don't you have a curfew,
Garrett?
Yeah, but my mom said
I could stay in...
Bed by 11:
00, okay?I know.
And don't forget
to brush your teeth.
I will, mom.
I left pizza money.
Okay!
Robert.
Robert, turn that shit off.
It's giving me a migraine.
Yes, uh, darling.
My ornaments were conspicuously
missing from the tree.
We're not putting those
on the tree.
Bell shoes, or I'll chop your
legs off below the knees.
Are you sure you've never
sucked another man's cock?
Not even in college?
Not some lost weekend?
Fishing trip?
Secret, special friend?
Ever?
Not that I can recall.
Because, honestly,
Robert, this is so...
Meterosexual?
That's not even the word.
It's Metro.
Metrosexual.
I'm allowed to like gay things.
I need a drink.
Oh, my god, the fetus machine!
What the f*ck?
Dude! That is so creepy.
I'm sorry. Please tell me you
You totally do.
Shut up, dick.
You so do.
Of course not.
Hey, maybe it'll put you in the
mood while you're, you know...
She's here.
Good lord, you are breathtaking.
Thank you.
Nice sweater.
Thanks, nice tie.
Thank you.
So, uh, you're leaving us.
Deandra says that you're moving.
Yeah, in a couple of days,
to Pittsburg.
Did I give you permission?
So thank you for coming
because you've
gotta be busy packing.
Yeah, but I mean, I couldn't
Wow! What
a nice thing to say.
Mrs. Lerner,
you look incredible.
Well, thank you. But I
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Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
"Better Watch Out" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 20 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/better_watch_out_3964>.