Better Off Single

Synopsis: NYC dating comedy that follows one man's hallucination-fueled post-breakup quest to find new love... and himself. When Charlie Carroll quits his job and his girlfriend on the same day, it seems as though he's finally found freedom. But after a quick dip in the dark waters of the NYC dating pool, Charlie begins to wonder if he's made a mistake. He's not equipped for single life. In fact, Charlie might not be equipped for life in general. With no job and no love, Charlie is forced to go on a journey of self-discovery so intense that he begins to suffer from surreal hallucinations, flashbacks, and sex fantasies. Will he find "the one?" Or did that ship already sail, taking with it his only hopes for relationship sanity?
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Benjamin Cox
Production: Red Square Pictures
  1 nomination.
85 min

So, I'm not a big

believer in blind dates.

- Uh, me neither.

Even though work colleagues

swore I'd like her...

My sister promised I'd like him.

- Still...

- - We were skeptical.

That is until...

I saw her.

And I saw him.

- Something clicked. We started talking.

- We couldn't stop

- the whole night. -Closed down the

restaurant and went and got drinks.

And then he's such a gentlemen.

- He walked me home.

- Well, almost home.


'cause on this dark street,

these two huge

thugs with brass knuckles...

- And nunchucks.

- -And really bad skin.

They grabbed me, said that they wanted

our money and were going to rape me.

We want your money

and are going to rape you.

- It was horrible.

- -Well, it could've been.

Right, if Barry

hadn't vowed to protect

New York City streets since

being orphaned as a boy.

- Yeah. I'm

the trust-funded avenger.

Is he ever. Barry learned

Thai-stick fighting

on the rough

streets of Princeton.

He was so calm and strong.

I'd never seen a throwing star.

Lucky for them,

I was with a beautiful lady

otherwise, I wouldn't

have been so nice.

And after seeing

the almost tender way

- he vanquished

those ruffians...

I am quite compassionate.

I knew right then, it was time.

Time for me to take

her virginity.

I thought I would be scared

but, thankfully, prior to me

Barry had made love

to more than 80 women.

- 83... which is a lot.

- I felt like I was made of light...

A sexual firefly or something.


- Fetishistic climaxes

again and again and again.

And, the next morning,

after we won $38 million

playing nickel slots...

And started travelling the world

and haven't stopped since.

But, Charlie, that's us, yo.

What about you?

- I haven't seen you since, I

don't know, high school. -Wow.

What's goin' on? Tell us

about your lucky lady.

You've got one of those, right?

Yeah, what's goin' on with you?

Ever notice when you're

not in a relationship

everyone else is in

a ridiculously happy one?



I mean, this guy?

These two?

It's not like this sh*t

ever works out for me.

Charlie, you called her

ten times a day

for the past two weeks.

She doesn't like you, dude.

Now help me find this

boomerang before your mom

- makes us do geometry.

- -Was it my fault?

Who puts a heart around "no"

if she doesn't mean "yes"?

Come on.

And college was even worse.

All I'm saying is next time

don't leave me there by myself

while you go talk

to frat guys all night, okay?

You're the one who told me to go

flirt for free beer, remember?

- You didn't have to like it so much.

- Charlie...

So that's how to avoid

failing the final exam.


You name the relationship

I'll tell you

where it went wrong.

That dog was

such a buzz-kill.

Let's just say we're both

happy it ended...

Like how all my relationships

ended... happy.

Well, until Angela.

You have got to be kidding me.

Angela, I'm sorry I woke you up.

You used to like

middle-of-the-night sex.

I mean you are white-hot,

basically naked in my bed.

You practically groped me.

With my knee?

While sleeping?

- Sh*t. Do you

see it anywhere?


- It's gonna be all right.

Okay? -I told you

to shut that window.

Blood-sucking mosquitoes

are never gonna let me sleep.

- Honey. -I'm already

nervous for my meeting.

Hey. Honey, honey,

honey, honey.


- You know tomorrow's

gonna go great.

And I promise you, even if I have

to stay up all night to do it,

you can sleep the entire time.

That mosquito's teeny

tiny little life will end.

And ever since Angela

and I broke up

I just can't stop thinking.

Don't just kill it...

Torture it.

Pump it for information

find out where those

insect sleeper cells live.

I'm gonna waterboard the

sh*t out of that mosquito.


And I don't care what the

mainstream liberal media

- has to say about it.

- Mmm.

The little f***er deserves it!

I love you.

Mmm. You promise

that mosquito dies after?

Alive mosquitoes

are so last year.

- Just in case.

- Hmm.

Whoa. Oh.

And even though

Angela and I are finished,

"why" just doesn't make sense.

I mean, wouldn't it have

been simpler for us

if we just did the things

in our relationship

that our grandparents

did in theirs?

They never split up.

Hell, even our

parents' generation

did enough to at least

fake-out the kids pre-divorce.

And while I know pretending

is no sure-fire cure-all

it sure as sh*t beats reality.

I don't know.

I wish just once

I had a clue what to do.

And, I mean, I just can't

get out of my head.

My brain just keeps playing

and replaying and replaying.

"Why did

the relationship end?"

How can I get over her?

And I don't know.


No change then?

I really, really tried

to make it work, Charlie.

But you just didn't live here.

You were in another world.

What about the daydreams

and sex fantasies?

Are you still having those?


Look, I know you believe

that other couples

are truly happy

but the truth is, they aren't.

Nobody's happy

unless they're single

and don't have to make compromises...

relationship compromises

that frankly suck for everyone.

Even single people

only think they're happy

but they really aren't.

They hate their parents,

they hate their jobs

and their goddamn

fantasy football teams.

Whatever they can come up with

to keep themselves miserable.

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Benjamin Cox

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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